Miscarriage support

msb5262

carolineb23 wrote: »

It's been 4 months since my ectopic and I'm just not coping at all. We found out a couple of weeks ago that our friends (who only got married in December so can't have been trying long as she's 12 weeks) are expecting, and have been putting pressure on us to attend a party where they would be announcing the pregnancy. We have already said we can't go but they've asked us another 2 times if we're sure we can't just go for a bit. I am so furious with them, can't they see why it would be agonising for us? This is the first time one of my friends has announced a pregnancy since our loss, and I can't believe the feelings it's brought up. I am so angry that she can do it and I can't, that her baby deserves to live and ours didn't, that it should be me, that it's not her turn etc.... I think I've turned into a monster... there are so many more feelings and emotions I'm feeling now. Sorry for the rant I just really needed to let it out.

Poor you, Caroline. I remember feeling EXACTLY the same.

I felt furious and very hurt and sad when some friends of ours insisted on announcing she was pregnant about 2 months after I'd miscarried, and the announcement was made at the beginning of a long evening do at a hotel for Burns Night.

Luckily I was with a friend who'd just been told at the age of 32 that she had to have a hysterectomy (she'd completed her family but nonetheless was knocked for six by this) - we both felt terrible and we sloped off away from everyone else and sat in a different bar drinking gin.

The worst thing was feeling I'd turned into a monster.
I was full of rage and hatred, couldn't believe the other friends had done this to me and the other girl, and I didn't like seeing this side of myself at all.

Ironically the girl who announced her pregnancy that evening went on to have a missed miscarriage, and her OH claimed he had to work so I had to pick her up from the hospital when she was discharged. The girl who had the hysterectomy looked after my kids while I took the other one home from hospital, put her to bed, cleaned up her house, put the washing on etc. I felt almost as if I'd caused her to miscarry with my fury.

There is no moral to this story except it's normal to feel like this.
You need to feel like this until you don't feel like this any more.

I'm so sorry for you and please be assured that a) you are normal and b) everyone here will support you. If you can find a sympathetic ear in RL, do. If you're struggling, ask your GP for some counselling. It's just a rotten, miserable, hard time.

Love from MsB

Sequeena

Hi everyone, I'm going through my 2nd miscarriage and feel like giving up

QQuaver

I'm so sorry Sequeena (((hugs))).

gratefulforhelp_2

Hugs, sequeena.

babyboysmommy

Sequeena wrote: »

Hi everyone, I'm going through my 2nd miscarriage and feel like giving up

Glad you found us but so sorry that you needed to. I had a missed miscarriage, then DS, then 2 more miscarriages. It is a devistating thing to go through.

babyboysmommy

It's been almost 3 weeks now since my surgery. I'm physically back to 'normal' after the infection etc. It's been a really hard few weeks both physically & emotionally. We have an appointment at the fertility clinic in a few weeks not that I'm expecting them to be able to do anything as we had all of DH semen analysis results back & it's really not good, a miracle I got pregnant at all & to pull it off twice naturally (can't do IVF) is all but impossible. It's just added to the heartbreak of the recent miscarriage

Sequeena

So sorry for you babyboysmommy, please try and stay positive x

babyboysmommy wrote: »

Glad you found us but so sorry that you needed to. I had a missed miscarriage, then DS, then 2 more miscarriages. It is a devistating thing to go through.

Thank you. First miscarriage was around 3 weeks, so both have been early on. So thankful it wasn't later as I don't think I would have been able to cope

Just so fed up of this heartache. We've been ttc for 19 months now and I have nothing but tears to show for it.

QQuaver

babyboysmommy wrote: »

we had all of DH semen analysis results back & it's really not good, a miracle I got pregnant at all

(((Hugs babybowsmommy)))
How bad was your DH's SA?
Mine was 22% motility and 1% morphology.

babyboysmommy

QQuaver wrote: »

(((Hugs babybowsmommy)))
How bad was your DH's SA?
Mine was 22% motility and 1% morphology.

5% motility, I can't remember figures for the rest but I know it wasn't good.

QQuaver

babyboysmommy wrote: »

5% motility, I can't remember figures for the rest but I know it wasn't good.

(((Hugs))). I've been giving DH Brazil nuts, multi-vits and Vitamin E in the hope it'll help:o