Miscarriage support

SusanC_2

budget_budd wrote: »

I actually cried in the car on the school run today when they started talking about odds on the baby's name, it just made me feel so sad that I have no idea whether my lost babies are boys or girls so they don't have names. That doesn't feel right.

:grouphug: You can still give them names if you want to. I gave the two I don't know the gender of gender neutral names. My friend had two unnamed so she decided one was a girl and one was a boy and picked accordingly. Whatever you want to do is totally fine.

brunettegirl

Hello Ladies,

I had the misfortune of going for my 20 week scan last thursday to be told there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 16 weeks. I had no telltale signs, no blood, no pains nothing was all a complete shock as far as i was aware i was progressing fine and having an ok time (was quite sick up till 14 weeks and then calmed down so i was relieved to feel normal) I was told I would have to deliver the baby not something i knew about or read about.

I won't bore you all with the gruesome details, sadly the hospital did not drug me up to the eyeballs as promised, we were left on our own for quite a long time, nor did any staff tell us about the side effects of the 2nd pill until I had them, so noone had said you could end up delivering baby on the toilet whilst having horrific diahrrea (Sorry for TMI) which is basically what happen, in a bed pan obviously. No one could of predicted that it would get stuck and not all come out, or that the the womb contracting medicine wouldn't work, or that i would hemorage quite a lot. In some ways the huge losss of blood was good as it helped to dislodge cord and plecenta so no theatre slot was needed. A shame that i had to scream the house down when the dr stuck some tools up to help it out before a midwife remembered that there was this amazing stuff called DRUGS that take pain away.

It would also of been nice if they could of explained about after pains, milk coming in and blood loss, but they didn't luckily i have had a baby so vaguely remember reading about 2nd time around body hurts more with shrinking pains, didn't realise i was enough pregnant for the milk leaking..... How long does this last does anyone know?

I am more traumatised about our treatment in hospital and the lack of understanding and all the hanging around and all the moving goal posts that I am not sure how I feel about the loss yet.

the pregnancy wasn't planned, we do already have a little boy who is 2.5 and i was unsure about this pregnancy, but really liked the idea of my boy having a brother.

Is there a set time to wait after a late miscarraige?

Very sorry for the really long post and sorry if it sounds horrible and bitter, but i am bitter and the whole procedure was a nightmare

But it could of been a lot worse xx

mel48rose

I'm so sorry for your loss and the awful treatment you received.
I wish you well for the future, you deserve it x

Metranil_Vavin

Oh goodness brunettegirl, I am so so sorry for your loss

It sounds as if you were treated appaulingly too. Why on earth didn't they give you drugs? I had diamorphine when I gave birth to my son, so it makes no sense that they wouldn't have made things as easy on that front for you as possible.

I have no advice I'm sorry to say as my first mc was 9 weeks, and my last two have been very early at about 4.5 weeks.

I hope you have been offered some counselling to help you though it?

Kitten_Pie

brunette girl, I am so sorry you have had to go through this and not had any advise.

With regards to your milk, it will last about 1-2weeks before settling down. Take painkillers if it gets painful. Wear a tight fitting bra, if you have one a size smaller even better. Try not to touch your breasts including when washing and it will settle down quicker.

Last October my sons were stillborn and I was unable to touch my tummy for ages, I had a mental block and my husband had to clean me. I found the bleeding afterward very traumatic and again my OH had to clean me. It is easier when you have a baby because there is a reason for it. When you come home from the hospital without your child and still have to deal with all the after stuff it is hard to handle.

All my love is with you, try and be with your family.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Oh my gosh brunettegirl, I'm so sorry for your loss and hospital experience.

I was told that once the whole evacuation procedure was complete, AF would take around 6-8 weeks to return and from a dating point of view it is best to wait until after this cycle to try to conceive. This is because growth problems etc may not be spotted if dates aren't exact, or indeed problems may be highlighted where actually there aren't any and this causes undue stress.

I was also told though that fertility is higher in the 6 months following mc, so fingers crossed you will fall pg quickly.

I miscarried 9 weeks ago and my emotions have been all over the place (though admittedly this could be because it took til last week to actually have an empty womb!). Please give yourself time to adjust in this way too though, and don't underestimate how much it will all 'mess with your head' for want of a better phrase.

Big hugs Xx

Toooldforthis

Hi I'm back again :-( I should have been at least 9 weeks and was worries as thats when i miscarried last time so we booked a private scan ... The baby stopped growing at 7 weeks... No heart beat :-( ... Have to go to hospital tomorrow as was really poorly last time ... Sorry if I'm rambling :-(

please-let-me-be-lucky

Sorry for your loss Toooldforthis. You aren't rambling but you are entitled to if you want to. Hope all goes as well as it can tomorrow Xx

SusanC_2

brunettegirl wrote: »

Hello Ladies,

I had the misfortune of going for my 20 week scan last thursday to be told there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 16 weeks. I had no telltale signs, no blood, no pains nothing was all a complete shock as far as i was aware i was progressing fine and having an ok time (was quite sick up till 14 weeks and then calmed down so i was relieved to feel normal) I was told I would have to deliver the baby not something i knew about or read about.

I won't bore you all with the gruesome details, sadly the hospital did not drug me up to the eyeballs as promised, we were left on our own for quite a long time, nor did any staff tell us about the side effects of the 2nd pill until I had them, so noone had said you could end up delivering baby on the toilet whilst having horrific diahrrea (Sorry for TMI) which is basically what happen, in a bed pan obviously. No one could of predicted that it would get stuck and not all come out, or that the the womb contracting medicine wouldn't work, or that i would hemorage quite a lot. In some ways the huge losss of blood was good as it helped to dislodge cord and plecenta so no theatre slot was needed. A shame that i had to scream the house down when the dr stuck some tools up to help it out before a midwife remembered that there was this amazing stuff called DRUGS that take pain away.

It would also of been nice if they could of explained about after pains, milk coming in and blood loss, but they didn't luckily i have had a baby so vaguely remember reading about 2nd time around body hurts more with shrinking pains, didn't realise i was enough pregnant for the milk leaking..... How long does this last does anyone know?

I am more traumatised about our treatment in hospital and the lack of understanding and all the hanging around and all the moving goal posts that I am not sure how I feel about the loss yet.

the pregnancy wasn't planned, we do already have a little boy who is 2.5 and i was unsure about this pregnancy, but really liked the idea of my boy having a brother.

Is there a set time to wait after a late miscarraige?

Very sorry for the really long post and sorry if it sounds horrible and bitter, but i am bitter and the whole procedure was a nightmare

But it could of been a lot worse xx

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the horrific hospital experience you had. I had a loss at a similar stage and it took until three weeks after the birth for the milk to settle down enough that the soreness did not disturb my sleep and I didn't notice any milk effects after about five weeks. I didn't have leaking but I did get let downs sometimes if out and someone else's baby cried.

I don't remember being told or seeing any information on how long to wait - I waited three months because I suffer from hyperemesis gravidarum and so needed to time to recover and prepare for having it again. I also needed an emotional break from being pregnant too but if I hadn't had those two factors I probably would have started trying straight away and I do know of people who have done after a late loss.

TeamLowe

brunette girl I'm so sorry for your loss and your treatment. hope you and your partner are coping ok x