Miscarriage support

claire16c

Hi new cook. I'm dreading when I know my 20 week scan would have been & it's not for another 2 months I can't help torturing myself at the moment.

Feel like all I've done today is sleep cry & eat. I just can't shift the sickness feeling its driving me insane.

I hope everyone manages to have an ok day tomorrow x

claire16c

Hope everyone got through today and yesterday ok. I burst into tears at Christmas dinner, but managed to eat it after a hug from DH, cried twice that afternoon but then managed to have some fun too. Today I got upset when I saw my nan & uncle & aunt but then managed to hold it together the rest of the day -just. Now back home & going to wash my hair, most likely another cry then watch a film & go to bed.

Really don't think I am ready to go back to work next week so going to see if I can ring up & get a drs appt for Monday so if I'm still a mess then I can ask them to sign me off for another week. I'm going to hand my notice in when I email them my sick note & frankly I can't face doing that in person either right now, let alone getting in my car & driving to the place, but I don't want to wait til I go back to do it or my notice period will be strung out even longer.

I just need a fresh start.

Abbafan1972

Big hugs to everyone who has been affected by this, I've been through it myself.

Claire16c - Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you handing your notice in at work?

maire1

I have found Christmas unbearable. Two ladies at work are expecting (it's a v small place of work) and keep turning the staff room conversation to baby talk even though they know of my two recent mcs. Of course they have every right to be excited but a little sensitivity wouldn't go amiss!

Things are tense between dh and I. I am desperate to be pg again and he's a bit too laid back about it for my liking. He doesn't seem to understand the urgency regarding my diabetes, where I've been advised 'the sooner the better'. Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Tbh I'm a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment.

Hoping for a better 2013. Who's with me? X

claire16c

Oh issues before I got pg. I think about 50% of the workplace has left recently. My job was ok but it's just become rather depressing to work there now & I've got an idea for a new job I can carry on doing once I've had a baby which I can't do with my current one.

Why were you wondering?

claire16c

So thought I would post my ERPC story.

I went in at 10am, the receptionist said 'you look a bit pale are you ok?' Cue crying and me saying Im just upset! am I supposed to have a sun tan in December? I think she thought I was like ill or something.

Anyway she took me straight to the ward which only had 5 beds in so nice and small, and my dad who had taken me, so DH could go to work that morning, was allowed to stay with me until the nurse came round to admit us.

There were 4 of us, although one lady got wheeled in on a bed so I think must have been in the night before or something. The other 3 of us all started crying when our visitors had to leave. I said to them I wouldnt go through with it if they started the operations before the visiting hours started again at 2pm so this really lovely lady in the bed next to me heard and offered to switch positions with me because she wanted to get it over with I think.

Then a couple of nurses went round to each of us, took our pulse (mine sky high again with stress) blood pressure etc and we got changed into the gowns. Then I just got under the sheet and blanket in my dressing gown and tried to read a magazine but it wasnt distracting me at all, so my SIL started texting me to try to keep me from freaking out and just played I spy, interrupted most of the time by me sending her messages about how sad and worried I was.

Then the anaesthestist came round, he was so so lovely. Asked how I was before getting onto anything medical, and then I asked him all my questions about how I was worried hed give me too much because Id lost weight recently and people think I weigh more than I do because I seem to have light bones or something! And then I was also worried he wouldnt give me enough because Id read stories about people waking up in operations but being paralysed.

Anyway he took me seriously but with a smile, and went through all my concerns. He was so so good with me. He also said hed give me a sickness med to take before which Im glad I did as the girl next to me felt pretty sick when she woke up but I was fine.

Then the surgeon came around, and she was really like short - as in attitude so I was too scared to ask her some of my questions, and just said stupid stuff like 'do you do this all the time?' and 'it only takes 5 mins right?' To which she laughed and said no ten.

She just had a weird attitude, and not a particularly good bedside manner. Then she put this pecessary/tablet up you which wasnt pleasant but no worse than a smear test, to get your cervix to dilate so after a while I started getting period pains. I was texting my SIL about how I felt like running out the place then and felt like I was strapped into a rollercoaster but couldnt get off (just like you said skint chick), but she was good and text me back to say stay where you are woman or youll get ill, youll be fine!!

Then because me and this girl were 3rd and 4th on the list we were thinking where are the painkillers as the tablets were starting to kick in and we had an hour to go before being taken down. And all the nurses had disappeared and the other 2 ladies had been taken to theatre already.

Then the nurse came round, finally with the tablets. Then the other girl got taken down, and just before that DH and my Mum arrived. Then 30 mins later bang on time I thought oh god I can hear them coming with the wheelchair to take me and felt really anxious and started crying.

The guy who was the porter was really lovely though and the nurse was holding my hand. Then when I got to the room with the anaesthetist in I started freaking out again crying and shaking, and the nurse said to him Claires a bit anxious, and he said Dont worry, I know, its all going to be ok, youre in safe hands.

Then he said Ill put the line in now so its over with, and then as they were taking my blood pressure I felt my hand going tingly - not that theyd started anything yet, and the anaethestist said dont worry its just because youre so anxious. Then I started to feel like I was fainting! (I must be the worst patient ever ) and this other anaesthetist came in and said is everything ok? and I said no I think Im fainting! So he tipped the bed back and then I started to feel better. Then I said is it ok if I faint? - Honestly I worry about everything! Then he said yes its actually better so no worries! Then said Ill give you something to help what drink do you like?

I said wine, so he said ok this will be like a couple of glasses of that. Then said they said breathe in this oxygen, put the mask on my face, and I remember breathing in twice thinking I really cant get of this now! and that was it.

Then felt like Id had a really nice relaxing sleep and woke up in recovery to a nurse gently shaking my arm. I then said Id had a dream about christmas shopping and couldnt stop laughing for about 5 minutes and non stop chatting to her.

Then after I dont know maybe 30 mins they wheeled me back to the ward. Waking up in a happy giggly relaxed state was so nice I could have stayed there all night like that.

Then after the fun bit of shifting myself on my bed without the massive pad falling off lol, managed to sit in bed for a while, read a magazine, and then a nurse came round with drinks and toast. Got DH to take me to the loo to get my pants on and do a wee as they wouldnt let you leave otherwise.

Stayed there til about 7.30pm, another nurse came round to take the cannula out which I wasnt looking forward to, but I couldnt feel a thing!

Then got dressed. Then a dr came round, she said they were sure they got everything out so no worries about having to go back again.

She said I could try again as soon as I wanted although they recommend 1 cycle for dating purposes.

I said I was worried about pcos but she said they couldnt see any cysts on my ovaries so dont think its that. Said it could be hyper thyroidism as my pulse was high and Im so slim but I think that was anxiety and my weight is just genetics.

So who knows about my long cycles. All I can do now is try to ttc around them and carry on trying like I was before.

Plus she said at the end of the day you got pregnant so they cant be that messed up so to speak. Got home, took 1 ibuprofen for a small bit of cramping but that was gone by the next day.

So thats it I guess. Ive stopped bleeding I think today so very happy about that.

msb5262

Well done Claire - thank you for posting that account, I think it will help other people and also I'm glad to know that you got some good TLC and are feeling a bit better altogether.


To everyone on this thread...
seasonal greetings and very best wishes for 2013. May all your dreams come true.


love from MsB x

SusanC_2

Thank you for sharing Claire.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thanks for sharing Claire, I'm sure that will help someone in the future. My ERPC was very similar apart from we had to be there at 7am, DH was allowed to stay the whole time, I had op at 9am and was allowed home by 2pm.

Can I ask for an opinion from everyone please? I've already posted my continuing mc saga a few pages ago on this thread but a quick recap;

M/C'd on 4th Oct at 10 weeks, baby had stopped growing at about 7 weeks I think.
Opted for natural mc but 5 weeks later still not complete despite lots of bleeding etc.
Had medical management but still did not lose all tissue despite lots of bleeding.
Had ERPC on 27th nov, almost 9 weeks after mc started. Bled for 10 days afterwards, very heavily and turned out I had an infection. Blood loss was pretty immense and I was on strong antibiotics.
Stopped bleeding for about a week and then got what I thought was AF on 15th December.
Still bleeding today, 12 days later (normal Af is 5-7days for me). So that's almost 12 weeks of continuos (ish) bleeding.

Would you get checked out or wait a bit longer?

claire16c

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Thanks for sharing Claire, I'm sure that will help someone in the future. My ERPC was very similar apart from we had to be there at 7am, DH was allowed to stay the whole time, I had op at 9am and was allowed home by 2pm.

Can I ask for an opinion from everyone please? I've already posted my continuing mc saga a few pages ago on this thread but a quick recap;

M/C'd on 4th Oct at 10 weeks, baby had stopped growing at about 7 weeks I think.
Opted for natural mc but 5 weeks later still not complete despite lots of bleeding etc.
Had medical management but still did not lose all tissue despite lots of bleeding.
Had ERPC on 27th nov, almost 9 weeks after mc started. Bled for 10 days afterwards, very heavily and turned out I had an infection. Blood loss was pretty immense and I was on strong antibiotics.
Stopped bleeding for about a week and then got what I thought was AF on 15th December.
Still bleeding today, 12 days later (normal Af is 5-7days for me). So that's almost 12 weeks of continuos (ish) bleeding.

Would you get checked out or wait a bit longer?

I wish I'd been allowed to have someone with me- being left on my own wasn't actually as bad as I imagined & the time flew because I was dreading it but it made me panic about it before hand.

The only good thing about it was it meant the ward was very private I guess.

I would say if you are worried get it checked because there is no harm in doing that. I would guess its just a bad AF but I'd be worried about iron levels etc?