Miscarriage support

claire16c

Thanks mischa. I haven't been offered the medical
Option but from reading yours and others experiences I'm not sure I'd take it but its always good to hear another perspective.

Clare, believe me I know what you are going through. You should keep posting if it helps you Xx

fran-o

Clare - so sorry for your loss, and difficult experiences. The mental and emotional side can be tough, so be kind to yourself and take it a day at a time x

Claire - hope you have a better day tomorrow. Perhaps take a notebook with you so you can write things down as it can be hard to take it all in. Just an aside, I think you mentioned in a previous post about getting your cycles back to normal post-mc as yours are irregular. Mine are quite irregular too, and at least 5wks long. I waited one year from coming off pill to falling pregnant and had 7 cycles in that time. However post-mc I started first cycle just over 5wks from ERPC so it does seem to be back to normal pattern.

Big hugs to you all x

claire16c

They told me not to eat after 8am so Ive just eaten some toast and now on here for 10 mins before I get ready to leave the house at 9, as I feel like I might throw it up if I dont distract myself.

Normally I would hate not being able to eat for hours but totally lost my appetite since Monday. Got an upset stomach too think its nerves as the pregnancy completely slowed my digestive system down before which was actually great as I have IBS - another bad thing to look forward to as Im sure that will come back now

I think I will end up going through with it because firstly nothing much has happened and secondly I dont think I can take the waiting anymore. I just want to get it over with and start ovulating as soon as possible again.

Im still so scared though. They start the ops at 1.30pm, but visitors after initially dropping you off at 10am have to leave- and cant come back until 2pm. I told the dr on Monday I would refuse to do it if it was before 2pm, so she said she would let them know and there were 2 ladies already on the list so it should be ok anyway. But Ive told DH and my mum to get there at 1.30 just to sit in the waiting room that way if for some reason I was called early, I cant see why they wouldnt let them in for 5 mins to see me, if they didnt then Id just refuse to go ahead. So I really dont want to be having a fight on my hands today.

So I am dreading being there for at least 4 hours by myself because if DH was there he could keep me chatting etc. I think the ward is female only - and I guess the no visitors in that respect is a good thing as I dont want to be seeing men wandering about, but I dont see why you cant just pull the curtains if you have them to stop that.

Just so worried Im going to be sick now.

DH has gone to work so one of my parents is going to take me.

clare1angel

Hi MsB,

I'm feeling ok apart from a few stomach cramps nothing too painful though just like mild periods pains really but I just want the bleeding to stop!!! I know my body is just sorting itself out but I've been bleeding since I took the 1st tablet and I know it can take a while to stop but I just see the bleeding stopping as an end to the physical side of things.
Thank you so much for asking after my husband I think a lot of people tend to forget about the husband/boyfriend/partner but they are going through this as well. He has been very supportive and caring and we have talked a lot about what has happened and about trying again.
I would like to try again and so would my husband but he is very concerned for my welfare and whether I would cope if the unfortunate was to happen again.
I'm going through different emotions everyday and I guess that will carry on for a while. I tried to explain it to a friend who asked how I was that it's a bit like when someone dies - I know it's not the same but bear with me - you have so much emotion but it generally doesn't hit you until after the funeral when everything is finished if you get what I mean? It's like because I went for the natural management and then tablets it's gone on for a while so my concentration has been somewhere else but now everything is gone and I haven't got to go back to the hospital it's like it's hit me for the first time :-(
I'm trying to hold it together because that's what I've always done in life but it's when I'm on my own with nothing to do that it gets to me - that's why my house has had a big clear out and clean over the last few weeks!!!
Well thank you ladies for your messages and I hope I don't offend or upset anyone with the things I write because that is not my intention I just think I'm better at expressing myself through writing on here than I am with actually trying to talk to someone other than my hubby.

Hope everyone is ok today xx

Clare*

clare1angel

Hi claire16c,

Just wanted to wish you all the best and I'm sure everything will be fine xx

mrsj28

claire16c - thinking of you today xxx

clare1angel - so sorry to hear of your loss, and don't worry about offending/upsetting - I'm sure you won't, and everybody has such a different range of feelings and emotions after a miscarriage, and it can really help to write them down. This is a very supportive board.

msb5262

Hello all,

It is an amazing thing to see how this thread gathers people together, each with their own experience and their own perspective...very uplifting though in a sad way.

Claire - hope you are feeling a bit calmer now you're at the hospital. It can be a helpful thing to be among people whose job it is to care for you and it sounds as if they were lovely to you the other day. Hope it all goes straightforwardly, let us know how you are doing.

Clare - thanks for your response. It sounds as if things are moving on with you but it is going to take a while. Your husband sounds really great and I'm so glad you are talking about it all; it's the only way. Take care of yourself and of each other, and don't be afraid to cry and take as long as it takes. You feel very sad and lost, and it doesn't fade instantly.

Love to everyone

MsB x

claire16c

clare1angel wrote: »

I tried to explain it to a friend who asked how I was that it's a bit like when someone dies - I know it's not the same but bear with me - you have so much emotion but it generally doesn't hit you until after the funeral when everything is finished if you get what I mean? It's like because I went for the natural management and then tablets it's gone on for a while so my concentration has been somewhere else but now everything is gone
Clare*

For me that's exactly how it is and it's fine if you feel like that. This is just as bad if not worse for me than when my grandparents have died who I was very close to.

MsB you are right. I'm in the hospital now and the lovely lady next to me has said she will swap places so DH will be here by the time they're ready- I think she wants to get it over with. Bizarrely the blankets and pattern on the firm reminds me of being in my Nans bedroom so it's weirdly comforting.

msb5262

I'm so glad to hear that things are going ok for you Claire - I know exactly what you mean by "weirdly comforting". For me the whole hospital thing felt quite nurturing; it helped me to accept what had happened and to feel cared for by the system.

Take care honey, keep us posted

MsB x

claire16c

msb5262 wrote: »

I'm so glad to hear that things are going ok for you Claire - I know exactly what you mean by "weirdly comforting". For me the whole hospital thing felt quite nurturing; it helped me to accept what had happened and to feel cared for by the system.

Take care honey, keep us posted

MsB x

They've given me the pecessary, I heard the anaesthetist say to give me a paediatric dose of paracetamol as I don't weigh much at the moment I hope it's enough when the pains start as it feels like they're coming on now.