Miscarriage support

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hope your appointment goes ok later Mrs_T_M Xx

Sam, are you feeling any more positive today?

How is everyone else doing? Rosie, haven't heard from you for a while.

I'm struggling a bit today. Been to a Christening which was lovely but the Father that took the service also held my Dad's funeral so that was an unexpected jolt. Then I couldn't help but think what a Christening would have been like with twins. 10 weeks and still no AF either. Feel a bit of a basket case if I'm honest Xx

rosie_78

hello all,

been ill past few days. had blood tests a while back which showed bfn, but then ov'd after. had a handful of bfp's (didn't tell anyone) and was going to talk to bf Friday night.

But then period arrived on Friday night (first one since erpc following mmc). its been awful and whilst I have been expecting it to be bad it's been massively painful and heavy. a few small clots, nothing like before.

i'm exhausted and not sleeping more than an hour or two a night.

very scared about psychiatrist appointment as I know my psychologist is mad at me. so she'll of told him to make me comply with the classes I've missed. urgh it's all really hard.

I hope everyone is as well as can be expected xx xx xx sorry im so crap at keeping up on here x

Mrs_T_M

Just a quick update: Back from the doctor's office. External and internal exam found that cervix is closed tightly and everything seems to have sorted itself. Can't get a scan yet, because they won't be able to find it (it's tiny, I'm not), but the doctor did say that I could request an early scan due to this once I've had my appointment with the midwife.

In a way, I'm glad that I get to leave this thread, but in another way, it makes me sad to leave such a wonderful group of ladies. Know that each of you will be in my thoughts, and I cannot thank you enough for supporting me while I was in this state of limbo. Giant hugs to all of you!

Phoenix7

Hi everyone, so sorry to be bumping this thread but I guess it's time I accept what's happening.

I had my 12 week scan on Friday 25th and the sonographer couldn't find a baby. She could see an area inside that would suggest a pregnancy but nothing inside it. I have to go back for another scan at the early pregnancy unit next Monday to see if anything has changed, or grown, but I am not hopeful. She asked if there was any chance I could have my dates wrong and not be as far along as I thought but based on when I got my BFP (2-3 weeks on a Clearblue digi on 10th September), I don't think that is possible.

I have already had one perfectly successful pregnancy and as a result have a 21 month old daughter, so this was something of a shock. Adding in the fact I have had no indication that anything was wrong, apart from a small amount of old brown mucusy discharge in the week running up to my scan (which ironically has now completely stopped) then it took us all by surprise.

I guess I was wondering if anyone could give advice as to what will happen next if the scan is to confirm that I have lost the baby? I guess I will have to chose between waiting things out naturally, or medical/surgical management? Given that I thought I was around 12 weeks and she was unable to find anything, I'm guessing the baby probably died a while ago, and my body has still not recognised the fact, so waiting for anything to happen naturally is probably not an option.

Sigh. I am trying to keep myself busy with work, my daughter etc, while we are in this state of limbo but it is difficult.

msb5262

Hi Phoenix,

I'm sorry to hear your news. It does come as a shock when you assume everything's going to be ok, particularly if you've already had a successful pregnancy.

I think you are probably right as regards what happens next - although you may have the choice of waiting for nature to take its course. I don't know what you would like to do and this is something you need to think about. People here have lots of experience to share so if you want to ask anything, go ahead.


Sending you love and best wishes

MsB x

Nicki

Very sorry for your news Phoenix. This is exactly what happened with my first miscarriage at 17 weeks. In my case they didn't offer any form of treatment though this was about 20 years ago so the protocol may be different now. I was told that sometimes when the pregnancy fails at a very early stage and there was just a sac with no placenta the body just reabsorbs everything. I don't know if that's what has happened with you but if the sonographer didn't see a yolk or foetal pole and you are sure of your dates it might well be.

It is a horrible time and made more horrible because this is a fairly unusual thing to happen so certainly back then I wasn't able to find any more detailed information about it or other women it had happened to. The closest thing is a blighted ovum I think.

claire16c

Phoenix I'm so sorry. I expect it will depend on what exactly they find, I.e a sac etc or if everything has been reabsorbed like Nicki said.

If there's nothing there then I can't see them doing surgical management, maybe you'd get tablets to being AF on/get rid of any tissue etc

What an awful shock, big hugs xx

Phoenix7

Thank you ladies. I didn't even realise that could happen, with your body reabsorbing things if it failed so early on. The sac certainly looked very small when she first found it, so maybe that is what has happened. Whilst I feel like I would like things over and done with as quickly as possible, I know my OH certainly doesn't like the thought of me going through a surgical procedure, so if it is required then it is most likely to be medical management I opt for. I had hoped to try ttc again soon but my OH wants to wait a few months as he feels it would be heartless to try again immediately. Although saying that, there is part of me that is now wondering if I want to try again at all, and that we should just be thankful for our gorgeous, funny, clever little girl. I guess it depends on how long it takes my body to get back to normal after this.

Sorry, I realise I'm rambling a bit. I feel like I'm just doing a brain-dump of all the thoughts flying around my head since Friday morning!

claire16c

Phoenix just to say that if there is enough there for surgical to be an option please don't discount it because of your OH.

I had a d&c and my friend is currently been having a natural miscarriage at home which frankly has sounded horrendous. I think if your OH knew the pain and bleeding it could cause he might not think like that.

I don't want to scare you & every case is different but for me I could not deal with that type of pain like contractions at home on my own, and getting it over with was much better. DH said to me he's really glad he didn't have to see me having weeks of pain like my friend has been having.

Medical management should at least speed it up, but you really should do what you want.

TeamLowe

Phoenix I had a missed miscarriage (as they're called) over two years ago now and had the medical management, so I just thought I'd share the procedure so you've a better idea.

I'd had spotting so gone to the EPU. I should have been 10.5 weeks but was only measuring 5.5 weeks. like you i was asked to come back for another scan a week later which confirmed there'd been no growth. I had to to choose between surgical and medical management and i chose medical as i could be admitted sooner for that

On the Friday I went into the EPU to take the first pill under supervision then wait 20 minutes on the ward to make sure it wasn't vomited back up.

On the Monday I was admitted and had two more tablets as a pessary. in quite possibly the least dignified experience of my life, i had to go the toilet in a cardboard pot so that a nurse could go through it and look for what I might have passed. not much had come out and I'd told the nurse that I'd had a significant clot over the weekend.
I had a scan at 1pm which showed that everything had passed and I was allowed home.

Hope this helps in some way, I'm sure the other ladies will share their experience of the surgical management but I know I'm one of very few who had a the medical management as it's not a pleasant experience. I didn't find it painful, it's just not very pleasant

Although obviously I hope this is all superflous and you'll find everything is ok at the next scan.
take good care of yourself x x