Miscarriage support

Metranil_Vavin

Thanks Fairy:)

I echo what you say about employers often being less than insensitive.

I had a nightmare with one particular girl in HR who the minute I came back to work (I only took 9 days off in total), was jumping on my back for doctors certificates, forms etc...

She then tried to start docking my pay as I'd 'exceeded my quota of sick days for the year' :mad:

It really was the last thing I needed and set me back again. I was in tears.

Her boss came and apologised personally to me after my manager kicked up hell. That particular girl is no longer working for my company. I don't think my case alone signed her P45, but a number of simillar gaffs on her part saw her on her way.

take as long as you need. It's not like having a cold..it's a physical and mental drain. I personally feel I came back too soon, but I also felt a sense of guilt at being away.

Be kind to youself XX

jimbms

I have to say that I think in my many years on way too many forums, this thread is one of the very few that not only has it brought back some painful memories but it has also restored some of my faith in the human race, even the usual lower species of the forum troll has managed to have the decency to refrain from commenting here and the amount of cross support by people is very touching and emotional and I think I can say a thanks to everyone on behalf of everyone. I have only one concern and that is that there are some men and women reading this who have gone through the same pain but yet cannot bring themselves to talk about it openly as many of us have here, to these I will say if you want to talk pm me and I am sure following this post others will also offer the same, don't suffer alone, many of us here will help all we can. If you happen to be a father and feeling that nobody cares or understands then please reach out we know how it feels.

gratefulforhelp_2

Hope you haven't tempted fate there, jim!

QQuaver

Thanks Jim:)

portsmouthali

What a lovely thing to say Jim. I wasn't sure what response (if any) I'd get when I started this thread, but it's given me so much comfort and I really hope it's done that same for others.

Enormous hugs to everyone xxxx

Amara

Yesterday, we had a barbecue at ours. My husbands's brother came with his friends... with little baby! I couldn't take it. I just have been avoiding them all evening. I asked my brother-in-law why he came with people with a baby,knowing, we just lost ours. He said "because he said (my DH)it'll be fine". My husband explained , yes, he let him to come with friends, but had no idea he'll decide to bring someone with baby. He apoloogised and had a word with his brother. It wasn'tmy husbands's fault. Some people could be more sensitive. "It" happened exacly month ago. Sad. Good news: my @ started yesterday, so I'm healing .

dizziblonde

I think I live in here now.

Three years of trying, three stones in weight lost (my weight was what seems to have been causing my infertility) and I got a positive in the middle of this week. Tested again this morning on a hunch something was wrong - now they're negative and the painters have just moved in downstairs.

I'm trying to mark Sats standardization papers while my head is a complete mess and there are babies everywhere on TV tonight - poor hubby keeps getting asked to flick the channel over (thankfully Jack Bauer doesn't appear to be surrounded by small bundles of joy... he'd probably stab them in the kneecaps with a spoon or something). While others have coffee breaks - I'm having bawl your eyes out breaks but I need to get through this because it's about a grand's worth of work that keeps us going through the summer.

Taking it very badly though - I wasn't coping at all well with the infertility to start with, thought our luck had all come in at once when we got the postive tests - and now all I've got of my hopes of motherhood, is a crappy blurred photo of a peed on clearblue digital test.

portsmouthali

So sorry dizziblonde. Life is so cruel. I know what you mean about babies everywhere, I have hidden loads of my facebook friends who are pregnant or have newborns - I just can't deal with seeing scan pictures or bumps. Sending you massive (((hugs)))

We have an 8 yr old, and OH wasn't keen on having any more. I talked him round though, and after trying for quite a while I eventually got pregnant again in August last year. 2 miscarriages later, and OH has pretty much decided it's not meant to be, and doesn't want to try anymore. As it happens, at the moment I couldn't bear the thought of another miscarriage so am happy to be having a break from ttc, but the thought of no more babies breaks my heart. I hope I can talk him round when the pain of the miscarriages fades My due date is in 5 days time and I'm not dealing with it well at all

msb5262

So sorry to see this news, dizziblonde.
It's clear that you need to try to keep going and get through the next few days on automatic pilot, if possible, but please remember that when you need understanding and sympathy, this thread is the place.
Of course RL understanding and sympathy are even better, but there's a time and a place for everything.

Also please don't give up hope for the future - it took my sister five years to conceive her first child, which eventually happened just as they got onto the IVF list. Someone else I know had the identical experience. Taking a long time doesn't mean it won't happen in the end for you.

Very best wishes - will be thinking of you

MsB

Amara

Sorry,dizziblond It's so hard. Big hugs to you