Miscarriage support

LittleMoog

Not too bad thanks Lara. Was a bit tough last week as it should have been my 12w scan, and my friend who's pg with the same due date had her scan and announced at work etc (we work together).
Getting impatient to try again now and don't seem to have any signs of ovulating soon.

lulu_92

Oh betty that's wonderful news

I would have been 11 weeks yesterday and two people I know are 12 weeks so I can feel the pain

I have a question that Google hasn't found an answer for! After a miscarriage, if you get pregnant again how do the doctors treat you? do you get treated like it never happened or do you get more reassurance?

Gelly123

Hi Lulu,
So sorry you find yourself on this thread.

I'm afraid it can depend on the area but from our experience, there was no extra help or support in the following pregnancies after the first or second miscarriages hence why we took our own actions and instigated private tests in November. Fell pregnant for a third time in December and were due to be consultant led but had an early scan at 7 weeks which showed bad news again.

After the ERPC in January, we were finally referred for tests on the NHS but it wasn't much - just a DNA blood test each as we'd paid privately in November for the other ones.

We felt that we'd slipped through the NHS net as all tests showed normal/ok so there hasn't been anything they can do for us - so frustrating.

Wishing you lots of love and luck for the future.
Gelly
X

Lara44

So sorry you had that experience LittleMoog. We had the same and it was excruciating. I hope you find your cycle kicks in soon.

Lulu we were able to access an early scan but it does seem very random between trusts. Our trust is actually in special measures but we still had great care. I'm so sorry you haven't been offered the same standard of care Gelly, that is very disappointing. I see your wonderful news and I am crossing all my fingers and all my toes and my eyebrows and everything for you.

Hugs hugs hugs x

LittleMoog

Lulu, the nurse at our EPAU said they would offer me an early scan at ~7 weeks next time, just need to ask GP to refer me. Not sure if that was because this was a missed miscarriage or if they always offer it.

sweaty_betty

Thanks all, just hanging in there at the moment. Have been signed off sick by the consultant to give me some breathing space.

In terms of future pregnancies, as others have said, it depends where you are. One friend had a 12w mmc and was told by the community midwife that the EPU at the hospital would offer her an early scan (6-8 weeks) then reassurance scans whenever she needed them, up to 16 weeks. This is a nearby hospital, but a different hospital to the one she gave birth at (the other hospital maternity ward closed).

I was offered blood tests after 3 miscarriages/losses. After my 4th I was referred to a senior consultant who specialised in recurrent miscarriages.

Thinking of you all.

lulu_92

Hope everyone is feeling okay today

Moog and Gelly how are things going?

AF arrived on Saturday, 35 days since I started to m/c and exactly 6 weeks after our scan. TTC is going to resume as normal this month.

Honestly, I feel terrible in myself.
- My body is covered in stretch marks. I've always had them on the tops of my legs but now they're on my inner thighs, hips, stomach (like I've had a baby!), arms and boobs! They're so ugly so body confidence is at 0%.
- I still need to lose weight. A lot of it. I just feel rubbish in myself. The desire to lose weight and go to the gym is there but the execution isn't.
- When I was pregnant my spots disappeared and now they're back with a vengeance. They're on the tops of my arms, my legs, my back, my boobs, and I have two painful ones on either side of my neck!
- I have cankles! Well, one of my ankles looks swollen all of the time.
- My hair is independent from my head so never does what I want it to. If I straighten it my hair will be wavy again in 10 minutes.
- The angry spots on my face won't go away. My complexion is now terrible but I don't want to start covering it with make-up and making it worse.
- I need to stop biting my nails but I do it when I'm emotional.

And although I have amazing friends and family nobody in my office chooses to interact with me. I am alone pretty much all of the time I'm not in the house (and then dependent on OH's working, I'm alone then, too), I have to eat lunch alone as nobody is interested in me. I had three days off to cope with the m/c and only one person noticed I had gone.

I feel so worthless lately.

LittleMoog

Sorry you're feeling so down Lulu my skin is dreadful too, and I've put on loads of weight. Was planning to go back to the gym this week but not happened yet.

Can you arrange some nights with friends/family when OH is working so you get a bit of company and fun? X

pinkshoes

lulu_92 wrote: »

I have a question that Google hasn't found an answer for! After a miscarriage, if you get pregnant again how do the doctors treat you? do you get treated like it never happened or do you get more reassurance?

it depends on where you live.

I have had two MMCs at 12 then 9 weeks. I am now 11 weeks and although the doc requested an early scan (mainly due to my dates being a little unsure due to last MMC), I didn't get one. I am terrified that my 12 week scan will show no HB again. No idea how I will cope.

I am in Oxfordshire, and will get "observed more" if I have a third miscarriage. no idea what that means though!

IamJen

Oh, I've been reading this thread and glad my tissues are nearby. I came originally on the site to read about maternity exemption wrt miscarriage. We went for 12 weeks scan only to find the baby had died just maybe 3 days before. I've been for a second scan since then as there's been no progress as far as bleeding, etc. Waiting out this week as we are all sick, and husband is scheduled to go on a business trip for a couple of days, so not wanting to start anything intentionally.

I have a dental appt coming up and am unsure if I can use my maternity exemption card (which arrived the very day we had the first scan..talk about the universe messing with your head) or if this is some sort of fraud. I'm still pregnant, but obviously, no baby is coming from this pregnancy.

@pinkshoes, I have to admit that I post-stalked you a bit after reading your message above about waiting for the 12 week scan. I too, was referred by my GP for an early scan, in Oxfordshire, but was refused. We paid for a private scan, saw a great heartbeat, then after weeks of food aversions and nighttime trips to the bathroom, found ourselves heartbroken. I was glad to see you posting in the pregnancy threads!