Miscarriage support

lemonmelon_2

Hi Claire,

I'm so sos sorry that you're having to go through this and it such a tough decision to make when you dont want either.
I have had three miscarriages, two of them I managed naturally at home and the third I had an ERPC for In October so I have seen both sides of it.
I found the natural miscarriages quite hard but it was the right option for me at the time and I managed both without medical intervention and with just paracetamol and ibruprofen. It was quite emotional though to see the sac pass.
When I had my third one it was the same as yours, only discovered when I went for my scan and the baby had died a couple of weeks before. At that point I couldn't bear waiting knowing my baby was dead so I initially opted for medical management. But when I went home and let it sink in I was just way too upset to deal with anything else and I knew how emotional I had found it to miscarry naturally. I decided to have an ERPC because I needed the numbness of it to have someone else look after me and just get on with grieving for my baby without having to go through anything else. I felt bad about it at the time, like I'd not been strong enough but it was the right decision for me and I'm so glad that I did.
I know we cant make a decision for you, I just hope you can make the decision that's the best option for you, it doesn't have to be right for anyone else and you don't need to justify it.
I'm so sorry again, it breaks by heart to hear

skintchick

claire16c wrote: »

I'm scared for the opposite reason- I'm underweight compared to most people so I'm scared they'll give me too much because I weigh less than I look!

Plus general fears of having the needle thing in my arm, people touching my body when I'm asleep etc

They will weigh you so they know exactly how much you weigh.

The needle only lasts a few seconds, and they won;t touch you sweetie! THey will be very respectful of your body. THey will just do what they need to do.

HTH a bit xxxx

lemonmelon_2

Claire - I'm the same, I have had quite a few surgeries under GA and some of them I have been quite underweight for but I was able to chat with the anaesthetist first and raise any concerns - they are normally really good and will weigh you first anyway, not just go by how heavy you look.

claire16c

skintchick wrote: »

YEs, that's the [STRIKE]hellhole [/STRIKE]place.

Out the lifts, turn left, through the double doors then sit on the left.

The only time I've spent less than two hours sitting there is the time I walked out because I was sick to death of them faffing about making me wait to give blood to ensure it wasn't ectopic when I'd already passed the baby but of course, what would i know?

Bitter, much? Hell yeah.

I hate that place. It's dirty and badly run by insincere, uncaring incompetent staff.

Sorry, but I've had many hideous experiences there. And so has my friend. We neither of us have much time for Sonning.

Ugh what a nightmare. The nurse let us sit in this bit on the left because she said to me if it gets too much for you to wait in the waiting room just call me and you can come in here, so I said can I stay here now? And she said of course darling I will get your partner for you and then she shut the curtains for us. Just hoping she's there tomorrow.

I really hope the people you had to deal with aren't there anymore!

claire16c

Skint chick your post makes total sense.

I think our minds are extremely powerful, it can't be a coincidence that since the scan, it only took 24 hours for all the bloating in my stomach to go away so my bump is now tiny, morning sickness to go and spotting to start, so perhaps my fear is holding the rest back.

Aah I don't know what to do. I think I will go tomorrow, ask questions, but before I go to bed tonight I will do something along the lines of what you suggest & see if anything happens in the night.

skintchick

Sounds like you have a plan. Hope you feel a bit happier with your decisions. And I'm glad your experience with Sonning has been nothing like mine.

X x c

clare1angel

Hello Everyone,

Please forgive me for not reading all the posts but I have very recently had a miscarriage and I just feel like I need to write it down and get it out there if that's makes sense to anyone?
I found out on 2nd October that I was pregnant and I was so happy as we hadn't really been trying too long - I had come off the pill in April after being on it for around 10 years - so was over the moon.
My hubby was also chuffed and we didn't tell anyone until I had been for my 1st midwives appointment on 7th November when I was just over 9 weeks.
Then on 17th/18th November I was having brownish stringy discharge but not much and only when I wiped - but not every time so I phoned my midwife and she said not to worry unless it was bright red blood.
Then on 20th November I had the bright red blood :-( There was no pain just a sudden wet feeling and then I bled from there. I called the emergency midwife who was kind enough but basically said that because there was no pain and because I wasn't bleeding excessively that there wasn't really anything they could do but that I should contact my midwife in the morning which I did.
She got me an appointment at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit for the 22nd November.
I was just a total wreck and was praying against all hope that everything would be ok but after an external and internal scan all hope faded.
The sac was still there but no baby or heartbeat could be detected :-(
Because I believed I was nearly 12 weeks and the scan showed a measurement of less I had to wait a week to ensure there was no growth which was actual torture.
When I returned to the EPAU a week later I had to have the internal and external scans again which showed no growth :-(
They then explained the choices I had - Natural, Medical Management or Surgical. I'm petrified of being put to sleep so chose the route of natural which meant I went home and waited 2 weeks to see what happened..... Well not a lot happened and I actually stopped bleeding about 5 days before I returned to the EPAU.
Anyway fast forward to 13th December and a 3rd external and internal scan which showed the empty sac was still there so I then decided to go for the medical management.
I had my 1st tablet on 16th and returned on 18th for the 2nd part of the treatment.
My hubby and I got there for 8.30am and I had the pessary tablets around 9.30am and just had to wait.....
I wasn't prepared for the contractions/pains that came it was unreal :-( At about 12pm they gave me a couple of painkillers but after 2 hours I was getting very upset and buzzed to see if I could have anymore.
Whilst the nurse went for more painkillers I went to the toilet and realised the pain was not coming as it had been and felt the urge to push a little and out came the sac and the pain just disappeared.
I was left for a little while and then I was given some anti-biotics and an anti d injection and was told as soon as I felt able I could go home.
It was all very emotional and painful - physically and mentally.
I just wasn't prepared for the actual pain of the contractions :-(
It's now 2 days later and I feel more of an emotional wreck than on Tuesday I just can't get my head around everything.
I'm sorry if I've gone on too much but just needed some kind of release I hope you all understand.

Clare* :A

msb5262

Hi Clare,
You are very welcome here but I'm so sorry you have to join us, if you see what I mean.
Hopefully you'll find this a good place to talk and vent and grieve and ask questions. It sounds as if it's all been a very intense experience for you; I'm not surprised you feel overwhelmed.
How are you feeling now physically? And how is your husband doing?
Best wishes
MsB

SusanC_2

Hi Clare, I'm sorry for your loss and it's totally fine for you to share however much you need to. We've all been there so we understand.

mishkanorman

claire16c,


just wanted to share my experience of last year. I had a termination and had only been given the option of medical rather than surgical.

I had been given the first pill and told to return the next day for the second, that evening I started getting cramps which lasted all night. They were mild enough that I didnt take any pain medication. I passed a small amount of bloody discharge and after contacting the hospital was told to stay at home unless i was in agony as nothing would happen without the 2nd pill. I took my children to school as normal and as i was there my waters broke, the pain was sudden and i briefly blacked out, they called an ambulance for me and I was taken straight up to the ward. The cramps were increasing and were painful but not unbareable, I was examined and told i had passed the baby.

I wish it hadnt happened in such a traumatic way and I was able to know that i could prepare mentally, have a timescale so that i could deal with it all without the what the hell is happening to me moments and panic.

I realise it will be different for you but i thought it may give you another perspective to consider, i hope you find the right choice for you.