Miscarriage support

msb5262

Frankieloo - I'm so sorry, what a horrible situation to be in. Lack of certainty at this point makes everything really difficult; you can't start to deal with something when you're not sure exactly what's happening. I remember having a potential problem spotted at a scan many years ago and being told to come back two weeks later for a re-scan: as it happened, all was well but I didn't know what to do with myself for that two weeks. It seemed like a cruel joke to have pregnancy symptoms when there was a question mark over the future of the pregnancy, and my (then) OH didn't know how to start to handle it any more than I did. Please keep posting here, you may well find that someone comes along who has been through what you are currently experiencing. Meanwhile try to look after yourself...I would say relax but we all know that's impossible at the moment. Whatever happens you will have support and understanding here.
Very best wishes
MsB x

Miss-L

Frankieloo- I know what a nightmare situation this is for you. After my waters broke at 18 +2 I was asked to make a decision regarding continuing my pregnancy. Have you been given immediate referral to a fetal medicine consultant who can give you a more detailed scan and prognosis? They are the people you need to talk to. Would aminocentsis or cvs give you more info?
I just prayed everything would work out but my little girl was taken from me At 19+6 without me having to make that decision. It was heartbreaking but made a bit easier because the decision was made for me.
You become a mum from the moment you get pregnant and do everything you can for your baby. They come first and all decisions must be made considering baby's best interests first and foremost. That doesn't stop you fighting for them though.

I went to a service for my baby on Thursday. I will write about that later

I am sorry for you because this is not a situation anyone should be in

Lara44

Thinking of you Miss-L and Frankieloo. I hope that you get positive news Frankie, horrendous to wait though. (((((Hugest of hugs))))) xxx

Miss_Imaginative

Gelly123 wrote: »

Miss I - thinking of you and your OH today - much love xxx

Thank you, Gelly. The funeral on Friday went as well as these things can - indescribably hard for all of us, but the chaplain led a beautiful service and it was a touching goodbye for Thomas. We will be getting his ashes back on the 27th. Hubby has gone back to work today on a phased return (working mornings only), but I genuinely don't know whether I am ready to return to work. I am going in for a visit on Wednesday afternoon (if I feel up to it on the day), so we will see how I fare with that.

Frankieloo, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope your scans and tests today bring you and your hubby some much-needed answers and (fingers crossed) positive news. Thinking of you. x

Miss-L, I hope your service on Thursday went as well as it could do. We're here for you if you need. x

Mrs I

skintchick

Big hugs to everyone on here xxxx

I just found out about an online support group for dads which I thought might be useful to partners on here. It's at https://www.facebook.com/17dads and is apparently run by dads so it should be a nice place to get support for our partners?

Lara44

Glad to hear things went as well as possible Miss_I. I'm so glad it was a meaningful way to mark Thomas' important life. Sending big hugs to you xxx

Hoping that today okay Frankie, hugs too xxx

Miss-L

Miss-L, I really hope the worst is over now too. It's been over a week since my surgery and I do feel so much better, so fingers crossed we're past the worst. The hospital have been absolutely superb, cannot fault their treatment in the slightest. Family have also been wonderful, despite the physical distance between us. I hope the memorial service for Jemima goes as well as it can do.


Thankyou. The memorial service was last week and it was beautiful, set in a woodland burial park, which is well maintained but established woodland filled with native flowers. The service was held by the hospital chaplain who had previously blessed our baby girl after she was delivered. The chaplain talked about our precious babies being similar to bubbles - a symbol of joy but unable to hold and keep for long. We then went outside to the burial site where a bubble machine was blowing bubbles out into the dappled sunlight in the woodland.

We were given bubbles and charms as keepsakes which I have carefully stored in the memory box the hospital gave me containing the clothes Jemima was dressed in, her photos, hand and foot prints...

The memorial service was for all babies who had died at the hospital and is held 3 times per year but there was only us and one other Mum there.

I was offered an individual burial or cremation but because my first miscarried baby (August 2013, at 11+4) was buried at the woodland site with the other babies I chose for Jemima to be buried this way too. I'm not able to look after my baby so I didn't want her to be buried alone.

I have to take comfort from the fact that my babies were treated with such care and are buried somewhere so beautiful with the sunlight to warm the ground where they sleep - but I still miss them every day.

msb5262

Miss-L, that is a very touching and beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it. Sending you lots of love xxx

Frankieloo

Miss L I agree that is a beautiful post. Sending you thoughts and hugs.

Unfortunately we found out the worst yesterday that our baby is too poorly to survive. Will be having an induced miscarriage this weekend.

I hope I can be as strong and brave as you ladies.

Thank you for all your messages of support since I posted last. My thoughts are also all with you and your angels xx

msb5262

Dear Frankieloo, I'm so sorry. What an awful thing to happen. Please accept my sincere condolences and best wishes - and I'll be thinking of you, your OH and your much-wanted baby.
Love from MsB xxx