Miscarriage support

Greener_Grass

huge hugs to those with recent losses, i know its cliche but it does get easier i promise xxx

5 months on from my loss and still have good days and bad days, most of the time i try not to think about it but when i do it hits me like ten ton of bricks

Toooldforthis

Its so hard ... my first would have been due in February the second in july (the same as kate I guess so I'll have to watch her progressing)
Im still experiencing cramps and emotionally well lets not go there! Trying to decide if to have another go as I am in my early 40's and as its been emergency both times do I put myself through it again ....... life eh it sucks ! X

Jox

I saw the gynae last night who said that as I've had 2 pregnancies then she doesn't see why I shouldn't have another one (let's see if I can keep it though).

She told me that she is looking after 2 women, one is 43 and one is 47 both pregnant.....

skintchick

Jox wrote: »

Sorry and hugs xx

There's a story in Daily Mail about how some women aren't treated with the sensitivity they need by hospitals after having a miscarriage

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2246669/Miscarriage-conveyor-belt-Women-depths-despair-treated-heartlessly-NHS-staff-says-watchdog.html

I could have told them that. I especially enjoyed during one of my miscarriages being told " well WE don't even know that you WERE pregnant" because I had passed baby by the time they would finally give me a scan.

brunettegirl

There's a story in Daily Mail about how some women aren't treated with the sensitivity they need by hospitals after having a miscarriage

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-watchdog.html

So so true especially in my case. there is no need for such insensitvity and abruptness. Like we don't feel bad enough adn already feel like we did something wrong to cause this without being made to feel like we really did!

Weirdly I do feel better about this than i did and not so much of a failure. Still very upset though which i hadn't realised till a passing aquaintance stopped to ask after my scan as I hadn't seen her since I almost cried on the spot there and then took a lot of self control to hold it together in a public place! Poor woman was mortified, would of been lousy if i had cried too!

My best friend got the same sad news yesterday at her 12 week scan baby died at around 8 weeks. So so sad and she is devasted.

Although I feel terrible for her it has helped me to normalise mine i think (does that sound really awful? I don't mean it too as I am very very sad for her loss) but I think I kind of feel like they really can effect anyone doesn't mean I am jinxed or was too smug about being pregnant/wasn't nuerotic enough if that makes any sense. As i have had lots of reasons floating around my head as to why it happened. Just one of those things isn't enough really - even though sometimes it really is.

SusanC_2

brunettegirl wrote: »

Although I feel terrible for her it has helped me to normalise mine i think (does that sound really awful? I don't mean it too as I am very very sad for her loss) but I think I kind of feel like they really can effect anyone doesn't mean I am jinxed or was too smug about being pregnant/wasn't nuerotic enough if that makes any sense. As i have had lots of reasons floating around my head as to why it happened. Just one of those things isn't enough really - even though sometimes it really is.

I don't think it sounds awful and I think it totally makes sense. The more rare it seems, the more "why me, what did I do wrong/is there womething wrong with me?" it can feel whereas if it's common, it can feel less like that.

fran-o

Sorry to hear about some of your bad experiences with the health service. I was lucky that I felt it was all handled with sensitivity, though there was room for improvement still.
After my midweek blues I got back on an even keel for the rest of the week and had a positive day yesterday. Rearranged living room and put up our xmas tree during the day and went for a girls night out (friends bday). Today awoke to first AF since ERPC - good to know body is getting back to normal and timing is what I would expect. But emotions a bit more wobbly today. The christmas thing is a bit tough and hubby and I chatted about new year and decided we'd stay in by ourselves as we (I) can't imagine trying to hold it together as we reflect on the last year and look forward to the next...
Have a good week all x

brunettegirl

i really feel for my friend she found out on thursday at her scan that baby had stopped growing, they made her wait till tomorrow before they will do the op. She is in bits! it is awful making her wait like this - not good for her mental health. they really should change the rules/procedures i think.

claire16c

Hi ladies. I found out today at my scan that the baby died at just over 8 weeks. HAve to go back tomorrow for an appt where they will explain what happens next but it's basically looking like a d&e. 3 weeks ago I was terrified of a blood test now I'm facing a miscarriage and general anaesthetic . Just can't stop thinking about the baby we saw on the screen too.

abis21

Awww Claire So sorry to hear your news

Did they go through the options with you? There is alternatives to the ERPC procedure if you are frightened of needles etc. My best friend is petrified of needles, so I have seen how hard it can be for people with this phobia.

Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself. If you want to chat, or have any questions please come on here. There are unfortunately lots of us who have some understanding of how you are feeling right now

Brunettegirl - Its awful the waiting. They let me have the operation the next day, but there were some concerns as when they scanned me I measured at 6weeks approx (even tho I should have been over 10 weeks) and thats about the cut off point as to whether you would definately be able to see a heartbeat. Even tho I was positive of my dates, they said there was a possibility I would have been sent home and had to come back a week later to see if there had been any growth. I can see why they wouldn't do an ERPC on someone if they weren't sure of their dates, but for me it would have just prolonged my agony

How are you doing today Fran? I changed my christmas plans too. I should have a 4 week old baby now, and be visiting the inlaws at the end of the week with a moses basket etc. So we're staying at home instead, and then I can be sad if I want to be. And I have a lovely new kitten to look after at home. The first AF is a wierd one emotionally. I was half looking forward to it, but then its such a reminder of what you are missing inside too