Miscarriage support

claire16c

Mrs_T_M wrote: »

Different people grieve different ways. For me, I absolutely MUST stay busy. Plus all I really did for the bread was dump stuff into the bread maker.

One of the lines that I've written in today's journal entry is 'We want to try for another baby as soon as we can, but not as a replacement for Dale. He was and is our baby, our first-born, and he always will be.'

When we do have more babies, I want each of them to have a baby book the same kind as Dales, it's the one that's based on the 'Guess how much I love you' book.

Very true. I'm the complete opposite. You know how some people like to go back to work etc to stay busy? That's my idea of a nightmare. Id much rather be like you/that though.

Those books are lovely.

samtoby

claire16c wrote: »

I don't know but I do think sometimes drs leap to thyroid problems for tut cause of so many things.

After my mc I was paranoid I had something wrong with me - so I asked the dr after the op what she thought about my irregular periods.

She said it was likely because I was underweight, exercising too much or could have an over active thyroid.

No - I'm naturally thin, take after my Dad, I barely exercise at all and I got my thyroid tested and it was normal. Yet her comments made me feel paranoid about the thyroid thing (I knew she was talking rubbish about my weight it's not like I'm a closet anorexic or something).

I think for me irregular periods are just normal and my gp agreed with me & said there are probably more women with irregular than regular.

Obviously if you've had a test result back though and it's worried you in terms of the anti bodies as the other results are in the normal range, I don't see why you shouldn't talk to your dr.

Plus you could ask for a repeat thyroid test? I'm sure I was reading the other day that they can change? And like anything with a test result that worries you it can be a good idea to get it repeated.

I did this trial after my miscarriage and mine was ok. I kind of wanted something to be wrong to explain why - I know that sounds silly.

Your thyroid can change but not generally dramatically. It does massively effect fertility for many - my friend has had problems with her thyroid but quite a lot different to yours (worse) I mean and she can not even get pregnant and they believe after medication this might help.

I would ask for repeat tests. If anything just to show its not a one off reading.

Mrs_T_M

Had a pretty good day today so far, but I think I may need to invest in a nursing bra if I'm going to keep pumping. I've decided that if I don't have a recipient for the milk by the end of March, I'll be stopping the pumping. Came down from a bath tonight in just pants and a gown and ended up having to go back up for a bra and boob pads because 'it just didn't feel right without.'

I'm also having an issue about feeling like I abandoned Dale. I know I didn't, and that I didn't have a choice, but it still feels horrid.

claire16c

Aw mrs TM please don't think that, you did all you could. If you don't mind me asking will the hospital help you with any kind of funeral or memorial, that might help you with those type of thoughts? It can most definitely make you feel like that, going into a hospital pregnant but coming out with no baby. But like you said you know you didn't abandon him xx

Mrs_T_M

claire16c wrote: »

Aw mrs TM please don't think that, you did all you could. If you don't mind me asking will the hospital help you with any kind of funeral or memorial, that might help you with those type of thoughts? It can most definitely make you feel like that, going into a hospital pregnant but coming out with no baby. But like you said you know you didn't abandon him xx

After the post mortem, he will be laid to rest with the other babies and children who have passed in the last two months in a garden near the hospital. We aren't allowed to attend the service, but the chaplain has said that she can show us approximately where he will be after the service if we want to visit.

I still feel pregnant. Gas, bloating, pains, muscle spasms in the bump area, hip pain, nausea, etc. I think that's making it worse.

claire16c

Mrs_T_M wrote: »

After the post mortem, he will be laid to rest with the other babies and children who have passed in the last two months in a garden near the hospital. We aren't allowed to attend the service, but the chaplain has said that she can show us approximately where he will be after the service if we want to visit.

I still feel pregnant. Gas, bloating, pains, muscle spasms in the bump area, hip pain, nausea, etc. I think that's making it worse.

I hope you get some comfort from visiting the garden.

It's really not nice how our bodies take a while to respond. I had morning sickness after my mc too. I think it went after around 2 weeks.

I guess the only thing you can do that you couldn't before is take some pain killers, don't suffer through it.

Mrs_T_M

claire16c wrote: »

I guess the only thing you can do that you couldn't before is take some pain killers, don't suffer through it.

I'm still only taking paracetamol, but that's mostly for the horrid headaches I get in the morning now. Since I'm pumping to donate, I'm going through tons more water now! I'm on my 6th pint of today and I'll probably drink another before bed.

LJ9982

samtoby wrote: »

I did this trial after my miscarriage and mine was ok. I kind of wanted something to be wrong to explain why - I know that sounds silly.

Your thyroid can change but not generally dramatically. It does massively effect fertility for many - my friend has had problems with her thyroid but quite a lot different to yours (worse) I mean and she can not even get pregnant and they believe after medication this might help.

I would ask for repeat tests. If anything just to show its not a one off reading.

Thankfully i had a repeat test - antibodies still positive and thyroid has gone from just in normal range into the underactive area. i am seeing the consultant on the 13th. Midwife's words were 'the consultant is sure this is what caused your miscarriage'...... i seem to be swinging between being happy that i haven't had several miscarriages before finding this out and then being unhappy because if i'd known about this and been on tablets before getting pregnant, i probably still would be........ not much i can do now i guess and just got to hope that going forward, it won't affect ttc

LJ9982

And Mrs_T_M you are absolutely amazing. I hope that fingers crossed you can find someone to give your milk to. You haven't abandoned Dale at all - you have done and are doing all you can do for him hun, you really are xxx It's a shame that you won't know the exact resting place for him though

abis21

Mrs TM - you didn't abandon Dale - you did all that you could. I went to a ceremony called saying goodbye at my local cathedral. This is the website of the organisation: http://www.sayinggoodbye.org/

I found it very helpful to officially have a place where I could remember my lost baby. I'm not religious, but this helped me no end. They have ceremonies around the country, so if you think it might be helpful to you then there might be one local to you.

I still felt pregnant for a long time afterwards too. I think the mental side of it hit me worse for that than the physical side. I didn't want to take ibroprufen as you couldn't when pregnant and suchlike. And then I felt like I had done something wrong when I did take them for the cramping. Its such a hard thing to adjust to, suddenly not being pregnant It takes our minds and bodies a while to get used to it all