Miscarriage support

Frosti

Remembering Emily, who would have been celebrating her 21st birthday today, if only..
No sympathy or counselling available then, just get on with it and keep quiet woman.

ddebski_us

Feeling in limbo today - nothing doing. No hospital appointments today, DH has gone back to work. Our pregnancy is all over and everything goes back to normal. I'm barely bleeding as well - like my baby has vanished without a trace. Like it never happened.

I feel like I want to get PG again straight away, to prove my stupid body can do it. DH wants to wait until the new year, saying that he doesn't think he can cope with more TTC/PG/MC stress this year. I understand what he means, but I feel like I need to prove myself.

QQuaver

ddebski_us wrote: »

I feel like I want to get PG again straight away, to prove my stupid body can do it.

I felt the same too, only way to 'get over' is being pg again.
Perhaps leave few days and see how your DH feels.

You are supposed to be super fertile after mc, so it's worth a shot, and gives you something else to think about.

We left 3 months after our mc to ttc again, I feel like I've missed my chance:o

SusanC_2

ddebski_us wrote: »

I feel like I want to get PG again straight away, to prove my stupid body can do it. DH wants to wait until the new year, saying that he doesn't think he can cope with more TTC/PG/MC stress this year. I understand what he means, but I feel like I need to prove myself.

My husband initially said he wasn't sure about trying straight away. I told him my reasons for not wanting to wait and that he didn't need to decide immediately and after a few days he decided he did. I'm not saying yours will necessarily change his mind but it is possible he may feel differently after you've both had a little bit of time to recover from the shock. I supspect mine was worried about the impact on me but the way I explained it was that for me because if we delayed TTC it would inevitably be delaying the next baby which would be increasing the effect of the miscarriage which for me would have made it worse.

jules68

Still bleeding 10 days on!!! Want it to stop so I can start trying again.

ddebski again sorry for your loss, we all know how you feel on here, but its still an individual thing for us all with our feelings.You should only go back to work when you feel its right xx

ddebski_us

Sorry you're still bleeding jules.... I started bleeding week last Saturday (so guess I'm on day 11) and I had ERPC yesterday. Sick of it.

Wish people would stop saying "it's a blessing it's happened now".

Why is it? Isn't it a blessing if I were to have gone on and actually given birth? Aren't those who never have a MC the ones who are blessed? HOW is this a blessing?:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

xDx

QQuaver

ddebski_us wrote: »

Wish people would stop saying "it's a blessing it's happened now".

(((Hugs))).
It's not a blessing. I don't want that kind of blessing - ever:(

MERFE

oh debs I can't believe people have said that to you, no loss of a child is ever a blessing no matter when it happens. Unless they have been there they really don't understand all the plans you have made and the massive shock you've just had. You have all my sympathies xxxx

SusanC_2

ddebski_us wrote: »

Wish people would stop saying "it's a blessing it's happened now".

Why is it? Isn't it a blessing if I were to have gone on and actually given birth? Aren't those who never have a MC the ones who are blessed? HOW is this a blessing?:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

:grouphug: I guess if people haven't gone through it themselves them they just look at it from a practical point of view rather than an emotional point of view. From a practical point of view I can see why people would think that it is better to happen earlier than later and until it happens to you you probably don't realise that it doesn't mitigate the loss that it was earlier. I read somewhere in my extensive miscarriage related internet wanderings that on average people grieve pretty much the same over a miscarriage as over a stillbirth or neonatal loss but I guess as early pregnancy isn't real and tangible to other people in the way it was to you it doesn't seem as significant to them.

marywooyeah

ddebski_us wrote: »

But how can I concentrate on mundane work when I'm torn inside. I have an almost constant internal monologue of "I lost my baby" on repeat..........

I lost my baby. I want my baby.

:(:(

oh dddebski I read this and it brought me to tears I am so sorry you lost baby Albert. the same monologue has been going round my head daily for over four years, its heartbreaking isnt it.

I understand completely what you mean about feeling guilty for wanting another, but you shouldnt feel bad at all. you're not replacing Albert, each child is different and nothing will ever replace him.

I am so sorry Deb *sending you the biggest hug* xxxxxxxxx