Miscarriage support

gratefulforhelp_2

ddebski_us wrote: »

Hello ladies

Unfortunately I have my own story to add to the thread.

I was meant to be going for my 12 week scan this coming Monday but I found out yesterday that my bean (who I called Albert) had stopped growing at around 7 weeks.

I started brown spotting on Saturday and called my MW who showed no concern whatsoever, telling me just to wait until Monday. I knew something was wrong - I just *felt* it. I've had barely any symptoms (just sore b o o b s) and bloating really and scattiness. That all disappeared, I guess around the time Albert went to sleep.

I find it hard to know that I've been carrying him around with me oblivious to the fact that he wasn't really there. I've been talking to him and he was dead.

My bleeding is a lot heavier today and I'm booked in for an ERCP on Monday (the day my 12 week scan was meant to be). I want it all over and done with sooner rather than later so I can start to move on. However, the idea of replacing him breaks my heart and just the thought of BDing makes me cry.

My DH is very practical and doesn't seem to be grieving. I find this hard to cope with as I feel the loss. I guess for him, nothing really had changed apart from "fact".

I'm sure it gets easier but at the moment it doesn't feel like it will. I just want my baby Albert back.

xDx

God love you DEbski, so sorry you have lost Albert.

mico62

squoog wrote: »

I have had a similar experience, I lost one at 23 weeks, 1 at 12 weeks and went on to have 4 early miscarriages. I was eventually sent for tests at St Marys in London at the recurrent miscarriage clinic for a condition called Anti Phospholipid syndrome(a condition that causes tiny clots in the placenta, therefore causing baby to die in utero.). My results were borderline but they felt I should be treated if pregnant again. process took about 4 months and when I got the diagnosis I was already pregnant so started treatment. It involved taking junior aspirin daily and injecting myself with heparin. My pregnancy was successful and my twins are now nearly 5 yrs old!
x

I had the same problem and was treated at Liverpool Womens. I nearly murdered my consultant when I came back from the pharmacy with my dispensed prescription - he had told me I'd be having complete bedrest from confirmation of pregnancy until 16 weeks but it worked and I've now got 2 horrible teenagers.

chucknorris69

I am so sorry to read your post and my thoughts are with you ddebski. Your story is similar to mine and it’s devastating. xx

sassy_one

Didn't want to read and run.

I just want to say I am sorry for all those who have lost a child and my thoughts are with you.

It is never a nice thing losing someone, least of all a child.

Remember, your GP can offer advice and support along with many other charities that are out there.

jules68

Am so fed up today!! a weeek on and still bleeding, just reminds me of last week.So much for the hospital saying the bleeding will be over in a week.Spoke to my GP and he said at least another week to 10 days.Just finding it so hard to move on from all this.Feel guilty with whatever I do at the moment....Sorry for Rant xx

SusanC_2

jules68 wrote: »

Am so fed up today!! a weeek on and still bleeding, just reminds me of last week.So much for the hospital saying the bleeding will be over in a week.Spoke to my GP and he said at least another week to 10 days.Just finding it so hard to move on from all this.Feel guilty with whatever I do at the moment....Sorry for Rant xx

:grouphug: It's not your fault.

ddebski_us

Had my ERPC today - it went well - was in and out within 6.5 hours and am up and about - although feeling a bit woozy.

I'm a bit worried about my emotional state; I feel "numb". I haven't blubbed properly since Friday and have just withdrawn really and don't want to do anything but lie on the sofa. I have no hopes/plans for the future other than getting pg and being a mum and don't really have anything to focus on now.

It was meant to be my 12 week dating scan today.

I'm meant to be back at work on Wednesday and I feel like after today I'm just meant to get on with life. But how can I concentrate on mundane work when I'm torn inside. I have an almost constant internal monologue of "I lost my baby" on repeat..........

I lost my baby. I want my baby.

:(:(

msb5262

ddebski_us wrote: »

It was meant to be my 12 week dating scan today.

I'm meant to be back at work on Wednesday and I feel like after today I'm just meant to get on with life. But how can I concentrate on mundane work when I'm torn inside. I have an almost constant internal monologue of "I lost my baby" on repeat..........

I lost my baby. I want my baby.

:(:(

Debs, I'm so sorry. It's really sad and you're suffering dreadfully.
I wish there was anything we could do to help apart from offer sympathy, support, understanding and hopefully in the future encouragement with your next pregnancy. All those things are here and I hope you'll keep posting here as long as you need - you can rest assured that people here will listen and be here for you.

Do you really have to go back to work on Wednesday? It's incredibly soon after having a general anaesthetic and you are bound to be sore, exhausted and probably still bleeding - and those are just the physical symptoms. Your emotional state may be raw for quite a while yet.

So so sorry. Thinking of you a lot and hoping you'll find a way out of that dark place before too long.

Best wishes

MsB

katyj10

Debs, so sorry to hear your sad news.

I actually found work to be of help (in that it took my mind off things) after my two MC last year, but everyone's different. What you're feeling now is normal and its fine to not want to do anything but sit on the couch and take some time out.

It'll get better and at least you still want to try for a baby. Just get yourself physically and mentally better in your own time and things will start to look better soon.

You'll never forget this time in your life but feel free to talk to us as we've been there and know what it's like and can offer some hope for the future.

Take care

Katy x

portsmouthali

Hi Debs, I know exactly what you mean about the "I lost my baby" mantra. I remember waking up the day after my scan, and momentarily forgetting what had happened. Then it hit me like a rocket - "I'm not pregnant anymore" and I don't think I've ever felt so sad in my life

I found that this time round I didn't need so much time off work, but the first time I was so shocked (for want of a better word) by the whole thing that I just couldn't face talking to people about mundane things when something so devastating had happened to me, and I needed that time to grieve. I think I had about 2 weeks off in all, and my doctor would have signed me off for longer if I'd asked.

You have to do what you think is right, but don't rush yourself back if you feel like you need a bit more time - you have every right to put your feet up after what you've been through xxxx

Jules, hope you're OK and the bleeding eases up soon. I found it such a relief when it stopped, like it was another step forward if that makes sense. And you don't need to apologise for ranting, I've done more ranting on this thread than anyone else!!

((hugs)) to all who need them, you're in my thoughts xxxxx