Miscarriage support

skintchick

claire16c wrote: »

So after the appt I now feel like I'm leaning the other way slightly. The dr was very young, so don't know how many years experience she has but the way she talked about the risks of the Erpc it scared me. She said yes it's possible that if you leave nature to its own thing it's probably unlikely you would have to go back for an Erpc but she didn't know the statistics.

In my mind I'm thinking at least if you had to have an Erpc because it hadn't all come out at home, at least if something went wrong you'd know if wasn't a choice. But, if I choose it now and then something went wrong I would wish I hadn't done it.

Basically the dr could only give me the information I already knew but was very nice, the nurse who took my blood pressure and pulse ( which set the alarm off as I was so upset) was lovely and said shed been through it herself and knew how I felt.

So if of course it just starts to happen now of its own accord. DH said he would help to make sure I didn't see anything. If the spotting goes away ill be forced into making a decision so just feel like the whole thing is up in the air now. Although she did say there was no rush they are happy to leave it another 2 weeks.

I asked about pain killers if if happens at home and the dr said taking paracetamol and ibuprofen should be ok. Would you ladies agree with that? Is it truly like bad period pains?

With an ERPC, like with any surgery requiring an anaesthetic, there are risks associated with that anaesthetic.

There are also risks with an ERPC of rupture of the womb, and of adhesions which is where bits of the womb stick together. With both of these things, there will be an effect on fertility and ability to carry a baby in the future.

Only you can decide how you feel about those risks, they are small but they are still there.

In my experience of natural miscarriages, once the spotting starts then it will get going fairly quickly. I'd have thought that you will begin to miscarry properly in the next day or so.

If you've read back you'll have seen details from me and other posters about our miscarriages, but plenty of pads, a bowl by the bed (if you are in bed) to squat over (sorry it's TMI but if you lie down then stand up you will not make it to the toilet in time. The most distressing thing about mc for me was standing in my bedroom with blood all down my legs and on the carpet, so I set up an old towel and a bowl so I could just do it there. OH emptied the bowl into the toilet for me).

On painkillers, I have found with all but one of mine (the one that was so early it was almost a period) that I needed codeine and that I was in proper agony for days.

Others don;'t experience it like that but it is a mini-labour.

I've lost babies from 4 to 13 weeks, and the gestation has not made a difference to my experience of the pain or the amount of 'stuff'that you pass - there is lot of clots and womb lining that comes out.

I got my codeine from my GP. I just phoned up and asked and he prepared a prescription and I sent OH to fetch it. It's very easy.

I would get some strong painkillers in, just in case, there is nothing worse than waiting a day for your doctor to prepare them for you when you are in pain. If you don;t need them then just don;t take them.

I'm so sorry claire, I truly am, my post sounds all clinical I know but if it's going to happen at home you need to be prepared and you need this practical stuff. I wish I'd had known all this before my first one.

Just ask if you have any questions, we're all here for you hun.

skintchick

claire16c wrote: »

Skintchick- I read back some pages and saw you suggest a counselling place, I think you must live near me I will have to look them up.

They are great. I have one more session to go in January but I have found the course to be so helpful. I didn;t even think it was doing anything as I went through, but by the end I felt so much different.

I live in Henley BTW.

skintchick

Sorry! Another post!

Just read Metranil's post.

I have never had any of the mc tissue looked at, at my local hospital (royal Berks). With my first ones I took some in and they wouldn;t look at it, so with my last one I didn;t take the sac in and of course they said they would have looked at it!

BUT if you do it at home, the RBH will not do any tests on it for you, at least that is what they told me. They told me they would only test tissue that had been removed during an ERPC, not even if you passed it naturally in hospital.

you may want to check that, but that is what I was told in July this year.

I don't know if you want any tests done or not?

msb5262

claire16c wrote: »

The hospital/ operation literally scares the &@@£ out of me so I'm starting to think it would be better if it just happens before Friday. I've got minute spotting so I guess I just hope it carries on. Although the whole thing is just horrible, I just want to go back to being pregnant and happy.

Claire, I do feel for you. It's very frightening to find that suddenly you're not only no longer pregnant but also you're possibly going to be in hospital having an operation under general anaesthetic.

However, if you do have to have the procedure it is much less stressful than it sounds. The hospital is obliged to explain the possible risks of doing an ERPC but it is a procedure which is done frequently and in which surgeons quickly become very skilled.

I found the experience itself was ok and I'm sure that if you find yourself having an ERPC, it will be the same so try not to get too anxious about it.

Give yourself a bit of time to take in all that's happened and don't rush into deciding anything...you have been through so much in the last couple of days.

Best wishes
MsB

Courgette

Claire, once again I'm so sorry you're having to face this. I've had 2 mcs at 7 and 11weeks. I had both of them naturally at home. second one at 11 weeks I had in the bath because I really wanted to see the baby. I did find the baby and we had a cuddle and held a small funeral in the back garden and being able to do this really helped me. I must say though that the amount of blood really traumatised me though as my mc at 7 weeks wasn't much worse than a heavy AF. I didn't find either mc painful at all.

I know it's information overload for you at the moment but one thing I would recommend is that you take a strong multivitamin for quite a few months to build your body back up. Don't underestimate the physical side of all this.

My thoughts are with you tonight and over the next few days. There will be light at the end of the tunnel xxx

claire16c

skintchick wrote: »

They are great. I have one more session to go in January but I have found the course to be so helpful. I didn;t even think it was doing anything as I went through, but by the end I felt so much different.

I live in Henley BTW.

I'm from Wokingham so royal Berks is my hospital too. Ah love going to Henley for a walk by the river.

skintchick wrote: »

Sorry! Another post!

Just read Metranil's post.

I have never had any of the mc tissue looked at, at my local hospital (royal Berks). With my first ones I took some in and they wouldn;t look at it, so with my last one I didn;t take the sac in and of course they said they would have looked at it!

BUT if you do it at home, the RBH will not do any tests on it for you, at least that is what they told me. They told me they would only test tissue that had been removed during an ERPC, not even if you passed it naturally in hospital.

you may want to check that, but that is what I was told in July this year.

I don't know if you want any tests done or not?

I don't think so. As this is the first I'm trying to stay positive and assume it wasn't developing properly.if it happened again I think I would so that's interesting to know.

msb5262 wrote: »

Claire, I do feel for you. It's very frightening to find that suddenly you're not only no longer pregnant but also you're possibly going to be in hospital having an operation under general anaesthetic.

However, if you do have to have the procedure it is much less stressful than it sounds. The hospital is obliged to explain the possible risks of doing an ERPC but it is a procedure which is done frequently and in which surgeons quickly become very skilled.

I found the experience itself was ok and I'm sure that if you find yourself having an ERPC, it will be the same so try not to get too anxious about it.

Give yourself a bit of time to take in all that's happened and don't rush into deciding anything...you have been through so much in the last couple of days.

Best wishes
MsB

Thank you. That's exactly how I feel. It's like it's all gone from bad to worse. I said to dh why can't your body just reabsorb it and it would be over with now. Everything about going into hospital scares me.

I know they have to tell you the risks but it just seemed like the way she was saying it sounded bad. Then if you go on google there are so many scary stories (although according to google I shouldn't be pregnant due to long cycles, not being fat enough etc!) but still worrying to read.

I remember when I had my booking in appt she said would you consent to a blood transfusion incase of a c-section and you had to go under GA, and I was like yeh whatever but thinking god that would be awful and now .cant believe I'm facing the prospect of it and for a much worse reason.

claire16c

Courgette wrote: »

Claire, once again I'm so sorry you're having to face this. I've had 2 mcs at 7 and 11weeks. I had both of them naturally at home. second one at 11 weeks I had in the bath because I really wanted to see the baby. I did find the baby and we had a cuddle and held a small funeral in the back garden and being able to do this really helped me. I must say though that the amount of blood really traumatised me though as my mc at 7 weeks wasn't much worse than a heavy AF. I didn't find either mc painful at all.

I know it's information overload for you at the moment but one thing I would recommend is that you take a strong multivitamin for quite a few months to build your body back up. Don't underestimate the physical side of all this.

My thoughts are with you tonight and over the next few days. There will be light at the end of the tunnel xxx

That's probably a good idea as I'm still nauseous plus now sick with the stress so I'm hardly eating anything.

Me and DH talked about that actually but then he said what about when we move house? It's like every thing associated with this entire process is just awful. But that's good to know it helped you I think I'd still consider it.

claire16c

skintchick wrote: »

With an ERPC, like with any surgery requiring an anaesthetic, there are risks associated with that anaesthetic.

There are also risks with an ERPC of rupture of the womb, and of adhesions which is where bits of the womb stick together. With both of these things, there will be an effect on fertility and ability to carry a baby in the future.

Only you can decide how you feel about those risks, they are small but they are still there.

In my experience of natural miscarriages, once the spotting starts then it will get going fairly quickly. I'd have thought that you will begin to miscarry properly in the next day or so.

If you've read back you'll have seen details from me and other posters about our miscarriages, but plenty of pads, a bowl by the bed (if you are in bed) to squat over (sorry it's TMI but if you lie down then stand up you will not make it to the toilet in time. The most distressing thing about mc for me was standing in my bedroom with blood all down my legs and on the carpet, so I set up an old towel and a bowl so I could just do it there. OH emptied the bowl into the toilet for me).

On painkillers, I have found with all but one of mine (the one that was so early it was almost a period) that I needed codeine and that I was in proper agony for days.

Others don;'t experience it like that but it is a mini-labour.

I've lost babies from 4 to 13 weeks, and the gestation has not made a difference to my experience of the pain or the amount of 'stuff'that you pass - there is lot of clots and womb lining that comes out.

I got my codeine from my GP. I just phoned up and asked and he prepared a prescription and I sent OH to fetch it. It's very easy.

I would get some strong painkillers in, just in case, there is nothing worse than waiting a day for your doctor to prepare them for you when you are in pain. If you don;t need them then just don;t take them.

I'm so sorry claire, I truly am, my post sounds all clinical I know but if it's going to happen at home you need to be prepared and you need this practical stuff. I wish I'd had known all this before my first one.

Just ask if you have any questions, we're all here for you hun.

No this is the stuff I need to know. The pain does worry me. I think if it starts over night or tomorrow I will call the gp then. As I don't feel confident that normal painkillers could do it. Like you said you don't have to take them. Ugh. Just dreading the next couple of days. The risks from the Erpc scare me more, I think?
I guess I'll see what happens before Friday.

skintchick

Claire, I think that's a sensible view to take re tests. If this is your first mc the likelihood is that as you say, it was probably something not forming correctly, and you are highly likely to have a successful pregnancy next time. Statistics bear this out, as women who have had 1 mc have just a high a chance of a live healthy baby with their next pregnancy as women who have never had a mc. It's more than one that starts to bring that down.

I know you feel the doctor made the risks sounds bad, but my experience is that they didn;'t even mention the risks, which I think is worse. At least now you are able to do your own research and make an informed choice.

Just mull it all over, sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. You will know when you have reached the right decision for you because you will manage to peace a certain peace about it.

We are all different and there is no right answer as to how to do it or deal with it.

Hugs xxxx

SusanC_2

claire16c wrote: »

I asked about pain killers if if happens at home and the dr said taking paracetamol and ibuprofen should be ok. Would you ladies agree with that? Is it truly like bad period pains?

My first miscarriage (which happened at 7-8 weeks), I had no pain at all (which actually gave me false hope as everything I read implied you would definitely be in pain). I had spotting Fri-Tue with a scan on the Monday which showed a baby with a heartbeat. Bleeding then became progressively heavier and by the Thursday was like a heavy period and a scan on the Friday showed I had miscarried. Bleeding continued for about another week I think - fairly heavily at first and then tailed off. In terms of seeing the baby, it never occurred to me that the baby would be detectable and in actual fact it was only in retrospect that I realised that it probably had been as on the Sunday I went to the toilet just before going to church and loads of stuff came out. I was kind of in a rush and more thinking about the fact that that quantity would have been a bit of a disaster if I hadn't been on the toilet so just flushed without thinking and then only realised later that it was probably the baby. (In retrospect it was probably also silly that I carried on my normal day to day life including going out and I was lucky that it happened where it did and not out.)

The one at five months I did have some pain but much less than period pains - I think it just varies from person to person.