Miscarriage support

LittleMoog

I'm so sorry to hear your news mancmama. My experience was very similar, began bleeding at 10 weeks or so, but a scan showed baby had stopped developing at 5 weeks, and the sac had started to break down. My bleeding increased and I passed everything that day luckily, a scan a week later showed everything was gone so no further treatment needed.
I think it was probably one of the hardest things I've been through, be kind to yourself while it's still so raw, and don't be afraid to reach out to people for support. Sadly it's so common, you'd be surprised how many people have been through it.

For me, I wanted to try again immediately but we also have an older child and I didn't want the gap to get any bigger. We were lucky enough to fall in the same cycle as the mc and I feel it helped me move forward.

You may feel it helps to be back at work, I was only off for 3 days and a weekend, but looking back I wish I'd taken a bit longer xx

lulu_92

So sorry to see you here, mancmama

I felt exactly how you feel now. I wanted the world to stop because I wasn't ready for it to go again, but it never did. There was a weird expectation to get back to normal but it took me until I got pregnant again to feel better. I would have breakdowns on nights out and I was a horrible person for those 2-3 months. In all honestly I think if I hadn't have gotten pregnant again when I did I would still be like that. The rollercoaster ride of this pregnancy has been a distraction, although even now at 19 weeks I'm checking for bleeding and the slightest cramp fills me with dread.

You're never the same after a miscarriage, but OH and I made it change us for the better.

You'll start TTCing again when you're ready to. Don't let anyone else determine how you feel.

all the best xx

Gelly123

Oh Manc, I am so sorry but as you can see from the lovely posts above, you aren't alone and we are all thinking of you.

Yes, miscarriage happens but you never truly believe it will happen to you and then it does. The world feels like such a lonely place at the time as the support from friends and family disappears quickly but you have each other and as Lulu said, it brought us even closer together as it's something to go through together.

I can't say when it will get easier for you but I promise, it does, when the time is right for you both.

Am certainly thinking of you - with love and hugs
Gelly
x

MancMama4

Thank you all so much for the lovely messages of support. You've had me in tears here! But not sad tears, tears of hope and gratitude. You are all such strong powerful ladies. I love to hear of your success stories after mc so muffin thank you for sharing.


I spoke to my boss this morning and I'm taking a day off tomorrow ("sick") so I can rest and avoid the office Xmas party as I don't feel up to it. So I have a long weekend to get back on my feet as best I can.


The bleeding seems to have slowed quite a bit so hoping and praying when I go for my follow up scan on Tuesday that everything has passed... don't really fancy a d&c on xmas eve.


I agree about feeling closer than ever to my OH, I feel so lucky to have him right now.


Thank you all again for being so supportive it means so much x

MancMama4

Another week has rolled around and back in for scan tomorrow, the bleeding has slowed to almost brown spotting now (sorry tmi) so I'm desperately hoping the say everything has passed naturally tomorrow and I can move on with my life as best possible. Managed to get out at the weekend and see people and family, it was tough to act "normal" but to be honest I felt "normal", no symptoms of any kind now so hopefully the hormones are on their way as well. I'm tempted to take a test as I desperately want to see BFN (so weird as I wanted to see BFP so badly a few months ago) as I want to know everything has gone and we can try again...


I'm at work but mostly screen staring which seems to be fine by my boss - he has been great x

LittleMoog

Hope the scan shows everything is gone tomorrow Mancmama, fingers crossed. I just checked my FF record, and I see I got a negative test 12 days after mc started, at 8 days it was still positive. I then ovulated about 2 weeks after that (and happily fell pregnant with this little bundle!). Everyone is different, but once the hormones have dropped enough hopefully your cycle will kick back in xx

LittleMoog

The EDD of my lost baby is rapidly approaching (29th) and it's really casting a shadow over Christmas preparations for me I was so excited about the idea of another Christmas baby in the family (my birthday is Boxing day and my Grandma's was 27th December) that it feels like a constant reminder that this isn't the Christmas we were hoping to have. My best friend is also pregnant, due today, and I have this horrible feeling that her baby will come on 29th. She's not been the best at understanding how difficult her continuing pregnancy has been for me, despite obviously being very happy for her. I do feel like I'm dwelling on it a lot at the moment, hopefully future years will be easier. I also feel guilty for wanting the lost baby instead of the one I'm now carrying.

devildolly5

Mancmama, so sorry to hear what your going through. Its very raw at the moment. There is no right or wrong way to go through this, but you will find the way that works best for you and your OH in time. Big hugs.


Littlemoog, try not to feel guilty. mourning the baby that is lost does not mean you love this one any less. I feel for you with the due date coming up.


For me the due dates are not the hardest, but the dates I had the ERPC's are. The first one we found out was a MMC 2 days before Christmas, and we didn't tell anyone so had to play happy families until my ERPC on new years eve which is now a sad day for me. The next one we found out a few days before OH's birthday and I had the ERPC the day before his birthday which was hard as again, we didn't tell anyone so just had to pretend to get on with things.


My sister (only person who knows about the MMC's) announced her second pregnancy a couple of weeks after I told her about the second one which came out of the blue. I don't think (understandably) people who haven't been through one know how hard it can be to hear that news and I really struggled with it despite as you say littlemoog, you are happy for them. I think she gets it now as when she asked if we were super excited about finding out I was pregnant for the third time, I said no, we just looked at the positive test and said 'OK, what will be will be' and didn't talk about it really until the 12 week scan as we were prepping for bad news again.


Mancmama, hope your scan goes well.

MancMama4

Ladies you are both so strong and such an inspiration to me - thank you for sharing your stories. LittleMoog I hope you are able to enjoy Christmas as best you can, I think you are incredibly brave. devildolly to have gone through this twice you must be such a strong person, I can't imagine what that would be like... but then I never thought I would be here!


The scan wasn't as hoped - I have passed the embryo but not the sac yet... the options were wait it out naturally, be admitted for medical management for 8 hours tomorrow (not an option for me with work this week) or a d&c - but they can't fit that in until Jan - so I am going to wait it out for 2 weeks and go back on the 5th Jan - if everything still hasn't passed naturally then I will do the medical management that week.


The waiting goes on... I am feeling well though so hoping to enjoy Christmas with family and am trying to look to the future as best I can. Thank you for the support xx

MancMama4

Well its been 2 weeks and no change - I even stopped bleeding from Xmas Eve. Went back this morning and the sac was still there, still perfect, just empty. Heartbreaking.


I am being admitted for medical management tomorrow morning and then having the rest of the week off
work. Hoping then that the nightmare is almost over.


Love and hugs to anyone who has been through or is going through this xxx