Miscarriage support

JulieGeorgiana

portsmouthali wrote: »

So sorry JG, I've had 2 miscarriages and a so-called chemical pregnancy within the last year so really do feel for you. I also have an 8 year old and never dreamt for a minute it would be so difficult to produce baby no. 2!!

Thanks for posting xxx

I'm very glad I posted... I feel like I have managed to get things off my chest! I kind of need someone to tell... who would listen!

I never thought I would be trying for a 2nd... with my knees I gave up hope of getting them fixed...!

Then I had them reconstructed over 4 surgeries and 12 months and in Feb 2009 was given the all clear to have children!!

I figured it would all be so simple... now 9 months on and I am sick of it all... sick of the nights I cried and the days I worried!

As you said '...never dreamt for a minute it would be so difficult to produce baby no. 2!!'

Me either!

Thanks for the support x

Lauralou

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

Did you get anything positive from the tests?

I think I have a few large fears:

1) they are going to be rude and blase! about it all like a lot of medical people have been...

2) they are not going to take me seriously

3) The worst fear... they won't find anything wrong!!!!

If they find something wrong at least they can fix it!!!

How long does it take for test results????

I really did just take you up on your offer for help!!

:rotfl:Well i did say you could
1)No i dont think they will be rude. As your going to a Miscarriage gynecologist then they should be professional and should understand what you have been through

2) They will take you seriously!

3) They didnt find anything wrong which i was both happy and sad about.

My experience with the gynecologist wasnt great to be honest but i think mine didnt specialise in mcs but yours does. And i just didnt like the man if im honest, as some of the things he said i didnt find professional.
The hospital f'ed up my results so i was waiting about two months for them but they said it would take about 2weeks. me and my OH had the chromosome tests done.

Hope that helps:D
EDIT: I see your from Southampton(thats not far from me) Where is the miscarriage gynecologist unit you have been referred too? Hope you dont mind me asking!

Hi ali:D

JulieGeorgiana

Lauralou wrote: »

EDIT: I see your from Southampton(thats not far from me) Where is the miscarriage gynecologist unit you have been referred too? Hope you dont mind me asking!

Thank you for your advice. Since I had the same issues with my 2004 miscarriage with my Ex Husband, as I have now with my Current Husband, the Dr doesn't think my Husband will need tests, but he's comings anyway

I have chosen to go to the Princess Ann Hospital in Southampton, as they were the ones who dealt with my miscarriage in July.

pebblespop

just want to thank everyone who has contributed here. i suffered a missed miscarriage at 11weeks and 4 days about 10 days ago and reading the stories from here has really helped me to get through it.

my story is:

i went for my twelve week nuchal scan at 11 weeks and was told the baby was 1mm too small for the nuchal test and to come back in a couple of weeks. i felt disapointed as i was rushed out and not told due date, didn't get to see midwife or anything. not really sure what a normal 12 week scan should go like. still i saw the heartbeat and got a picture(they told me to wait till next time for the pic but i really wanted one - am now glad i got it). left the hospital feeling really disapointed rather than happy as i would have expected.

a couple of days later i had a bit of spotting, hardly anything at all really but DH got me to ring NHS direct anyway. they booked me in for a scan at EPU in two days time. it was at this scan i found out there was no heartbeat. i was really shocked and upset and had to make decisions about surgery etc. i really wasn't expecting it as i thought i was safe after having the scan. i had the tiniest amount of spotting and no pain at all.

went for a ERPC last week which went fine - no pain afterwards and just a bit of spotting.

i am mainly having positive thoughts that it's just one of those things that happens and am hoping that next time will be better. i have booked a holiday for in a couple of months time, then will try again after that. i think that will take the pressure off me as i know i will be trying again soon but not straight away.

a small part of me has doubts that i will never get my baby but i try to push those thought out. i suppose it's only natural to feel like this.

it is also hard as a family member is having a baby at the same time i would have been due so i am avoiding them at the moment. my mum thinks i am being silly and should still be happy for them and see them and chat about their baby - she hasn't got a clue what it is like for me to be reminded about what i have not got anymore. it has only been just over a week since i got the bad news.

i will really struggle to listen to their stories about scans etc when it will just remind me of what i would have been doing. other friends are currently nearing their due date/had babies but that doesn't bother me as i can't relate to them as i din't get that far.

will keep trying to feel positive and keep my fingers crossed for the future.

thanks again to everyone who has contributed you have really helped me to see that things can and will work out.

Lauralou

Im sorry to read what you have been through pebblespop. Its such an awful thing to have to go through.

We all have thoughts that we will never have our baby but i truly believe we all one day will have a baby but for some reason we have to go through all this hearbreak to have a baby. It will really make us really appreciate our baby even more.

Of course you are going to find it hard re family member your only human.

If you ever mean a moan or just want a hug or advice everyone on here is really supportive.
HUGS

Juliegeorgina if your lurking When is your appointment?

SusanC_2

pebblespop wrote: »

it is also hard as a family member is having a baby at the same time i would have been due so i am avoiding them at the moment. my mum thinks i am being silly and should still be happy for them and see them and chat about their baby - she hasn't got a clue what it is like for me to be reminded about what i have not got anymore. it has only been just over a week since i got the bad news.

:grouphug:That must be incredibly hard for you. I'm sure you are still happy for them but that doesn't mean it isn't upsetting to see them with the very thing which you have lost.

ddebski_us

Pepplespop - I am so sorry to read your story. Bless you sweetheart.

Take all the time you need to grieve through this; I know I find important dates coming round (it should be my 20 week scan next week) but it must be even harder to have someone close who is due at the same time. Avoid them if it makes you feel better; no matter how bad your family member feels, she still has her baby and will get over you not being there right now. Put yourself and your recovery first.

We're all here if you need us.

Take care

xDx

SusanC_2

pebblespop wrote: »

still i saw the heartbeat and got a picture(they told me to wait till next time for the pic but i really wanted one - am now glad i got it).

BTW I'm glad you said this bit as I just got the reply to my complaint about my treatment when I had a miscarriage and although the majority of the reply is good they have completely ignored what I said about scan photos. I was wondering whether to pursue that particular point and you saying this has reassured me that it is worth pursuing.

pebblespop

thanks ladies!

i knew i wasn't being silly about the family member - it's actually my brothers teenage girlfriend which makes it worse as i am 30, married and in a good stable career. life isn't fair is it?!

i might pop into my mums house when i know they will be there this week and just stay for a short while. i will ignore any insensitive comments and get out of there as quick as i can without seeming too rude.

i would have been going for my nuchal scan today and probably would have only found out the bad news today... in a way i am glad it was all over already and i am trying to move on. i think it would be much worse the longer it went on.

i haven't had much bleeding after the ERPC, very minimal spotting which is still happening but should stop soon. then the wait for first AF. hope she doesn't keep me waiting too long. want to start tracking my cycles ready for starting ttc again after my holiday.

susan - i don't think the hospitals are bothered about the scan pics. they don't seem to treasure them like we do. they might still have a copy on file which you could have. the lady at EPU asked if i wanted a pic of the baby after the bad news but i didn't want this. they might keep a copy though.

Nephthys

Hi everyone, I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone on this thread. I suffered an MMC last November at 9 weeks. I was told it was a blighted ovum. At the moment I saw the screen I felt like my world was being pulled apart as I knew before the doctor even said anything.

I went for an Evac at 10 weeks after a second scan to confirm there was no hope. It was very quick and bleeding was like a period. I had my next period 4 weeks later. At the time I tried to take comfort in the fact that I was able to get pregnant after 2+ years of trying - Mother Nature had simply determined that my baby wasn't right for this world but my body didn't accept that. I know I didn't have the heartbreak of seeing a heartbeat on one scan and then being told it was gone but for me it still hurt. For 9 weeks I believed I was pregnant and I had all the dreams that we all have. Those dreams were taken away.

Peeblespop - like you I had a family member due at the same time as I would have been and I was caught between being heartbroken for us at what might have been and delighted for them asI knew how long they had been trying. I then discovered that one of my best friends was pregnant and also due at the same time - more mixed feelings. This year has been unreal for babies in my world - 3 family members and 2 very close friends (considered family by me) have all had babies.

This has been made easier by the fact that after my first period following my Evac I fell pregnant again and this time things were ok. I panicked throughout the whole pregnancy believing at every scan that I would be told that I had lost the baby. I panicked every time there wad little or no movement in my stomach and it wasn't until I held my son in my arms at the start of October that I started to believe it was real.

Throughout my pregnancy I had read every post on this board and come close to posting this but never had the courage. I didn't want to hurt anyone because i was already pregnant again as I know that it isn't easy (took us over 2 years the first time). However, I now want to thank everyone whose stories I have foillowed on this thread and others. It gave me the courage to try again and face the fear. I'm glad i did as I have a little boy who wouldn't be here if I hadn't gone through that.

It can and will happen and for me it was worth the heartache (although it didn't seem like it at the time). I have another family member suffer 3 miscarriages this year (as well as deal with 3 relatives all having babies) and she is still determined to try again. Don't give up that hope. Life can feel cruel but it can also feel wonderful. I now wouldn't swap what happened as I wouldn't have my son if I did.

I'm always willing to chat to anyone who wants a sympathetic ear and I have no problems with tears - I cried bucketloads!
You are not alone.

I'm sorry if this seems a bit rambling and schmaltzy - sometimes i know what I want to say but can't write it down.

I think about you all and sincerely hope your prayers and dreams are answered.

Nephthys