Miscarriage support

abis21

Hi VK. Sorry for the late reply

Have you taken a pregnancy test since the bleeding and confirmed that it is negative now?

Did you go to an early pregnancy unit for a scan after the bleeding? Normally they like to confirm the miscarriage, and also that everything has passed, as if anything is left in it can cause an infection which is quite bad. Not wanting to worry you, and its an awful thing to think about - but sometimes you can bleed heavily but not everything is cleared If you are getting a negative on a pregnancy test that is a good sign that everything has cleared tho.

Your pregnancy was real, its just sadly it is also over for some people so quickly. And if you didn't need medical intervention, I suppose its harder in some ways as there is no-one there to give advice.

Lots of hugs for you. So sorry you find yourself in this position. One of the best pieces of advice I got was to be kind to myself, and skint is totally right - you will be grieving and different people grieve in different ways.

xxx

As for the medical treatment / communication some of you are getting - its awful. I must say where I am, the communication was fab. My EPU is Scunthorpe and the consultant lady there I spoke to sorted everything, she cancelled the midwife appt, checked whether I had signed up for bounty packs, led me out an altrnative exit so I didn't have to go back through the waiting room full of bumps. I had my own private waiting room so I could cry when I wanted to. I thought everything was handled so sensitively, I was surprised. I did already have my NHS exemption certificate through the post tho, but she couldn't have helped that.

fran-o

Hugs to you VK. It does sound like a good idea to phone your GP or Early Pregnancy Unit for some advice. Take care and as Abi said - be kind to your self x

skintchick

Hi VK, yes I would agree that you had a miscarriage. I'm so sorry for your loss. How are you feeling now?

And how is everyone else?

I'm doing OK. Got my bunion op on Monday next week so waiting to TTC again. Just got asked to go to Barbados next April but can't go cos I can't afford to lose TTC time! Because I need extra care in the first tri I cannot go away during that period and I can't commit to go in case I don;'t get PG first time we try in Jan. So annoying as I would love to go!

Nicki

Good luck with the bunion op skintchick. Hope you are skipping around soon on your Manolo Blahniks

fran-o

Good luck with the bunion op skintchick, hope you are being well looked after.

I'm feeling ok. ERPC nearly three weeks ago now and physical symptoms almost finished. Blues are lifting too though I still have ups and downs of course. Hubby keeps talking about holidays in springtime,to give us a boost and something to look forward to. However I feel similar to you skintchick, that TTC will take priority and then we can think about hols later... At the same time, the idea of TTC scares me stiff, frightened of getting back on the rollercoaster after such a difficult experience... But the good thing is we're talking to each other about all this stuff and being honest.

We have booked a minibreak (very Bridget Jones!) to Oxford next weekend for a change of scenery and will visit a friend we haven't seen a while too.

How is everyone? x

lemonmelon_2

Skintchick - hope your bunion op goes well and you can get back to ttc, it is so difficult to put your life on hold with waiting and then being pregnant and then not being pregnant and then waiting again. I feel like I've lost so much time and not got any further forward. I think I've lost confidence that there will be anything beyond this for us too but that doesn't stop me wishing.

Thinking of your fran, enjoy your break, I hope it does you good to get away, and budget budd- sending big hugs.

I'm really struggling with jealousy at the moment. I'm genuinely happy for other ladies that are pregnant and I dont want their babies, I want my own but I still can't help feeling a bit green-eyed-monster and its such a horrible feeling I wish I could stop it.

emylou

lemonmelon I know exactly how you feel- my SIL is pregnant & due 22nd January- they caught just after their miscarriage (before mine) & I am so happy for them & I don't want their baby I just wish I was still pregnant! And I felt surrounded by pregnant women & babies today!

It should have been my due date on Thursday 29th November & I'm really struggling to cope, I just want to hide away & well I don't know but I don't know how to "be strong", "move on" etc etc I just want my baby

SusanC_2

emylou wrote: »

It should have been my due date on Thursday 29th November & I'm really struggling to cope, I just want to hide away & well I don't know but I don't know how to "be strong", "move on" etc etc I just want my baby

:grouphug:

skintchick

Huge hugs emylou, that is such a hard feeling.

I forgot to mention that the counselling I've been having over the last couple of months has been fantastic. At first I didn't think it was doing much but now I am at the end of ti I can really see how much I've moved on and managed to let go. It has really helped. I'd recommend having some.

Mine was with Reading Lifeline, a specific pregnancy-loss counselling charity and they've been great.

emylou

I did visit a counsellor that I visited last yr just for a one off session bt will look into that one you mention skintchick thank you.

Cried myself to sleep last night with OH cuddling & soothing me, now woken feeling sick & cried some more and not sure I can get through the day. I know I probably can & will but really not sure a classroom of children will be a good place for me right now but don't want to let my staff down either?!