Miscarriage support

msb5262

abis21 wrote: »

There is no right or wrongs with miscarriage. It is a process of grief. Grief for the loss of your baby, and also the future you had planned for them.

This ^ ^ ^.

Such wise words.
Thanks abis21 - this should be engraved on a card and given to everyone who experiences miscarriage.

Best wishes to all

MsB

Toooldforthis

Am so sorry to hear claire. For me I had the ops...first time it started at home but I lost so much blood that I had clots blocking my cervix & I collapsed so it was the only choice in the end. The second I had gone to hospital for scan and then the bleeding happened so fast that I collapsed and again surgery was the only choice.
Take care and there is so much support and lovely people here ask anything and everyone will do their best for you I have received much comfort from the people here
Hugs for you x

fran-o

So sorry to hear your news Claire, be kind to yourself. The ladies here are very supportive and its a good space to get things off your chest, or ask questions too.

I had a missed miscarriage end of October (diagnosed by a dating scan at what I thought was probably 8 weeks). Because I didn't know my dates I had to have blood tests and a second scan to confirm, and so my ERPC was a full two weeks after the first dodgy scan. I was given the option of ERPC or 'wait and see' - I don't think the tablet option is available at my local hospital. I chose ERPC as I didn't think my emotions could handle waiting any longer. It was the right option for me and allowed me to sleep through what I worried would be the worst of the miscarriage. Having to wait for it was hard, but probably meant I was more able to deal with the process of it than if the grief of the miscarriage was still raw. If you have any questions about how it works, please ask, better to be prepared, especially if you have specific things you are worried about.

I had a long day today, full work day then went to covent garden to pick up some christmas shopping. When I got home hubby told me we've got an invite to his sisters bday party on new years eve. Over the weekend we had decided we didn't want to share NYE with anyone as its such a time of reflection and I know I will be really emotional. But we can't really say no (his sister has learning difficulties, is generally not able to empathise and doesn't know our situation). So we might make a compromise and go early and not stay too late.

All the best ladies x

TeamLowe

I had the medical management...
I went in on the Friday for the first tablet. it's oral and you take it in front of a nurse then have to wait around for twenty minutes to make sure it went down ok. this started heavy bleeding for me (had been spotting before) and then on the Sunday I passed the baby but didn't realise at the time. on the Monday I went . in for the second dose and was kept in so th they could observe what I passed- which basically meant that I had to pee and poop if I did one in a cardboard bowl for a nurse to inspect, as well as let her see my pads. in the afternoon I had a scan which confirmed I had passed everything and I was discharged.

for me it was a fairly pain free experience but I'm not one to get menstrual cramps plus my baby died at 5.5 weeks so was only teeny tiny least dignified thing in the world but I just wanted the quickest treatment I could get. I had already had to wait a week between scans to confirm the loss and would have had to wait another week for an ERPC which a nurse had really put me off anyway.

I was discharged with tramadol but didn't take it as I didn't have much pain x

claire16c

Wow thank you so much everyone for sharing your experiences. I'm seeing the dr at 2pm today (seems like a life time away I've been up all night, plus I started literally projectile vomiting yesterday evening I think half morning sickness I still have and half shock plus my stomach was so churned up from crying all day, plus a banging headache) . I think I'm actually more terrified of it happening naturally or with a tablet than the GA but still so scared of that too. I just don't think I could cope with passing the baby and possibly seeing it/ although I know for some ladies that is better for them. I'm also scared if I went for that option and it didn't all come out I might end up with the Erpc anyway. Ugh. Ill let you know what the dr says later on.0

maire1

I'm so sorry to hear your news Claire.

I have had 2 mcs, one natural and an mmc which I had an erpc with.

The natural one was at 6 weeks, about 2 weeks of bleeding.

I had the erpc in July after my baby died at 9 weeks. I had to stop eating and drinking at midnight. I went to hospital and was booked in etc then waited about an hour before being given a pessary to soften cervix. I went to theatre, they put a cannula in my hand and I went to sleep.

Woke up a bit crampy but didn't need painkillers and went home after an hour. Bled for a week.

I felt the erpc gave me closure and meant thd physical side of the pregnancy was all categorically over.

Do what's best for you. It does get easier and the pain does fade. Take care x

please-let-me-be-lucky

Morning Claire, sorry you've had a bad night but that's perfectly understandable.

It's amazing how much 'stuff' there actually is to come away so if that freaks you out then go for the ERPC. However, I still maintain you should choose what feels right for you. I was scared of being put to sleep but because of that I dragged it out for myself and ended up having it anyway. Perhaps I was just unlucky though.

The hospital told me they don't force a decision until 10 weeks have passed (due to risk of infection) so you are free to choose what is best for you up until that point. Good luck at 2pm Xx

TeamLowe

will be thinking of you Claire, hope the doctor is very helpful in helping you choose, i don't think there's any 'wrong' choices cos let's face it, it's all pretty pap x x

amus

claire16c wrote: »

Wow thank you so much everyone for sharing your experiences. I'm seeing the dr at 2pm today (seems like a life time away I've been up all night, plus I started literally projectile vomiting yesterday evening I think half morning sickness I still have and half shock plus my stomach was so churned up from crying all day, plus a banging headache) . I think I'm actually more terrified of it happening naturally or with a tablet than the GA but still so scared of that too. I just don't think I could cope with passing the baby and possibly seeing it/ although I know for some ladies that is better for them. I'm also scared if I went for that option and it didn't all come out I might end up with the Erpc anyway. Ugh. Ill let you know what the dr says later on.0

If this is your biggest worry in all honesty I would not recommend natural/medical management.

I lost mine in July at 9 weeks and opted for medical management because I was too scared to have a GA (didnt need it in the end as the baby came out naturally whilst waiting to have the first pill), but at that stage of gestation you do feel the baby come out. The only saving grace for me was because I felt it, I knew not to look, dont think I could have handled that.

Take care, its such an awful thing to have to make a decision on.

skintchick

In my experiences, if you pass everything into the toilet you won't see a thing.

With my last one I desperately wanted too see my baby so I passed everything into a bowl and I still didn't see it. I saw the sac in the bowl but did not have the courage to break it open to see my baby.

So from what I've been through five times if you don't want to see the baby you can easily avoid it at home.

Hope you can come to the right decision for you. It's very hard to decide. If you need more time then tell them that. There is no rush. This is a decision you need to be at peace with for the rest of your life. X x