Today I put my 5yo ds over my knee & smacked his bare bum - I'm mortified with myself

swiss69

I used to get toys on my birthday and at xmas. Nowadays kids are spoilt rotten. People spend hundreds on toddlers at xmas. They buy toys all year round for no other reason than the child wants it! They misbehave in general for attention because half the time they dont get any.......

saver_007

Buddingblonde wrote: »

:rotfl:

I went to the pictures a few months ago and a small child (5/6) ran down the isle, along the front, up the next isle, along the back and repeat. He spent a good 20 mins running around and the mother of the child did nothing - I had to burst out laughing (as did everyone else) when the wee sh*t tripped over and fell and started crying - his mum took him out quick enough when she realised that the whole cinema was laughing and clapping at the son.

It all comes down to manners, the parent obvioulsy had none so why would you expect the child to? poor child doesn't deserve a smack for its parental misfortune .

Dr.Shoe_2

There is nothing wrong with smacking a kid if they truly deserve it. The root of all society's problems is lack of parental discipline.

Buddingblonde

saver_007 wrote: »

It all comes down to manners, the parent obvioulsy had none so why would you expect the child to? poor child doesn't deserve a smack for its parental misfortune .

I was demonstrating that easy osy parenting doesnt make for good behaviour and most people have no time for children who are brought up with no manners, unable to behave and the only repremand is "*** dont do that" with various threats and no follow through.

mountainofdebt

well my son was smacked when warranted (not often granted) and it hasn't done him any harm; in fact he has been called a young gentleman, which at 17 is a rare thing these days.

I wouldn't apologise for smacking him and think that many parents these days want to be friends with their offspring rather than parents which is where it all starts going wrong in my book.

fernliebee

Buddingblonde wrote: »

I was demonstrating that easy osy parenting doesnt make for good behaviour and most people have no time for children who are brought up with no manners, unable to behave and the only repremand is "*** dont do that" with various threats and no follow through.

Your example is not of "easy osy parenting" (?) it is lazy parenting. Not one person on here that doesn't agree with smacking is saying to ignore kid's bad behaviour. There are other sanctions that are just as effective (if not more in some cases.) I think we all know examples of lazy parents, either the "Dooooon't do thaaaaat" brigade, or the other sort who appear heavy handed, but are actually just letting them away with it by using empty threats.

Ultimately it is up to each parent to decide what works for their own, and by saying that children who don't get a slap are going to grow up to be tearaways is the same as saying those who do will be traumatised. As I said before I was smacked once, my brother once, (both were followed by apologies) and my younger brother never was. All three of us have grown up to be "good citizens" and all of us don't smack our children.

There are all types of people in the world and all types of parent.

Cullumpster

Person_one wrote: »

I have never stolen anything and I was never hit as a child.

Really, we need to stop using the 'this is what happened to me and I turned out fine' anecdote as evidence for anything. Most people turn out 'ok' generally even if they had difficultt childhoods and some people with idyllic childhoods grow to be horrible adults. There are those who would argue that if you grew up thinking its fine for adults to hit children then actually, you didn't!

My opinion wasn't supposed to be I was smacked therefore I didn't ever steal, I was just stating that how my mother disiplined me was fair, obviously at the time I didn't think so but I soon accepted that there were consequences for being naughty, I wasn't beaten or abused in any way and totally agree with the was I was disiplined. Obviously some people do not agree with this but I absolutly do not agree with that statement.

Person_one

Cullumpster wrote: »

My opinion wasn't supposed to be I was smacked therefore I didn't ever steal, I was just stating that how my mother disiplined me was fair, obviously at the time I didn't think so but I soon accepted that there were consequences for being naughty, I wasn't beaten or abused in any way and totally agree with the was I was disiplined. Obviously some people do not agree with this but I absolutly do not agree with that statement.

The point I was making with this post was that saying "x happened or didn't happen to me and I turned out fine" is not really helpful to the discussion. Its too subjective.

alleycat`

On a slightly different (but similar topic) is it possible that a lot of people won't discipline their kids in public because they are afraid of what other people might do?

fernliebee

alleycat` wrote: »

On a slightly different (but similar topic) is it possible that a lot of people won't discipline their kids in public because they are afraid of what other people might do?

Exactly! Which is where the inconsistency comes in! My little girl has had time out at friends houses and in a restaurant too. She would get the same at home. IMO the 'wait til I get you home" mentality doesn't work, especially with small children who would have problems seeing the correlation between a naughty act and said punishment an hour later say.

TBH, I think the biggest problem why kid's are seen as out of control now is because when we were young if there was a lazy parent that didn't discipline their child, then the child would be disciplined by other people, teachers, shop keepers, bobby on the beat etc. Now if you so much as ask another child to stop doing something then parents would be threatening to sue etc.

I'm def not saying I would be happy for someone to give my child a 'clip round the ear' but if they were doing something wrong then I would deal with it, but if I missed it then I would be pleased that someone else was telling them as long as it wasn't shouting their head off, but simply telling them what they had done that was wrong.

Also kid's seem to be mis informed about their 'human rights' I'm all for teaching children these rights but they seem to be skimmed over, and my kids at worked were convinced that human rights meant they could do what they wanted, when they wanted. They wanted the play station on more, and coke instead of water/ milk at snack etc all were their rights!