Miscarriage support

TeamLowe

onlyway, sorry again to hear about your loss
i had the medical management and found it fairly straightforward, if you have any specific questions? I don't know how much they've told you but you take 1 pill one day, then two days later you put two pills up inside you and have to be admitted to be observed.

I took the first pill on the friday and it seemed to be enough to start things off properly for me.
when i went in on the Monday at 9.00am i think it was, i put the two pills up inside me and sat and watched tv with husband in a private room. i also had a private toilet and had to wee into a cardboard thing so they could observe everything that came out and nothing was lost down the toilet. not dignified but only you and the nurses know about that
I was told that i could have painkillers if necessary but it would slow everything down so try to cope without them.
As it was i had very little pain and passed very little, so they scanned me about 1.00pm which showed that everything was gone- i had suspicions that i had passed the baby on the Sunday so with that confirmed i was discharged.

from beginning to end the nurses were nothing but amazingly lovely to me. i know that's not everyone's experience but i just wanted to say

onlyway can i ask how your PCOS is being treated? do you know that it increases your chances of miscarriage by 50% but taking metformin during pregnancy has shown to be effective at reducing this risk back down to 'normal' levels with no evidence of a rise in birth defects? it'll never be zero but it could give you a better chance, although not all doctors are comfortable with perscribing it.

I don't want to be the typical 'i know someone who had a miscarriage and now they have 18 kids so don't worry' but i do think you'd appreciate one short tale of hope - my husband's auntie has PCOS and had 5 miscarriages, including one set of twins over seven years. at her sixth pregnancy, her doctor said 'here's a prescription for metformin, it's not licensed for use in pregnancy so go away and have a think about it'. she decided to take it and had her son and three years later took it again whilst pregnant with her daughter

onlywayisup_2

Thanks TL

Your account of the medical management sounds ok. She just told me my options yday didnt want to bombard me with detail but i did a quick google and some of it was a bit:eek:. I assume with this a hospital stay is essential?

I would hope seeing as the baby was still small it would be ok. Its hard enough without adding womb scaring or cervical problems to the mix so not keen on the surgery.

My PCOS is untreated as yet. Im one of the 'lucky' lean pcos cases so was never offered metformin. The fs told me at the last appt that he didnt believe in the increased risk and believed it was only due to the other health problems eg weight gain that caused this risk in the first instance. Our next appt should be in September so i will be asking this again as i do believe i have symptoms of insulin resistance. He plans on starting clomid after the appt if my bloods/his sa are normal.

TeamLowe

onlywayisup wrote: »

Thanks TL

Your account of the medical management sounds ok. She just told me my options yday didnt want to bombard me with detail but i did a quick google and some of it was a bit:eek:. I assume with this a hospital stay is essential?

I would hope seeing as the baby was still small it would be ok. Its hard enough without adding womb scaring or cervical problems to the mix so not keen on the surgery.

My PCOS is untreated as yet. Im one of the 'lucky' lean pcos cases so was never offered metformin. The fs told me at the last appt that he didnt believe in the increased risk and believed it was only due to the other health problems eg weight gain that caused this risk in the first instance. Our next appt should be in September so i will be asking this again as i do believe i have symptoms of insulin resistance. He plans on starting clomid after the appt if my bloods/his sa are normal.

you have to be 'observed' when you take the second set of pills but I was told that if nothing had passed by 4.00pm i had to go home anyway so it's not like an overnight hospital stay

my baby was measuring at 5.5 weeks and i got through it all with the standard dose ibuprofen so hopefully it'll be similar for you in regards to pain etc
in fact after i was discharged we went for a walk round the Trafford Centre and watched Bridesmaids so can't have been too bad at all.

Interesting what your FS says but hopefully they'll investigate for you now you've had three anyway and it'll be something treatable x

claire16c

That's interesting about the metformin and pcos because someone I know had a kid then I think 3-5 miscarriages and then got put on it, continued to take it throughout pregnancy - which like you say wasn't licensed but this baby was carried to term. She was born with a heart defect meaning she had to have lots of operations but impossible to know if it was related and/or whether she would have survived without it.

I had a d&c as my hospital doesn't offer medical management and I couldn't have coped with that I don't think, although I was terrified of the anaesthetic etc. I'm glad I went that way as it was done in 1 day and no
pain. I was a bit further along though and everyone is different as to how they think they'd cope best.

I'm so sorry for your loss I was really happy to see you get your bfp.

tea_lover

Struggling tonight

Feeling v bitter about other pg announcements, and v v horrible for thinking like that.

Just don't get why everyone else gets a go & I don't. Why don't I deserve this?

lilymay1

Tea, massive hugs. You can't compare yourself to everyone else. It took me a long time to accept that life just isn't fair sometimes. I will never forget walking out of the hospital alone, knowing my daughter was lying in a fridge somewhere. That mental image still haunts me.

If you are anything like me, there isn't anything anyone else can say or do to help. Me even saying this is probably very unhelpful given the situation, but I just wanted to say that I do understand. I know the feelings of resentment, of bitterness, of hatred even. It is so very unfair and I really feel for you after what you went through to get there.

It will get easier. But until then, know that there are people out there who understand. One thing These threads have taught me is that everyone has their own story (and journey) to their pregnancy and sometimes it goes much deeper than we can see.

Take care. I am thinking of you xx

tea_lover

I seem to feel worse everyday. I thought it would get better with time, but it's just getting worse.

Toooldforthis

tea_lover wrote: »

Struggling tonight

Feeling v bitter about other pg announcements, and v v horrible for thinking like that.

Just don't get why everyone else gets a go & I don't. Why don't I deserve this?

I feel like that too sometimes. .. I think it's part of the grief process xx

claire16c

Big hugs tea. For me, the crying has got better but I'm still very sad from time to time. I'm just desperate to be pregnant again.

Then today I heard that a lady who had a mc about two months before me, has recently had another one.

So then I think well even if I do get pregnant again what if it happens again? And I know plenty of people on this thread are in that position.

I just wish it didn't exist.

lilymay1

More big late night hugs all around. It is so raw for you tea and TOFT you are bound to still struggle.

Tea, have you been offered any help? Someone to talk it through with? Have you approached your GP? I find it quite disturbing that the level of support after a loss at any stage is virtually nil. Talking to strangers didn't help me at all and to be honest, the only thing that helped was getting pregnant again. Although that pregnancy was hell, i knew I had done everything i could and just had to wait.

I know I was very lucky and that's not as easy an option for you tea but is there anything else you could try and focus on. I know it must be so hard.

You all are very brave. It will become easier to live with, I can
Promise you that.

Lily xx