Miscarriage support

mirrorimage0

hi all, just wanted to pop in and actually reply for once, debs (and everyoneelse) sorry to hear your loss, same sort of thing happened to us, i started bleeding the day before my twelve week scan so went to hospital and was told to go homeandcomeback tomorrow for our scan, which we did and they told us the baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks, i knew it had happened but when my husband tried to hug me i said "ive already told you that it had happened i dont need you to cuddle me" i so wish i could take that back, makes me feel really bad now as i didntconsider what he needed at that moment. anyway i literally cut off everyone for around 2 months (it was over xmas too) ijust didnt want to see anyone at all, not work or theschool run (i have 2 boys already) or family my parents had my boys for a couple of weeks too (i was in and out of hospital, losing too much blood and transfusions etc) my boss even came round to see me but i wouldnt answer the door if everyone was out (even though she could see me through the doors) looking back i think i went slightly mad, this all happened well over a yr ago now, i was 29 at the time and baby was due on my 30th birthday which was hard, but we did get through it, we are still getting through, i think of my baby often, with love and affection,and sadness, i still do cry at times but i know im lucky i have my two boys , im not sure if i will try again, i dont thinki could cope if it was to happen again. yet every part of me longs to hold another baby in my arms. omg sorry just realised ive written an essay, only wanted to say hi and it all just sort of come out, and as for stupid things that people say i had 3 people tell me that maybe i just cant carry girls. yet we didnt even knowthe sex. one of them was my mother inlaw!!

msb5262

mirrorimage0 wrote: »

omg sorry just realised ive written an essay, only wanted to say hi and it all just sort of come out

Hello mirrorimage0 - well done for being brave and sharing your experience of loss. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hope you will find a way to move on, whether or not this involves trying for another baby.
Best wishes
MsB

mirrorimage0

thanks msb just re read my post slighlty confusing, i was going to make a point about it does get better and, time does heal etc, but quite clearly every now and again it also hits you hard, we have got through this as a family, we are all doing fine, like i said imnotsure i could handle going that again, and my partner doesnt really want any more children but will agree to it if i want. at the momentactually we aretalkingabout fostering children, it was somethingwe looked into before i was pregnant last time,and may start looking into again.

portsmouthali

Hi Mirrorimage0, I didn't find your post confusing. In fact you put across very well the range of emotions we've all felt, I remember especially with my first mc I didn't want to face people and have to explain what had happened.

Hope you're OK, and thanks for posting xx

katyj10

Mirror, sorry to hear your story. You made perfect sense. Someone told me after two MC that I probably couldn't carry boys... I didn't know what I was having either (and it was my first child). Everyone thinks they are an expert when it's the last thing you want to hear.
Take care, love to all
K x

SusanC_2

ddebski_us wrote: »

I'm strangely ok with it right now. The whole episode feels very surreal and almost like I was never actually pg in the first place - very odd. Don't know if it's my coping mechanism that has kicked in?

I sometimes feel like that - like my pregnancy was just a lovely dream or something which I imagined.

Amara

BIg hugs, Mirror:( Today my baby would be due... I'd had a Halloween baby:( Really spooky

portsmouthali

Thinking of you Amara xxxx

jules68

Really feel like I have hit a brick wall this morning.My life feels like its in limbo!! Went to see my manager today as my sick note runs out so was hoping just to go back next week.But no that would be easy, have to see occ health first so might have to take another week off.So fed up, just want a baby but that seems like it will never happen at mo.Sorry feel really selfish going on but its just not fair.

SusanC_2

jules68 wrote: »

So fed up, just want a baby but that seems like it will never happen at mo.Sorry feel really selfish going on but its just not fair.

Hugs. I think it's fairly normal to feel like that. (or at least I hope it is as that's what I felt like.) And you're not selfish - that's what this thread is here for.