Miscarriage support

claire16c

mrsj28 wrote: »

Hi again Claire - just wanted to let you know that I ovulated on cd23 the cycle I got pregnant and so far all is looking good, so please try not to worry too much about late ovulation. Also, if I remember rightly, 2ba3c from the ttc thread got pregnant very late in her cycle.

Aargh I just wish I could take all of this away from you, and from all the other ladies who are going through/have gone through it

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS to everybody.

Its the fact that its such an awful thing, plus the fact its so common, makes it so much worse. I mean its good to have other people to talk about it and know youre not the only one - dont get me wrong on that at all, but I was saying to SIL last night its a wonder there are so many people on the planet seeing as your body seems to pretty much try to prevent you getting pregnant in the first place - as it shows when watching that Great Sperm Race programme. And then once you are pregnant it seems like just the start of a huge long hurdle race.

I know you got pg really soon after finding out you had pcos - but did the dr even offer you anything?

Because Im in 2 minds about going to the drs once this is all over and finding out if i have it or not. Part of my says no there is no point it will only depress me further. But if there is some kind of treatment then I would. (and I cant lie I put it off before because I was scared of having a blood test but after having 3 in the past 3 weeks Im over that now!)

skintchick

Claire, I don;t know anything about PCOS but I have a friend who has PCOS, MS, and a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden (same disorder that I have). She has had five miscarriages (again like me) and a baby boy.

Her mcs were all down to the Factor V Leiden.

She got pregnant six times.

I don't think PCOS is as a big a hurdle as you think, maybe.

I know it makes it harder, but not impossible.

mrsj28

claire16c wrote: »

Its the fact that its such an awful thing, plus the fact its so common, makes it so much worse. I mean its good to have other people to talk about it and know youre not the only one - dont get me wrong on that at all, but I was saying to SIL last night its a wonder there are so many people on the planet seeing as your body seems to pretty much try to prevent you getting pregnant in the first place - as it shows when watching that Great Sperm Race programme. And then once you are pregnant it seems like just the start of a huge long hurdle race.

I know you got pg really soon after finding out you had pcos - but did the dr even offer you anything?

Because Im in 2 minds about going to the drs once this is all over and finding out if i have it or not. Part of my says no there is no point it will only depress me further. But if there is some kind of treatment then I would. (and I cant lie I put it off before because I was scared of having a blood test but after having 3 in the past 3 weeks Im over that now!)

I didn't have any treatment for the PCOS because in my area you have to have been trying for 2 years to get referred to a fertility specialist, so was told to just keep on trying (my GP at the time was pretty rubbish, and I think if I hadn't got pregnant I'd have gone back for a second opinion). However I know other people living in different areas have been seen sooner and prescribed Clomid for example. We were planning to see a private FS for a consultation but didn't in the end because I fell pregnant.

My (nice new) GP really helped me by saying that sometimes your body gets such a shock at being pregnant for the first time that it rejects the baby and you miscarry, but the second time it is more prepared and ready for it.

See how you feel about going to the doc to get the bloods done - you might just want some time to not think about it, we basically decided not to do anything until after another three months (in fact, originally we said we'd use contraception for the first month, but I was so desperate to be pregnant again that we didn't) and just making that decision (to take a bit of time 'out' and off the rollercoaster) helped me to feel a lot more peaceful about it.

Everybody is different, and you will definitely do what is right for you, I am sure - and don't let anybody tell you that you are doing the 'wrong' thing. There is no protocol to follow. Just surround yourself with people that will support whatever decision you make.

mrsj28

skintchick wrote: »

I don't think PCOS is as a big a hurdle as you think, maybe.

I know it makes it harder, but not impossible.

^^ this xxx

lilymay1

mrsj28 wrote: »

^^ this xxx

I will third this PCOS does not equal childless. A lot of people don't even need help!

Claire - ovulating late in your cycle makes no difference what so ever as long as your LP is okay, which at 12-13 days is perfect. Doctors really need to stop harping on about 28 day cycles and day 14 ovulation - the reality is very different for so many women.

Hope you're doing okay xx

claire16c

skintchick wrote: »

Claire, I don;t know anything about PCOS but I have a friend who has PCOS, MS, and a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden (same disorder that I have). She has had five miscarriages (again like me) and a baby boy.

Her mcs were all down to the Factor V Leiden.

She got pregnant six times.

I don't think PCOS is as a big a hurdle as you think, maybe.

I know it makes it harder, but not impossible.

Thats interesting/reassuring to know. Although I feel bad saying that just knowing you have both had so many

mrsj28 wrote: »

I didn't have any treatment for the PCOS because in my area you have to have been trying for 2 years to get referred to a fertility specialist, so was told to just keep on trying (my GP at the time was pretty rubbish, and I think if I hadn't got pregnant I'd have gone back for a second opinion). However I know other people living in different areas have been seen sooner and prescribed Clomid for example. We were planning to see a private FS for a consultation but didn't in the end because I fell pregnant.

My (nice new) GP really helped me by saying that sometimes your body gets such a shock at being pregnant for the first time that it rejects the baby and you miscarry, but the second time it is more prepared and ready for it.

See how you feel about going to the doc to get the bloods done - you might just want some time to not think about it, we basically decided not to do anything until after another three months (in fact, originally we said we'd use contraception for the first month, but I was so desperate to be pregnant again that we didn't) and just making that decision (to take a bit of time 'out' and off the rollercoaster) helped me to feel a lot more peaceful about it.

Everybody is different, and you will definitely do what is right for you, I am sure - and don't let anybody tell you that you are doing the 'wrong' thing. There is no protocol to follow. Just surround yourself with people that will support whatever decision you make.

DH was talking to his first client today at work, he told him what happened and he said the exact same thing happened to him and his wife at their 12 week scan. He said they waited for 2 months and then on the 3rd month they started trying again and it worked -apparently he was very proud of himself :rotfl:I think DH also found it really helpful to talk to another man. Anyway - he also said something along the same lines, I think their dr said a similar thing about your body being better prepared the second time. I hope so.

lilymay1 wrote: »

I will third this PCOS does not equal childless. A lot of people don't even need help!

Claire - ovulating late in your cycle makes no difference what so ever as long as your LP is okay, which at 12-13 days is perfect. Doctors really need to stop harping on about 28 day cycles and day 14 ovulation - the reality is very different for so many women.

Hope you're doing okay xx

I have to say from the experience of being on the ttc thread for such a long time it seems like there is hardly anyone with a 28 day cycle. It even winds me up they start with dating pregnancies by your LMP when you know you didnt ovulate on day 14.

The most comforting thing I heard about long cycles was my friend - who has very similar cycles to me and now has a baby girl. Her dr said its fine and doesnt recommend seeing someone until youve been trying for 2 years - or 24 cycles if theyre longer than 1 month.

Im just praying this can be over soon and I can start ovulating again. Even if it doesnt happen very soon I just want to get back to normal:(

claire16c

In the past hour I've started to have a couple of more positive thoughts that I'm trying to stay focused on (in between bursting into tears and feeling sick).

1. I'm not going to make any decisions yet but another reason I feel so down is that my workplace has become very depressing place to work recently and this pregnancy was a way out. I kept thinking please let the 12 week scan be ok because I can't stay there much longer. Which I felt so guilty for thinking like I only wanted the baby to be ok for that reason- which of course I didn't. So, normally I am very focused on having a good career and saving a ton because house prices round here are a fortune, but if I'm not happy at work why am I there? So I think perhaps I need to leave and find something else. Plus I know I will break down as soon as I see my desk where the last time I sat at it I was happy and pregnant. Plus my job role was altered because I told them I was pregnant- which I wanted- but now feel like that would also be a constant reminder.

The only problem is I have a 3 month notice period but they're a small company and I can't see them suing me because of past conversations I've had with hr when other people left early.

I just want to be in a happy environment and we can live off DHs salary whilst I look for it. Plus my friend is starting a new company and may be able to find something part time for me. Just thinking about that makes me feel so much happier.


2. The last time I felt this devastated was when me and DH almost split up about 5 years ago when he said he didn't want kids. Now he wants them as much as me, and the most important thing in my life is being with him. So I know I can get through this with him.

3. Hopefully I can get pregnant in 2013


Now I just have to get through the next few days.

TeamLowe

here follows all that I have been told by cosultants...

there are five symptoms of pcos and you have to have at least three to be diagnosed- long or no cycles (pretty sure by long they mean 42 days plus), hirsuitism (there's charts online showing what's considered excess hair), acne particularly around the jawline, struggle to lose.weight/put it on easily, ovarian cysts.

if you was to be diagnosed then the consultant would treat the symptoms you wanted to be treated, there is no cure. so you could get round the two year/one year rule as I have by going to a gynae not a fs.

pcos does increase the risk of miscarriage but it's not known why so it's not necessarily cause and effect. metformin does reduce the risk back down to normal levels but very few doctors would prescribe it during pregnancy.

ovulating late in your cycle does not affect the chances of a successful pregnancy and from what I gather there's very little they can do about it anyway. the best thing anyone can do to help their cycles is lose weight if they are overweight- very difficult for pcos ladies but fat cells produce hormones which delay or even stop ovulation.

any pregnancy, no matter the outcome can change your cycles and it may take a while for them to settle down again, so try, as hard as it will be, to have some patience with your body x x

SusanC_2

claire16c wrote: »

I just feel like I won't be happy again until I'm pregnant again. And I don't know if/when that will be. Which is making me feel so depressed. I just don't know how to cope with this. I have been reading back through the thread although as its pretty long ( unfortunately) I haven't got very far.

I think it's normal to feel like that - I absolutely hate being pregnant because of how ill I get (love the end result - just hate what I have to endure to get there) but I found the months between my last loss and getting pregnant much harder because I just wanted to be pregnant straight away so that I was closer to getting my baby. I'm sure you will get pregnant again and as skintchick says, having had one MC doesn't significantly change your chances of a successful pregnancy next time. Also, miscarriages are actually more common in first pregnancies so having had one doesn't mean that it can't work out fine next time.

skintchick wrote: »

I only know a bit, but I would say it is best to look at your own cycle rather than compare it to someone else's. WHat do you mean, 'not ovulating quick enough'? Usually people ovulate around day 14, with your period coming around day 28 of your cycle.

But that's an average. I ovulate bewteen days 12 and 16, with a 32-day average cycle.

The important part is the bit bwteen ovulation and your period coming. As I understand it, if that is shorter than 10 days then you have a short luteal phase and, yes, that can cause fertility problems as the womb lining sheds almost before the fetilised egg can implant (which takes 7-10 days) so basically your period starts before the fetilised egg is in place so it gets lost along with the period.

I believe there are things you can do to lengthen luteal phase, if that is your issue, so you could look into that.

Otherwise, you probably don;t have a problem.

Agree with the above ^^^. I've just looked at my spreadsheet of my last 21 non-pregnant cycles and I ovulated from day 14-23, had a luteal phase from 10-15 days long and a cycle length of 27-36 days. Four of those cycles were unsuccessful TTC months and I also conceived four times within that time so I don't think the variability caused problems with conceiving.

claire16c wrote: »

Yeah the Dr said ' We recommend you wait for 2-3 months to give your body a rest.' I just smiled and nodded and thought yeah right as if I could do that, just couldnt be bothered to say anything as what was the point.

Everything Ive read says to just wait til youve stopped bleeding - which I would anyway, and then IF you want to wait for one cycle you can.

and yes for dating purposes - like you say they use the scan anyway, plus will start taking my temperature every day and doing opks so I will be in no doubt of any dates.

I was told there was no need to wait and that whenever we were ready is fine but here they always base the dates on the scan no matter what you have told them so LMP is meaningless to them anyway. I actually gave a corrected LMP for my fourth pregnancy based on the fact that I had ovulated on day 21 so that I had the right dates (I didn't lie about it - I told them it was based on ovulation date) but if you conceive right after a miscarriage then the chances are they would just use a scan to date you even if usually they go from LMP for dating.

claire16c

I have the long cycles and I do get spots around the jawline- but mainly on my chin before I ovulate? So not sure if that would count. I'm really slim so the being overweight bit doesn't apply- but the struggling to put it on does- but think that's just genetics me and my sister got from my dad.

I think I remember QQ saying on the ttc board you can have pco: basically the polycycstic ovaries but without the syndrome/ symptoms part, maybe I have that. My cycles just seem like they can't be normal when they're so irregular.

But maybe as I don't have the symptom part anyhow there is little point in looking into it as I am ovulating and did get pregnant. Not sure if there's much they can do to make you ovulate quicker.