Miscarriage support

skintchick

Nicki, I'm not saying I didn;t want to be told, just that it should have been done with more sensitivity and tact. I won;t be there on Sunday - still recovering from my operation and TBH I don't think I want go as it will ne doubt be announced up the front of church and I can't handle it.

I wasn't there last week but OH was, and the guy has been texting OH about other stuff this week so he could have mentioned it. Or they could have phoned me today or texted - they know I go on FB a lot at the moment as I am stuck at home.

I just wanted some empathy and sensitivity from people who are in a paid position that requires it! I'm their flock, as it were, they ought to be thinking about me (and others). THey are not 'ordinary' people in that sense.

And anyway, everyone else I know who got PG and knew my history managed to be sensitive and thoughtful.

*sigh*

amus

Its hard to know what to do I think because everybody is different and would prefer things to be done in different ways. Where some people would like to think their friends wouldnt treat them differently because of things that have happened, others may wish for that.

Having said that, if they have pulled you up for saying innocuous things on Facebook that were not intended to offend, then they cannot expect to apply double standards so I think you were justified in pulling them up when they have done the same.

fran-o

Hi all, haven't posted for ages but popping in to catch up and say hi. Sorry to hear about new losses and peoples sadness.
Got through Christmas and new year without too much sadness (our mc was end of oct). Planned a NYE by ourselves but ended up sharing it with two close friends who knew about our mc and have been through it themselves so were understanding about my tears after Big Ben chimed. Have been feeling fairly stable mood-wise lately though still think about mc every day. Never did the counselling thing in the end and things aren't perfect. I enquired at work (occ health) and they never came back to me so must try again. Hubby and I both said we'd like to ttc again and yet we've been very lazy on that front. Not feeling positive enough to do the bd and a bit scared of another mc too I think. I still associate getting pregnant with a very negative experience. And yet we want a family...
Re the Facebook thing, it does make it hard doesn't it? A close friend is pregnant, she was about a month ahead of me and was one of only a few friends I told about my mc. I was so looking forward to us having our babes together. She is basically documenting her pregnancy on FB with a bump photo every fortnight, scan pics, sweepstake on sex of baby etc. She was same with first baby and I thought it was fun, this time it's hard seeing it. It's hard to begrudge her sharing her joy but I do!
Big hugs to you all xxxx

fran-o

Ugh writing all that down has made me realise how miserable I am! Holding it together all the time but deep down I'm not on top of things yet...

mishkanorman

skintchick wrote: »

Nicki, I'm not saying I didn;t want to be told, just that it should have been done with more sensitivity and tact. I won;t be there on Sunday - still recovering from my operation and TBH I don't think I want go as it will ne doubt be announced up the front of church and I can't handle it.

I wasn't there last week but OH was, and the guy has been texting OH about other stuff this week so he could have mentioned it. Or they could have phoned me today or texted - they know I go on FB a lot at the moment as I am stuck at home.

I just wanted some empathy and sensitivity from people who are in a paid position that requires it! I'm their flock, as it were, they ought to be thinking about me (and others). THey are not 'ordinary' people in that sense.

And anyway, everyone else I know who got PG and knew my history managed to be sensitive and thoughtful.

*sigh*

Just a thought, have you checked with your OH they didnt tell him and he had kept it from you to tell you at a suitable time ?

Does seem pretty insensitive given the previous comments they have made

claire16c

fran-o wrote: »

Ugh writing all that down has made me realise how miserable I am! Holding it together all the time but deep down I'm not on top of things yet...

That's how I feel. I feel like I've made some huge progress over the last week or so but then I also feel like crying at any given moment.

We managed to bd the other night not for baby making purposes though but was the first time in ages because I had bad morning sickness the whole time I was pregnant. To be honest glad we've got that 'first time' out of the way.

I think the thing is I'm expecting myself to feel better now but then I remember I only had the Erpc 3 weeks ago so if I need to cry I will!

skintchick

mishkanorman wrote: »

Just a thought, have you checked with your OH they didnt tell him and he had kept it from you to tell you at a suitable time ?

Does seem pretty insensitive given the previous comments they have made

Yes but he had no idea till I told him. They haven't contacted me so either they haven't read what I put or they have and they don't care.

fran-o

Hope everyones had a good week. Had a pretty low weekend and a looong week at work. So glad its the weekend again and a quiet one for us.
Is anyone snowed in?!

any_name_will_suffice

Groan. i saw the GP yesterday, my urine sample two weeks ago tested negative for pg, but I 'm still bleeding, day 17 now. OH and myself suspected I have had another mc, but the GP says that despite my positive home test, she has no medical evidence to support that. So, she's taken swabs and done an internal exam to try and find the cause of the bleeding and has asked me to drop another sample in today just to double check the results, because if I'm still bleeding in a week she wants to give me some medication to try and stop it.

I can't tell you how fed up I am now. She suggested as I have had two mc now, the odds are in my favour of me having a healthy pregnancy. I did point out that's the gamblers' paradox, and my two mc would not change the statistical likelihood of my having another in the slightest. She smiled and said she understood it must be difficult for me to believe right now. She did mention a referral to gynae if my bleeding carries on, both for bleeding and for investigation re my mc, but she didn't mention if she would refer me if the bleeding stopped. I didn't think to ask.


I having a feeling the above made no sense!!! I just wanted to clear my head really.

Hope you are all doing ok?


Fran-o, the snow wasn't that bad, although My house fronts onto a main emergency services route, so if I can get the car off the cul de sac, it's not normally too bad. What was it like your way?

fran-o

Hi anyname- sorry you're still having a rough time with your health. I don't have any advice, just hugs.
Has been snowy where i am in south london suburbs. Had a couple of long journeys but mostly ok and its nearly melted now.
Last few weeks I have felt quite low and am now trying to book in with a counsellor at work to help talk things through. Hubby and I have done a bit more talking too. I think the dark weather and long days at work have just made everything a bit harder. Best wishes to all x