Miscarriage support

gratefulforhelp_2

Hugs, neeny. Come on over to "trying for a baby" thread.

IWantToBeFree_2

Hi All

I found out last Friday that I had suffered a missed miscarriage at 11+2, it was our first baby and very gutting to begin to think that our baby had stopped developing after only a few weeks. The nurses at the EPU were lovely and gave us a lot of information on what happened next, and we decided to let events happen naturally, i'm not big on medical intervention and I didn't want to risk any kind of complications which may cause us problems when trying again in the future.

I didn't start bleeding until Sunday, and even then it was light, but I have been in absolute agony today, but still not really passed anything. The pain is killing me, and not knowing what to expect is even worse, I don't know if I can cope passing clots etc.... I am now starting to move towards having the hospitals help, even though I was dead set against it.

Does anyone have any words of reassurance about the medical proceedures, or can tell me just how bad it may get going it alone.

xx

galvanizersbaby

IWantToBeFree wrote: »

Hi All

I found out last Friday that I had suffered a missed miscarriage at 11+2, it was our first baby and very gutting to begin to think that our baby had stopped developing after only a few weeks. The nurses at the EPU were lovely and gave us a lot of information on what happened next, and we decided to let events happen naturally, i'm not big on medical intervention and I didn't want to risk any kind of complications which may cause us problems when trying again in the future.

I didn't start bleeding until Sunday, and even then it was light, but I have been in absolute agony today, but still not really passed anything. The pain is killing me, and not knowing what to expect is even worse, I don't know if I can cope passing clots etc.... I am now starting to move towards having the hospitals help, even though I was dead set against it.

Does anyone have any words of reassurance about the medical proceedures, or can tell me just how bad it may get going it alone.

xx

Hello hun

So sorry for your loss - I had the same scenario as you with my first baby and a subsequent pregnancy a couple of years ago.
I had the ERPC procedure with both missed miscarriages so I can't offer any advice re letting events happen naturally other than I was told that with a missed miscarriage your body is tricked in a way in to still retaining the pregnancy so I think it is hard to predict what to expect.

I can reassure you though on having an ERPC - please don't worry - you will have some bleeding afterwards but pretty much like a normal period.

I think you should go back to the clinic either way if you are in pain and worried - as you say the nurses there are lovely and you can discuss with them.

Off to bed now but please feel free to PM if you want to discuss.

Take care x

portsmouthali

Hello IWTBF, sorry you're here (IYSWIM)

I let it happen naturally both times (My EPU advised this as I'd already started bleeding, if this doesn't happen then they go down the ERPC route) My first mc was more painful as I was a couple of weeks further along, and although I was warned to expect some large clots, I still was quite shocked at what came out. It was quite a long process, about 10 days from when I first started spotting until it was all over, but the pain only got really bad on the last day. The second time was not as painful but I bled heavier, for longer (Sorry if TMI)

I don't have any personal experience of ERPC, but I do have a couple of friends who have had this and gone on to have trouble free pregnancies and healthy babies.

I would phone your EPU for advice if the pain gets too bad, don't suffer when you don't need to. So sorry you're going through this, I hope it doesn't last too much longer.

portsmouthali

Hugs to Neeny too, so sorry this has happened again. In many ways for me, the second time was mentally harder to deal with. I guess I really thought lightning wouldn't strike twice Best of luck with ttc, I'll be keeping everything crossed for you.

IWantToBeFree_2

Thanks for you kind words

Literally just after I posted that message, I was doubled up in agony passing lots of blood, when my husband came into the bathroom and thought I was having a wee rather than blood coming out, he was very alarmed n we ended up coming to the hospital.

They have removed a few clots and are keeping me in for observation. As there are no suitable rooms, they have made my hubby go home which was tough as it's hard to do this on my own

MERFE

I want to be free I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are alone at the moment. I hope OH is able to be with you again soon today. My first MC was also the worst pain wise as I was 10 weeks something, we too went to hospital as I was passing out from the pain but by the time I got to the hospital, the pain went and I passed a massive clot, we waited anyway since we were there but they were not worried since the pain had gone. I too had been sitting on the toilet with blood pouring out but I think it had slowed down by the time I got to hospital. I hope its all over for you soon and you can go home, massive hugs for you and OH xxx

portsmouthali

Thanks for keeping us updated IWTBF, as Merfe says hope you're not on you're own for much longer xx

carolineb23

It's been 4 months since my ectopic and I'm just not coping at all. We found out a couple of weeks ago that our friends (who only got married in December so can't have been trying long as she's 12 weeks) are expecting, and have been putting pressure on us to attend a party where they would be announcing the pregnancy. We have already said we can't go but they've asked us another 2 times if we're sure we can't just go for a bit. I am so furious with them, can't they see why it would be agonising for us? This is the first time one of my friends has announced a pregnancy since our loss, and I can't believe the feelings it's brought up. I am so angry that she can do it and I can't, that her baby deserves to live and ours didn't, that it should be me, that it's not her turn etc. I think I've turned into a monster. Another friend has gone to the doctors and lied about how long they've been trying so they can get help. She's a nurse so has been rushed through the system and is now on clomid even though they've only been trying since the end of October. They then came out and said that the way I felt when our other friend announced her pregnancy is the same as they felt when I announced mine! I was so hurt by that, I hope they never have to know what I've had to go through. They say this because we both started trying at the same time and I got pregnant after about 3/4 months and they didn't. How can they even compare the way they felt to the way I feel now. These are supposed to be our best friends. I'm not saying some of the feelings aren't the same but there are so many more feelings and emotions I'm feeling now. Sorry for the rant I just really needed to let it out.

hitchins

Oh Caroline don't apologise. So sorry you're feeling so sad, have you thought of counselling? And as for your friends, I doubt they mean any harm, some people just don't engage brain before opening their mouths, don't be pushed into anything you feel uncomfortable with i.e the party, you need to think of yourself at the moment. Good luck x