Miscarriage support

Miss_Imaginative

Oh Betty, like Gelly I was hoping you weren't here for you. I'm so sorry, you're in my thoughts.

Feeling very solemn this evening with all the posts on social networks for the Wave of Light for Baby Loss Awareness Day. Thinking of everyone and all our angels even more than usual today.

Mrs_I x

Lara44

I'm so sorry Betty (((((Huge hugs))))))

lucyvdb7

Thought I'd come and join in... I was following the less than 12 weeks pg thread, and then had my dating scan at 12+3 (2 weeks ago), only to find that the baby had died at 7 weeks gestation. Not a single shred of a clue, I'd felt more pregnant this time than either of the 2 pregnancies I carried to term... the placenta was obviously a good one, and my body was obviously enjoying the idea of being pregnant. I finally got an ERPC done a few days ago, but I think the emotional recovery will be ages. It's hard when you feel so pregnant, and got to the all important 12 week mark with no bad things happening, and then to have the rug pulled from under your feet... bit harsh. And to think, my thick body could've carried on with the pregnancy act for who knows how long. And so many unanswered questions... not that anyone can answer them anyway I guess.
Just thought I'd let off some steam, people get fed up of being sympathetic! Though incidentally I feel far worse 'postnatally' now than I did after either my em c/s or VBAC deliveries.

Gelly123

Lucyvdb7 - so sorry to see you on the board - big hugs to you and your OH x

Please don't ever feel like you are alone - sadly MC's happen far too often but it still hurts like crazy for weeks, months and sometimes years afterwards.

We went through similar this year with our first MC when we found out at a scan that the pregnancy had ended 2-3 weeks before - people are sympathetic for a while but it only lasts for so long and then they act like nothing happened whereas for us, it affects our lives every single day without fail. I think only people that have been through it truly understand how difficult it is.

There's a few of us on this board who often lurk and are always here to support anybody who needs it.

Thinking of you and your OH - be kind to yourself and each other.

Gelly x

sweaty_betty

So sorry Lucy - it's just horrible. Fwiw I also had more nausea etc than I've had previously in my recent miscarriage (in fact it's only just gone, 10 days since my miscarriage started), it's just cruel.

All I can advise is for you to take some time, allow yourself to get upset if you need to. We're here if you need to talk.


As for me - thanks for all the messages, I really appreciate each and every one. I have my (hopefully) final scan this week to double check that the miscarriage is complete and a referral to a clinic that reviews recurrent miscarriage the following week. I've been advised to take a ttc break - this time I think I'll actually do that. I took last week off work sick and today was my first day back - I was dreading it, but it was fine. It's good to be back into some sort of routine.

Kira000

Hi ladies.
I've made my way over from the -12weeks board. I had an unexpected complete m/c at home last Sat/Sun at 12weeks. U/S at EPAU on the Monday confirmed no trace at all of the pregnancy, and bloodtests went from HCG 1321 on Mon to 340 on Weds, so hospital are happy that it is all over and no ectopic.

I dont know if anyone here would know, and i hope people dont mind the question, but the 1321 seems a really low HCG level. Would the HCG level stay at the level it reached when a pregnancy stops growing (which would indicate i didnt actually get past 6-7weeks), or does it drop as soon as the pregnancy stops growing, in which case the m/c could have been fairly soon after it ended?

Not surprisingly i've been feeling all over the place, but mainly i can feel myself getting a bit obsessive about possible causes and what i can do for next time. Vitamins, fertility teas etc etc. Because i never got to have a scan, and there was nothing left to see, the Drs couldnt give me ANY info or ideas about what happened or when. I had a feeling about 2 weeks ago that something wasn't right but i hoped i was just being paranoid, so who knows.
I've been to see an accupuncturist this week to try and get myself back to balance, which i think has helped me feel like i am *doing* something.

Anyway, sorry for that download of my brain.

devildolly5

Hi Kira,

Sorry I can't answer your question re hcg, but just wanted to say sorry you are here. I saw your posts on the 12 week thread. I was lurking after I found out about my second loss last week. I am just recovering from the ERPC.

I know what you mean re finding a cause. Both my losses were identical (few symptoms, no heartbeat at scan around 9 weeks, both didn't make it past 8.5 weeks) and I can't get my head around the fact that might just be bad luck.

My next move is to push for thyroid and gluten intolerance tests as I suspected these might be a problem even before I knew I was pregnant the second time and these can cause miscarriages.

I hope the acupuncture helps with a reset. I might look into this as I have heard this may help.

Sorry I can't be much help, but just wanted to let you know your not alone in your thoughts. My advice is to not blame yourself. It took (and is taking) me time to realise i couldn't change what happened.

And never apologise for brain dumping.....that's what this thread is for.

Kira000

Thanks Devildolly.
I'm sorry you are in this position for the 2nd time. I saw you leave the 12wk thread at about the same time.

re:the acupuncture, I'm lucky that the woman i found is an acupuncture fertility expert, affiliated to Zita West (also a fertility expert) and is really close by. She recommended (read "instructed" LOL) that i dissolve one teaspoon of black treacle in hot water and drink it, every day until my first cycle ends. It helps renew iron levels, and heats up the uterus to stimulate blod flow to the area. I have to say it does seem to be helping. It is very sweet, but is going down better than floridex and spatone! Maybe worth a try to help your recovery from the ERPC?

I'm kind of OK with the not blaming myself thing, but i am just feeling relentless about what i can try to do to avoid it happening again. I have a feeling it may be clotting related, so am going to ask the GP on Monday if i am ok taking a baby asprin until conception.

ttc39

Sorry to hear of the recent losses ladies xx

I'm so upset at moment as my 2 nd lost baby was due next week and a lady I know has just given birth to her baby girl, feeling so hurt that it should've been me with a baby and I'm being such a cow to my husband as he doesn't seem to get just how low I am feeling :-(

I coped better with the 1st loss than the 2nd, I think about it every day and have just had a near on 60 day cycle whereby I had convinced myself I was pregnant even though tests said no, but now I'm hoping I might get lucky again, although how can u ever be glad when u are again after a loss or losses , as that excitement will never be the same again ...

Really not sure how I'd cope if I had another loss :-(. But still wants to try I guess .. Just fed up with feeling low and being miserable , hoping after next week has passed I might feel a bit better

Big hugs to all of you x

sweaty_betty

Hello all - kira and devil dolly, so sorry you're here.
Kira - from what I understand you're right and your hormone levels were low compared to the expected levels. I wouldn't be surprised if the level is determined by the stage at which the pregnancy stopped progressing, in my case my levels were tested at 6-7 weeks and were the levels you'd expect at 5 weeks. Scan showed the pregnancy stopped developing at 5 weeks.

Either way, hope you're both getting plenty of real life support and being kind to yourselves.

Ttc - sorry you're not having a great time. Anniversaries are so hard.

I have a scan tmw as the last one showed the miscarriage was incomplete. Will be pleased when it's all over and done with. Had an appointment with recurrent miscarriage clinic, which was really positive and now have an action plan for if/when I get pregnant again.