Miscarriage support

jules68

ddebski....sending you a big hug.


It is so hard getting over a loss.My first miscarriage last yr when the baby died at 7 weeks was harder to get over the one I have just had at 18 weeks. Last yr I had a D&C and just felt there was no closure as such as I did not see anything.Took a while to start feeling positive. This time things seem different as I had to give birth to Jack it felt like I had been given a chance to see him whereas last yr I did not get this. I still weep for my loss last yr and for the one this time round.People will say stupid things, but you know in your heart that that was was little baby xx

chucknorris69

ddebski I felt so numb afterwards and was worried I was being so matter of fact about things, that I watched a film that I knew would make me cry so that I could show some emotion which I found helped as I felt better after crying.

I also found going back to work hard but good as it gave me something to do – I had to function and answer the phone etc. I found it hard the fact that hardly anyone knew about my grief and what I had been through and the first week of work I found emotionally and physically draining. I also kept my head down as didn’t want to speak to anyone or listen to any inane chat. I am still having trouble sleeping as when I do sleep I find myself dreaming and feel as though I am running on empty all the time.

Today was three weeks to the day from my scan when my worst fears were confirmed and it got to half eleven which was when I was having my scan and had to go to the toilet and cry. Yesterday, I bought a bracelet to remember my baby by which we had been calling fig which I have found has helped as I feel as though fig is still close by. I am heartbroken and the reality that life goes on is hard to deal with but I have spoken to so many people since who have had similar, if not worse experiences. It doesn’t make it better and if I am honest I don’t want to get back to normality I just want my fig back.

This thread has really helped and I am so thankful for everyone sharing their experiences. xx

gratefulforhelp_2

jules68 wrote: »

It is so hard getting over a loss.My first miscarriage last yr when the baby died at 7 weeks was harder to get over the one I have just had at 18 weeks. Last yr I had a D&C and just felt there was no closure as such as I did not see anything.Took a while to start feeling positive. This time things seem different as I had to give birth to Jack it felt like I had been given a chance to see him whereas last yr I did not get this. I still weep for my loss last yr and for the one this time round.People will say stupid things, but you know in your heart that that was was little baby xx

Dear God that must have been hard. Hugs, jules and for you debski.

People are just crap, they say dumb things because they have no concept of how you feel.

There isn't an answer or a formula to whether we should try again, go back to work, how long it will take, and so on.

The only thing we can do I guess is go easy on ourselves and trust that the right way forward will seem clear in time.

ddebski_us

My maternity exemption certificate has arrived today. I have to send it back. How cruel to expect me to pay for a stamp to send it back - surely it could have been freepost?

xDx

babyboysmommy

ddebski_us wrote: »

My maternity exemption certificate has arrived today. I have to send it back. How cruel to expect me to pay for a stamp to send it back - surely it could have been freepost?

xDx

I didn't return mine, it also arrived after my last miscarriage so I threw it straight in the bin without reading anything.

deborahmcgeachy

This is just a post of support to Debs as I got to know her on the TTC thread and wanted to pass on my deepest sympathys!!! (((HUGS)))

Sympathys to all you other ladies too, it must be the hardest thing in the world to go through!!!!

ddebski_us

Back to work for me today. I'm doing ok so far - one bout of tears but I feel like I'm going to be ok.



My boss (who is very manly and unpolitically correct) has told me to leave early for the rest of the week; just to go when I need to. Bless him. Everyone else is just ignoring the issue really and talking to me as normal. Apart from one lady, who gave me a bar of chocolate.

However, I have been told that one of the more senior people here was asking if I've sorted out my sickness certificate as she doesn't want "HR on her back". Selfish cow. Luckily my immediate boss backed me up and practically told her to "f" off.....

xDx

QQuaver

Seems you have a good boss Debski (((hugs))).

My boss was very understanding too, he told me his second wife (he's on his fourth now:lipsrseal) had three mcs before having their son:o

portsmouthali

Glad work was OK for you Debs.

One of my colleagues gave me a bar of chocolate on Monday too she didn't say anything, just put it in on my desk in front of me. I found it very touching My boss has been lovely, and asks me about 10 times a day if I'm OK. Bless her.

jules68

Really struggling today!! Just want to hide away.Funeral on Wednesday and was hoping we would have the post mortem results back by now.Still bleeding, been over 2 weeks now. Just so fed up . Just feels like my life is stuck in limbo.