Miscarriage support

QQuaver

MV, it's good to know other people have problems conceiving, it's just that they don't tell you.

I've since found out one of my aunt had mc of her first baby, but had 2 healthy children afterwards, another aunt lost a baby then divorced so ended up childless, and another aunt took years to conceive but ended up with a healthy baby girl, grandmother had mc before having mum etc etc. Even my mum had mc before having me, but I knew that already;) (Do you think mc is hereditary?:lipsrseal)

Metranil_Vavin

I dont think mc is hereditary..at least I've never read anything about that.

Mind you my mum had a mc sometime in the early 70's before I was born, and apparently when she was preg with me, at my Aunties wedding at which my mum was a bridesmaid, she began bleeding heavily and thought she was going to mc again :eek:

So I was causing my parents trouble even from the womb!

Lauralou

Hi just popping back on to say sorry and hugs to GFH and to everyone else who have sadly joined here.

Also, mv you will have bad days, its too be expected. some days you will feel like you are getting better and 'moving' on then suddenly you will feel crap, i think its just apart off 'griefing'.
I think we don't realise how common mcs are untill you start TTC or have experienced one yourself.

spendaholiceejit

Hi ladies, I am sending you all hugs today. xxx

msb5262

Hello all,
Hope GFH and Shelley are doing ok - how horrible for you both. We are all in sympathy with you so don't feel too alone.
Must agree with posts above mentioning how many people turn out to have had trouble conceiving - what I don't understand is why it's such a secret.
Likewise when you tell people you've miscarried, suddenly everyone's saying it happened to them too.
If it wasn't kept so dark, couples who've lost a baby might not feel so isolated and "weird" compared to everyone else.
I'm not suggesting that everyone should announce to the general public that they're trying for a baby, just think some honesty and openness might be helpful all round.
Most couples DON'T conceive instantly, and that's why it's commented on when they do.
Similarly if early pregnancy loss statistics are to be believed, most women will have suffered a miscarriage at some point in their lives yet it's rarely mentioned.
Very much an attitude of "sweeping it under the carpet" - doesn't do much for anyone's emotional wellbeing.
Sorry for droning on...best wishes to everyone, hope you can get through the day ok. It is really one day at a time.
MsB x

gratefulforhelp_2

QQuaver wrote: »

Hat's off to both of you, I didn't realise I had it easy with erpc...:o

I don't think that you did, for a minute. I would still rather do this than have a general anaesthetic.

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

Glad you are nearly at the end of your ordeal hon x
My boss just called me into his office for a chat about work stuff, and ended up asking me how I was doing, and that he was concious of people having baby chats around my dest often (he's the one who has just had the baby).

Ha! Think I spoke to soon my parents came round for a pitch invasion, which was bloody insensitive I think, they wouldn't go away and TMI alert-had a massive bleed all over the place, bathroom carpet ruined and so am parked in here as saves ruining any others. Now I want to move house to get away from them. eta the parents, not the carpets :rotfl:

MV you can't blame him for going on about it if they tried for three years, but maybe now he'll get the others to be more sensitive? Hope so.

Thanks for the good wishes, guys.

FairyShazza

My midwife told me at my booking appointment that if your mum had more than three miscarriages you are at risk of experiencing mc yourself. Thats one of the reason why they ask if there are recurrent mc's in your family at your booking in appointment usually.

I agree that it is amazing how many people 'come out' when you tell them you have had a mc. It is almost like a dirty secret which people think they need to hide - I know that I felt the same but then realised it was not my fault and nothing I could've done would've changed it so why do I feel like that. I don't think it helps as a lot of people decide not to tell anyone until after that first scan so if something does happen they have very little or no support other than their partner.

I was the same I didn't want to tell anyone till after our scan but my OH said that if anything did happen we would need people to support us. In the end we had told a few people about our pregnancy, not many but enough that when the worst did happen we had people there for us which I am so glad we had looking back now. It would've been harder trying to cope just between me and my OH I think.

gratefulforhelp_2

Been to hosp, guess what they do in Devon when you've lost loads of blood? You've got it! Take some more!!!

Reckon i could get really drunk easily tonight with my decreased blood volume?

BatCat

Hi Folks,
Really sorry you're going through all this.
I had a missed mc in February 2006 and felt like the world had ended. We now have two healthy boys (though I took low dose aspirin as a paranoid precaution with the second pregnancy). There is a happy ending out there.
BatCat

gratefulforhelp_2

Thats lovely, Batcat and kind of you to share your story. Kiss those lovely children for me.