Miscarriage support

tea_lover

Thinking of you toft x.

Toooldforthis

Thanks again everyone x I wish I could go to bed and wake up and it all be over.
Also my mind is winding me up to ... I said I would only try three times which I have now but now keep saying to myself they maybe able to tell me whats wrong and it maybe so eaay to treat ..... I am in such turmoil as I have to tell them if I want them to do tests ..... x

pigpen

TOFT... My advice is have the tests.. you will otherwise spend forever wondering the what ifs and whys. Just because you said you'd try 3 times doesn't mean you can't change your mind. I always said I'd have 7 pregnancies and here I am on my 18th.. it is a womans prerogative to change her mind.

After my first I had secondary infertility and had 3 m/cs before getting DD1. I found out I was having her the day I got the letter saying my 3rd m/c had Downs and an appointment with gynae..

My first 7 pregnancies resulted in 2 children and 6 losses (DD1 was a twin)... never say never until there is no hope left xxxxxxx

claire16c

Definitely get the tests or you will always wonder plus like you say there may be treatment. I think you are much more likely to regret not getting them than getting them x

skintchick

Have the tests because it may be something easily treated.

I've had them if you'd like to know more. Just ask.

Toooldforthis

skintchick wrote: »

Have the tests because it may be something easily treated.

I've had them if you'd like to know more. Just ask.

Yes please if you don't mind xx

skintchick

Toooldforthis wrote: »

Yes please if you don't mind xx

I'm just in from my mate's so will come back tomorrow x

tea_lover

I really think this might be the last straw for my relationship (if you can even call it that these days).

Have tried to speak to OH about what happened, and about what to do next and he just refuses to even have a conversation about it.

Throughout the whole IVF process I felt like I was on my own. No matter how much I explained to him and asked for support he was just as insensitive and selfish as ever.

The morning after I knew I was miscarrying he went to Scotland on a cycling trip for 4 days. It had been planned for a few weeks but who does that? Who leaves their gf on their own to miscarry their IVF babies? If he had cancelled the trip it wouldn't have let anyone else down - he wasnn't driving up there, there was no financial issue, etc. He just went because he wanted to. He didn't call me once the whole time he was away, I got 2 texts just telling me about bike stuff.

Since he got back (on monday) he's not even asked me how I am.

He's now said he doesn't think I was pg and the hospital test was wrong. I had 4 +ve pg tests over 4 days, but he's ignoring that. I told him you can't get a false +ve and he told me "not to be f'ing stupid".

He refuses to entertain the idea of trying IVF again as he says it's too much of a gamble. I said the odds were still better than if we do nothing (it definitely won't happen naturally) but he's not interested.

I feel like I'm totally on my own. I've lost my babies and he's not even interested enough to look away from sky sports news for 5 seconds and speak to me. He's now upstairs sulking and no doubt won't speak to me all evening.

Would it be very wrong to google "sperm donors"??

msb5262

Oh tea lover, you poor love. I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Don't know what to suggest except that you do something very nice for yourself and rest up as much as you can - sometimes men find it very hard indeed to understand any of the emotional context of a miscarriage.
Much love to you
MsB

pigpen

Maybe being this level of detached is his way of coping.

The thing with an early miscarriage is also it isn't real to the menfolk.. they don't see anything but a line or word on a test.. they don't have any symptoms or any anything.

Or of course he could just be a pig in which case google sperm donors to your hearts content.. or dump him and find someone more supportive or just bat your eyes at any male specimen and ask for a jar full You can use a friend if they are willing.

Big hugs xxxxxxxxxxx