Miscarriage support

any_name_will_suffice

Mrs_T_M wrote: »

Not odd at all! I actually think it's a wonderful way to remember them.

I feel that the more we talk about this, especially to others, the less of a taboo subject miscarriage becomes. It is, unfortunately, very common, and other women and those who haven't experienced it need to be taught that if it happens, it isn't their fault and most especially, they aren't alone.

There is no 'right' way to grieve, nor should anyone ever attempt to put a time limit on it.

Hi,

I hope you don't mind, I still lurk on this thread from time to time.

Mrs_T_M, I completely agree with this, miscarriage is such a taboo subject and I think so many women suffer in silence because they don't feel able to talk about their grief.

After my first mmc in July 2012, my OH kept my hospital wristband from my erpc, because he said he had nothing else to remember "pie" with (as in, "who ate all the pies" because of my bloated waistline).
That was the darkest period of my life, and after the second mmc in
november, OH and I went through a really hard patch. We stopped trying for a while just to take the pressure off, but I really thought he would leave me, I was awful to him. We were very very guarded the whole way through this pregnancy, and we never dared to talk about the future until baby was actually safely born.

In August 2012 I was a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding, and it was so hard to pull myself together. A mutual friend congratulated me on my pregnancy outside the Church, and the photographer managed to capture the exact moment I explained I had miscarried. I sobbed when I saw that photo.

Huge huge hugs to all those of you who are struggling, it does gradually get less painful with time, but it's a long road x

Any name

samtoby

Thank you everyone. I have ordered a keepsake in which the scan will be used. I am going to put it in our room. It will be perfect not too much but something. We do have a rose bush - but seriously I can't plant in in the ground as our garden is a complete mess. Its full of wood at the moment for the winter for our woodburner.


Hugs to those who need them. xx

emmaj30

Okay this is a really silly question but I am due to go the fertility doctor in 10 days to talk about the next step and what happened with the mmc! Does anyone know if they will be able to tell me if the foetus was a boy or girl? it was only 8 weeks...


thanks in advance

wendz86

Emma - I think they could have done some testing but I think you have to ask them to it before. I don't think they do it as standard (correct me someone if I am wrong). Not sure how early they can test though as well.

Mrs_T_M

emmaj30 wrote: »

Okay this is a really silly question but I am due to go the fertility doctor in 10 days to talk about the next step and what happened with the mmc! Does anyone know if they will be able to tell me if the foetus was a boy or girl? it was only 8 weeks...


thanks in advance

If they are doing any genetic testing on the baby, then they should be able to tell. If not, I'm afraid at that gestation, there's no other way to tell, just because the little one is so tiny. We lost Dale at 20 weeks and we still got mixed up with her gender! The midwives refused to take a guess (and I understand why), so we looked, guessed, and when the genetic results came in, we were shocked that she was a girl.

girlatplay

Hi everyone

I hope you don't mind me just stumbling in here unannounced. I don't normally visit this area of the forums.

When I wrote the date on a cheque at work this morning I right away realised that it is 15 years to the day that I had my m/c. 8/9/99. I was 14 weeks and 2 days. All had been great at my 12 week scan so nothing prepared me for it. I was devastated.

I realise now that things happen for a reason and it allowed me to have my beautiful, wonderful daughter (Little Miss Gap age 14 next month), without whom, I don't know if I would still be on this earth myself.

I don't know why today seems to have affected me more than it does any other year. Normally I have a short "memory moment" in the morning and then leave it alone. I don't want to talk to anyone IRL about it today so when I saw this thread I just felt I needed to post. I don't know anyone IRL who has been through what I went through so although everyone is sympathetic (if it happens to come up), they just don't understand. I don't mind talking about it but it's not something that people discuss in every day conversation.

Sorry, I just felt a wave of lonliness for a minute.

Big hugs to you all.

gap xx

Gelly123

Hi girlatplay, you certainly aren't alone and need never feel that way.

Sorry to hear you feel lonely but I can assure you, you're not and many of us on this forum are in the same boat - certain dates, times, memories can trigger a personal moment and some tears but we are here to support each other at these difficult times.

So glad to hear you went on to have Little Miss Gap too - gives us all hope for the future.

Hope reading this message makes you smile a little - we're here for you.

Gelly
x

girlatplay

Thanks so much for replying Gelly.

Like I say, I have no idea why today should be any different from any other year, it just is.

I have subscribed to the thread and I will keep popping back. I am more than happy to "chat" about my experiences if I can be of any support to anyone else.

Just.........thank you.

x

emmaj30

Thanks for your suggestions. I guess I will have to ask the consultant next week

pinkshoes

Hello!

I was supposed to have an early scan as my last AF involved 6 days of spotting, then bleed, so the doc thought i may have been PG from the month before. At 10 weeks i got bored of waiting, so booked a private scan which showed an empty gestation sac.

I then went to the EPU today where they did another scan (and seemed somewhat surprised i didnt have an early one) where again (unsurprisingly) they found an empty gestation sack.

I asked for it to be removed surgically, but was told that the NHS procedure requires me to return in another week to have a second scan before they'll make the decision. Thankfully they agreed a compromise on the basis that we know what the scan will show, so have alfrady booked me in next Wed (day after 2nd scan) to have remaining tissue removed under general anaesthetic.

I'm finding all this waiting awful. I just want my body to start returning to normal.