Miscarriage support

fran-o

Budget budd, please be kind to yourself, we all cope differently, we all react in different ways, but all our feelings are valid and real. So don't feel bad or like you have to make an excuse for how you are feeling. I can't imagine going through this while trying to look after a family too. I have some days where I just get on ok, others where I'm sad and wobbly all day, I'm three weeks on from having mc confirmed, I thought I'd be feeling better than this by now, but have realised that you can't predict or plan your feelings and there is no set timescale for feeling better. Can you tell I've had a glass of wine (first in two months!!)?
Take care x

budget_budd

Thank you fran-o, Im having a little cry now. (again)

Maybe I need some wine, my doctor did say its not a bad thing to have a little drink!

Doctors orders :beer:

SusanC_2

Budget, people cope in different ways - I don't think you can necessarily say some are better. After my last loss, it took me more than a month to manage to get dressed and clean my teeth twice all in the same day. Six months later I had to pull over in the car to cry on the way home from a party because there'd been a baby there born not long after my due date and I hadn't been expecting it so was unprepared. (If I knew beforehand it was easier as I could mentally prepare.) if I hadn't already had a child I probably wouldn't have even got up each day but I forced myself to maintain some semblance of normality for her sake. But outwardly when peope saw me I probably seemed fine - I put on a good front. However you are coping is the best way for *you* to cope and it doesn't matter what anyone else does.

any_name_will_suffice

Budget_Budd, it's ok and quite normal to be angry.

With my first mc earlier in the year, I had three weeks off work. I was lucky to have a very supportive manager, and waited until I was ready before trying to return to work. ( this time I realise I needed more time but rushed back too early)

I remember trying to by some underwear whilst I was off to go under a bridesmaid dress, and had to go to another shop because the lady in the cubicle was buying maternity bras, and explaining to the lady doing the fitting how big her pregnancy boobs were. Suddenly I had to leave very quickly.

It's ok to feel the way you do xx

budget_budd

Thank you Susan C and Any name for your kind words and support.

I guess I am going to need more time, and I need to stop beating myself up because I cry at the smallest thing and I am not able to do a lot. Im not even going to think about work until I can think about myself properly. I might discover just how supportive my workplace are.....

portsmouthali

I had two crappy things happen this week. My NHS maternity exemption card arrived, and I had a call from the midwives office to arrange my 12 week scan. I really needed reminding about that little milestone! I'm pretty sure this has happened with every miscarriage and it's frankly rubbish. It didn't upset me as I was half expecting it but it still sucks.

I am finding being back at work very helpful this time, as I feel like I need to keep busy, but it hasn't always been the case - with my 3rd loss I couldn't bear the thought of seeing anyone from work for weeks & weeks. Despite seeming like I'm back to normal I do have days when I cry over anything & everything

I am also finding Pinot Grigio is helping enormously :whistle:

Hugs to you all xxxxxx

budget_budd

:grouphug::grouphug: Hugs Ali, thats two things you really didn't need!

I refused to send for my exemption card until after my 12 weeks scan and then I didn't need to anyway, so I ripped it up along with all the other stuff I had been given. It was quite theraputic. I had to hide my notes because I wanted to rip them up as well.

That is very rubbish of the midwives, I don't think Id even be able to speak to them. I admit to not answering my phone to anyone. (not even my mum - I am still a bit mad with her!)

Here's hoping for more good days for everyone. xxxx

fran-o

I had a good day today, went to a conference and was one of the speakers. Was presenting with a colleague I like and it all went really well. Was nice to have a positive at work to give me a boost as have recently lost a lot of confidence at work - feeling tired and miserable and not being able to keep up with it all.
But home now and I have a tummy ache. Suspect it's indigestion/ IBS rather than anything more sinister, might take an ibuprofen before bed.
Sorry to hear about crappy nhs blunders. Such tactless mistakes. I work for nhs (I work for a charity linked to a hospital) and experience the difficulties of communications between departments in such a massive organisation. I can see it getting worse with the government cuts etc too. But it's devastating on a personal level when they get it so wrong.
Best wishes to all x

skintchick

Oh that kind of thing has happened to me with every one of my miscarriages. The NHS just doesn't talk to itself! It is appalling and unacceptable IMO.

As for how long to recover - let's face it, we never recover from losing our children, we just get better at dealing with it, and that can take months or years, a few weeks is nothing really and no-one need feel that they 'should' be recovering in a certain way.

Loss and grief do not operate to a timescale.

VK-2008

hey looking to see if anyone similar to myself, (to confirm i had a m/c) i had faint positive pg test at 4-5 weeks, i seen doctor at 6 to advise them they told me to come back later when further on for more tests - at 8 weeks i then bled heavy and thereafter had a regular period - would you guys agree this was a m/c i never had medical treatment thereafter and it makes me feel like what happened didnt happen if that makes sense
all help and advice would be appreciated