Miscarriage support

sweaty_betty

So sorry gelly.


AFM - I discovered I was pregnant again a couple of weeks ago, but went for a scan which showed that I was either only 5 weeks or the pregnancy wasn't progressing. 3-4 days later I started spotting and still am 2 days later. I'm in limbo as expecting to get a proper bleed at some point to confirm the miscarriage but still hanging on to the very slight hope that maybe not. I'm back at hospital on Thursday so will discuss the situation then, but I hate this not knowing.

please-let-me-be-lucky

I'm sorry to hear that Sweaty Betty. You deserve some good news and I'll keep everything crossed for you Xx

skintchick

Big hugs Betty xxxx

Miss_Imaginative

Big hugs sweaty betty. I have everything crossed you have good news on Thursday.

Mrs_I x

Frankieloo

I'm sorry to see your news Gelly - you sound super strong during this difficult time. Hugs.

Sweaty Betty - thinking of you and hoping for some good news.

AFM - feeling really sad at the moment. It's a week since we had to say goodbye to our little one at nearly 15 weeks and I just don't know how to get past it. I so desperately want to be a mum but I just don't know if I can face going through it all again. I know it's soon but I can't see this fear of having the same happen again as ever leaving.

Miss_Imaginative

Frankieloo wrote: »

AFM - feeling really sad at the moment. It's a week since we had to say goodbye to our little one at nearly 15 weeks and I just don't know how to get past it. I so desperately want to be a mum but I just don't know if I can face going through it all again. I know it's soon but I can't see this fear of having the same happen again as ever leaving.

Oh, Frankieloo. *big hugs* Take the time to be sad, let the tears flow and cuddle your OH - this is the time for doing your grieving. If you feel like crying, do it, don't hide it. Like you, I didn't know how on earth I was going to get past losing Thomas either during those first couple of weeks. It seems like you're in a bubble and you just can't see how to move forward and feel like you'll be in this impossible place forever. But it will come in time, I promise. I didn't believe others either when they told me this, but it really does happen and you do start to slowly move forwards. Have you held a funeral/memorial service for your little one? Do your hospital hold regular services for those who have had miscarriages? It might help give you some closure and be able to move forward.

I'm nearly two months on from losing our little boy at 20 weeks, and at first I had the exact same fear as you did about it happening again and whether I could go through it all again. I still do to some extent to be honest, but it's not as raw as it was, and my bereavement midwife says the fear will never quite leave. It is still very very early days for you.

Do your hospital have a bereavement/specialist midwife who supported you when you had the miscarriage? If you did, it may be worth requesting an appointment with them or enquiring to see if there is someone you can talk to and talk everything through with. Have the hospital said they would provide support for you during a future pregnancy? Any additional tests they can do? I'm trying to think of things to try and put your mind at ease.

Thinking of you, Frankie, we're all here if you need.

Mrs_I

skintchick

For me the only thing that has helped is time. Grief is a powerful emotion and it is OK to let it wash over you. Do what you haave to do to remember and heal. xxx

Lara44

Thinking of you both Betty and Frankie xx

Frankieloo

Miss_Imaginative wrote: »

Oh, Frankieloo. *big hugs* Take the time to be sad, let the tears flow and cuddle your OH - this is the time for doing your grieving. If you feel like crying, do it, don't hide it. Like you, I didn't know how on earth I was going to get past losing Thomas either during those first couple of weeks. It seems like you're in a bubble and you just can't see how to move forward and feel like you'll be in this impossible place forever. But it will come in time, I promise. I didn't believe others either when they told me this, but it really does happen and you do start to slowly move forwards. Have you held a funeral/memorial service for your little one? Do your hospital hold regular services for those who have had miscarriages? It might help give you some closure and be able to move forward.

I'm nearly two months on from losing our little boy at 20 weeks, and at first I had the exact same fear as you did about it happening again and whether I could go through it all again. I still do to some extent to be honest, but it's not as raw as it was, and my bereavement midwife says the fear will never quite leave. It is still very very early days for you.

Do your hospital have a bereavement/specialist midwife who supported you when you had the miscarriage? If you did, it may be worth requesting an appointment with them or enquiring to see if there is someone you can talk to and talk everything through with. Have the hospital said they would provide support for you during a future pregnancy? Any additional tests they can do? I'm trying to think of things to try and put your mind at ease.

Thinking of you, Frankie, we're all here if you need.

Mrs_I

Sorry for your loss. It's just so unfair.

I was given the number of the bereavement midwife at the hospital but have struggled to call so far.

It was a little different for us as we were told that our baby had abnormalities that would mean it wouldn't survive so rather than mis carrying we chose to end the pregnancy although it wasn't really a choice - I couldn't bear the thought of just waiting for the little one to die inside me. So we know what the problem was and the risks to future pregnancy and any tests they can perform can only be done from 12 weeks anyway. The nightmare could easily happen again - we've defied the odds once! So scared and don't think I could stand the wait to see if everything was ok let alone dealing with anything being wrong. But I just want a baby in my arms.

Our little one is bring cremated on Tuesday and ashes are being scattered in a garden for lost babies. I'm hoping that day will bring some relief to move on a bit.

Sorry for the ramble and thanks for your messages xx

sweaty_betty

skintchick wrote: »

For me the only thing that has helped is time. Grief is a powerful emotion and it is OK to let it wash over you. Do what you haave to do to remember and heal. xxx

This is so true.

Thanks all