Today I put my 5yo ds over my knee & smacked his bare bum - I'm mortified with myself

mumslave

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1240279/Children-smacked-young-likely-successful-study-finds.html

:eek::eek::eek::eek: tis the daily mail, must be rubbish.

Person_one

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

Sorry but I think this is a load of carp. Slapping a child is hardly the same as punching someone in the gut. A child learns from a slap that they have done wrong and if they want to avoid a slap and the associated anger they get from their parents that they shouldn't do it again. Assuming you are slapping your child in a responsible way as I have already described, nothing bad should come from it.

I used to work in a nursery and the majority of kids that displayed aggression to other children were the ones who weren't disciplined at home and didn't know right from wrong. People used to smack their kids all the time a few decades ago- was everyone beating each other up then? No, funnily enough people were a lot better behaved.

Does the insanity of this statement not leap out at you? What can I say, I'm sad that we live in a country where its illegal to hit another adult (however 'responsibly') but you're perfectly within your rights to do it to your own child.

honeyD

mumslave wrote: »

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1240279/Children-smacked-young-likely-successful-study-finds.html

:eek::eek::eek::eek: tis the daily mail, must be rubbish.

*not long enough*

mumslave

honeyD wrote: »

*not long enough*

Twas being discussed on a parenting forum I use....I only read the daily mail once a day :rotfl:

Fuzzy_Duck

Person_one wrote: »

Does the insanity of this statement not leap out at you? What can I say, I'm sad that we live in a country where its illegal to hit another adult (however 'responsibly') but you're perfectly within your rights to do it to your own child.

No, it doesn't. As far as I'm concerned you're the adult. They are the child. You are not beating them up, you are giving them a short sharp shock that tells them 'no' if nothing else works. I have had to repeat myself a lot here now as people aren't reading my posts properly- I don't see a slap as hitting a child. In my opinion it should not hurt them!

It doesn't matter how clearly I try to express myself, there will always be people who see slapping as child abuse- that's insane to me. I'm trying to put my opinion forward, and I am well aware that I have to keep posting as people take offence to what I've said- I don't mind that, but please don't patronise me with it. I'm entitled to my opinion, and you are entitled to yours but we can express them in a way that's not insulting.

For the record HoneyD expressed what I wanted to say wonderfully... as I seem to have come across badly in this topic!!

Person_one

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

No, it doesn't. As far as I'm concerned you're the adult. They are the child. You are not beating them up, you are giving them a short sharp shock that tells them 'no' if nothing else works.

It doesn't matter how clearly I try to express myself, there will always be people who see slapping as child abuse- that's insane to me. I'm trying to put my opinion forward, and I am well aware that I have to keep posting as people take offence to what I've said- I don't mind that, but please don't patronise me with it. I'm entitled to my opinion, and you are entitled to yours but we can express them in a way that's not insulting.

I apologise if I insulted you. Clearly this is an issue where people have polar opposite views and me and you are never going to agree here!

A question out of genuine curiosity though, how do you reconcile the difference between society's attitude towards adults striking each other and striking children? Obviously children do have fewer rights than adults (they can't vote, drive etc) but isn't it a human right to not be subject to violence of any sort?

Also, doesn't legal smacking lead to a grey area regarding where it turns into child abuse? Its so subjective and everybody will have a different 'line' as to what is acceptable.

Cullumpster

I was smacked as a child when I was naughty, only twice that I can remember but it was cause I deserved it, once was for running accross a busy road and the other for stealing ( I was caught red handed by my mum ) consequently I have never stole again even though it was only a packet of crisps I was 7 years old. My mum dragged me back into the shop, made me tell the lady i'd stolen the crisps and pay for them gave the packet to my brother to eat, took me home, pulled my pants down and smacked me with her slipper, then sent me to bed with no dinner cause i'd already eaten! I'd opened the bag and was eating outside anyway I absolutely agree with what she did and would do the same thing with my little boy, I have not turned into a bad person

honeyD

Cullumpster wrote: »

I was smacked as a child when I was naughty, only twice that I can remember but it was cause I deserved it, once was for running accross a busy road and the other for stealing ( I was caught red handed by my mum ) consequently I have never stole again even though it was only a packet of crisps I was 7 years old. My mum dragged me back into the shop, made me tell the lady i'd stolen the crisps and pay for them gave the packet to my brother to eat, took me home, pulled my pants down and smacked me with her slipper, then sent me to bed with no dinner cause i'd already eaten! I'd opened the bag and was eating outside anyway I absolutely agree with what she did and would do the same thing with my little boy, I have not turned into a bad person

This reminded me of when I was younger and had taken my younger sister to the shop and she came out with an ice lolly yet I didnt know she had it. I took her back in and made her tell them she had stolen it and got her to pay for it :rotfl:What a sister I was ey? lol:A

sparrer

DD1 - academically brilliant, hardly ever smacked, sending her to her room was, we thought, punishment enough.'Til we found out she was an incredible liar and flaunted the discipline completely. Won't go into details as there's too much, suffice to say we're still reeling today

DD2 - A normal, michievous monkey who would get a smack after being warned it would happen if she kept ignoring us. NOT 'planned smacking' just carrying through if/when necessary. Why tell lies? If you say you're going to do something you do it or it leaves the child confused about discipline.

DS1 - grrrr! He could be a horror! Also got the occasional smack for over the mark misdemeanours - see DD2

Result -

DD1 stole from us, her young siblings and our business, ran away when she was 16, last seen as she said she 'didn't need family' 15 years ago, leaving a trail of hurt and bewilderment behind her to this day

DD2 - An amazing adult with 3 beautifully behaved and well mannered children, a remarkable friend to others, never lets anyone down, a kind, and if I say so myself brilliant dog breeder and shower - the sort who has all the dogs in the house, not in cages - works to give a friend who is a publican, some free time...all this with lupus.

DS1 - The other joy of my life. Daft blighter, chronic sense of humour, loving (he lives 250 miles away and phones me every day) does a job in all weathers that is difficult to say the least but his sort goes to work so others can sleep sound and safe, and is 'dad' to his OH's 3 children..

I was smacked as a child if I ever did a wrong which deserved it. My DM and I still laugh about the time she put me over her knee when I was 12.

Naughty step, no MacDonalds, denying a favourite television programme...pah! We're becoming a nation of wimps and it scares me. As for feeling guilty about a smack, the child should be the one made to feel guilty for doing wrong. To those who praise the Nanny programmes they are reality TV, which is in fact not 'real life' at all. They're in the same league as Big Brother, I'm a Celeb etc. I spent the whole programme telling the costumed, buxom actress with the 1950's hairstyle to tell the parents all that's needed is a good smack!

Just my humble opinion, you understand

saver_007

honeyD wrote: »

This reminded me of when I was younger and had taken my younger sister to the shop and she came out with an ice lolly yet I didnt know she had it. I took her back in and made her tell them she had stolen it and got her to pay for it :rotfl:What a sister I was ey? lol:A

i work in a shop and I'll never forget the day a poor mother brought her equally poor daughter (6) in to speak to the manager .
Very sullen faces, long story short the child had stolen a toy (50p-not that the value really matters) and the mother was making the child tell the manager what she had done as a way of disciplining her ( or putting the fear of god into her).
I could tell it was a hard one for the parents to do just goes to show there are times being a parent is soooo hard! But I bet the child never steals again.

Incidentally three managers refused to have anything to do with it, one of the more senior guys stating that he would start "bubbling"- it was a female manager who eventually did it!