Baby Milk Price Hike!

Fitzio

pelirocco wrote: »

.......A lot of people complain about the breast feeding police , but from what i see the bottle feeding police are just as bad lol .

I think the difference between BFing and FFing is that those FFing don't try to convince those BFing to change their ideals and do the other. And I know that doesn't apply to everyone BFing, but there always seems to be a few people who want to interfere and try to convince the FFers. It doesn't really happen the other way round as far as I can see. Yes, there are benefits of BFing, but they don't always outweigh FFing for everyone and it's up to individuals to make that decision.

MrsTinks

Fitzio wrote: »

To be honest, whilst I agree with some of the points you have made in your other posts, I think it's unfair of you to judge other people and their reasons for not BFing. That makes you no better than those who are judging you for your decision to stop. I do know several people in RL who decided not to BF at all. They are still excellent mums in every other way. Whilst it is not something I understand, I would not judge or criticise them for it. If it's live and let live, then that should apply to everyone - unless someone is actually causing proper harm to their child then everyone should just get on with their own lives.

I'm free to judge same as everyone else What I haven't done is say "XYZ - I think your reasons for not BFing are rubbish and not good enough". I don't doubt that plenty judge me - same as I judge plenty of people. But 99% of the time I choose not to vocalise or express my judgement. I can even think of times when I've offered moral support despite feeling extreemly judgemental about either the situation or actions.
I've expressed judgement here in certain theoretical scenarios - because I don't personally know anyone who has given up BFing purely for social or "icky" reasons. I don't know if those with icky reasons for example have something in their past that makes them feel uncomfortable about breasts like I react to people touching my teeth... but even if it was a reason to me that wasn't valid then I wouldn't say "well that's not a good enough reason" to them... I may think it, but if the baby is being fed then what business is it of mine?

Someone here mentioned a scenario - then elaborated to state the mum too illigal substances... and yes I think that makes them an unfit mother. Maybe I'm biased... having watched a family member die as a result of a drug addiction I guess might have a tendency to do that to you..

SugarSpun

Fitzio wrote: »

I think the difference between BFing and FFing is that those FFing don't try to convince those BFing to change their ideals and do the other. And I know that doesn't apply to everyone BFing, but there always seems to be a few people who want to interfere and try to convince the FFers. It doesn't really happen the other way round as far as I can see. Yes, there are benefits of BFing, but they don't always outweigh FFing for everyone and it's up to individuals to make that decision.

I've had a few family members suggest I've BF for long enough and should make the switch now. TBH I've just tuned it out because I'm secure in my choices and my happy baby, but when they said it when I wasn't sure about her weight gain (~4 months, and my OH was in the hospital for a month so I was run ragged trying to BF, keep a household running and visit him in the hospital) I seriously considered it purely for the ability to see that she was eating enough and that the quality of my milk hadn't suffered for all the running around I was doing.

If I hadn't been able to get her weighed and make sure she was gaining ok I might have switched. There can be pressure from both sides - but the people doing the pressuring seem always to have babies' best interests at heart and just don't realise that sometimes they can be kinder to the parent by not saying anything.

JBD

MrsTine wrote: »

Every weekend? Choosing not to BF purely to accomodate her social life? Not because she can't... but because she thinks it's more important to go out and dance all night and get drunk? I have nothing against mums going out - but there is a difference between going out once in a while and treating a baby like a puppy that you can leave with friends and making decisions based on that for it's wellbeing.
Yes the baby will be fed and probably healthy - but mentally healthy as it grows up? If that is the mums attitude then I doubt it.
I've left DD several times to go out - usually with hubby whilst I go to committee meetings for a few hours, a couple of times so that hubby and I can go out for dinner together but I certainly didn't give up BFing because it didn't fit my social calendar. Yes formula is adequate for any baby - but if you choose not to BF because you find it icky then boy are you gonna be in for a fun ride with the poos wees and puke...

Once again,it doesn't matter why someone makes a choice. It doesn't matter why you gave up breastfeeding as compared to someone else. You seemed to dislike being judged by someone else but you think it's alright to judge other people? It doesn't actually make you any better because you gave up for those reasons. Your baby is still being fed in the same way as any other bottle fed baby. And yes, people can dislike breastfeeding if they wish. How does that relate to poos wees and puke?

Fitzio

Mrs T - for the record, I was outraged at the comment about your reason not being good enough! It prompted me to type a massive reply last night, but my laptop battery died before I posted it and it was probably just as well! And I did not see the edited post about the drug taking. You are right, you are free to judge if that's what you want to do, but then I guess it's fine for Skinty etc to judge and criticise your choices too. I just think it's "unfair" to judge others, particularly without knowing them personally. If someone is an unfit mother due to serious drug abuse, it doesn't really matter how they are feeding their baby. They should be reported to the authorities if their child is in danger. However, I am sure you know that not all drug use is the same and you can't condemn everyone because of the awful experience you have had, although I can understand how it can influence your way of thinking.

xmaslolly76

OMG I do here by solomly swear never to open another thread about baby milk!!!

Can we all please just agree to disagree and be happy that we have all made the right choice for our own babies PLEeeeeeeeaasseeee!!

MrsTinks

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

OMG I do here by solomly swear never to open another thread about baby milk!!!

Can we all please just agree to disagree and be happy that we have all made the right choice for our own babies PLEeeeeeeeaasseeee!!

Oh dear... you'll never dare open another thread full stop!

I still love you if that helps? :A

LilacPixie

Why do these threads always turn out like this??

I am sure we can all agree that breast is best but sometimes/often it is not possible to follow that for whatever reason.

Personally I am a fully paid up member of the 'bad mummy club' but I refuse to be judged my anyone on my choices. I fed my childeren the way it was best for us all and that is all any mother can do.

JBD

SugarSpun wrote: »

Edit: JBD I was talking about the mummy who chose to FF purely because she wanted to go out clubbing once a week. I don't think parents should have their lives revolve around their kids, but I know this particular mummy quite well and find it a bit judge-worthy that she spends her Saturday shopping for something to wear and getting ready to go out, her Saturday night out clubbing and her Sunday recovering from a cocaine/booze hangover. Having said that, it does make me much happier that she isn't BFing the baby after what she ingests of a weekend.

Yes, Iagree in this situation this is wrong. IMO it is unacceptable to use illegal drugs whilst caring for a child, also wrong to be hungover the next day. This is unsafe and obviously goes beyond a normal social life.

MrsTinks

Fitzio wrote: »

Mrs T - for the record, I was outraged at the comment about your reason not being good enough! It prompted me to type a massive reply last night, but my laptop battery died before I posted it and it was probably just as well! And I did not see the edited post about the drug taking. You are right, you are free to judge if that's what you want to do, but then I guess it's fine for Skinty etc to judge and criticise your choices too. I just think it's "unfair" to judge others, particularly without knowing them personally. If someone is an unfit mother due to serious drug abuse, it doesn't really matter how they are feeding their baby. They should be reported to the authorities if their child is in danger. However, I am sure you know that not all drug use is the same and you can't condemn everyone because of the awful experience you have had, although I can understand how it can influence your way of thinking.

I think you're still missing my point...

Yes they are free to judge me... same as I am them. I just DON'T criticise them to them with the intent of making them feel less able at being mums than I am. Why can they not do the same?