Miscarriage support

Metranil_Vavin

Glad the op went ok fran-o.

I don't think you should have to text your sister to tell her you've had your op either. Presumably she knew about it? So in my mind it should be her texting you to see how you are.

My sister can be insensitive too. She's very sweet, but I do remember when I had my first mc at 9 weeks, she didn't bother texting to see how I was at all, and in fact just kept posting up pictures of her DS1 who was around 15 month old all over FB doing various 'cute things'. I honestly thought she could have maybe knocked that on the head for a couple of weeks given what I'd just been through, but hey ho.

I remember having a massive blow up with my mum over the phone at the time as my mum has the annoying habit of always defending everybody else even when they are clearly in the wrong. My mum was trying to justify my sisters lack of communication/interest and I just lost it. It wasn't a nice time at all.

SusanC_2

fran-o wrote: »

Need a space to rant! (Sorry)
Had a nice visit from mum and had some soup lunch and a chit chat. As she was leaving my mum says, "have you texted your sister since your op, you should let her know you're ok?". This is my sister who took 4 days to text back when I told her I had miscarried and has not been in touch since. Granted she's in Australia so time difference makes chatting tricky, but just one text in two weeks and now the emphasis on me to make contact...:eek:

You don't need to apologise - that's what we're here for. And I agree that it is not up to you in the present circumstances to be taking the initiative to keep people up to date.

SusanC_2

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

My sister can be insensitive too. She's very sweet, but I do remember when I had my first mc at 9 weeks, she didn't bother texting to see how I was at all, and in fact just kept posting up pictures of her DS1 who was around 15 month old all over FB doing various 'cute things'. I honestly thought she could have maybe knocked that on the head for a couple of weeks given what I'd just been through, but hey ho.

I'm not sure I would have thought of this if I hadn't had the losses myself but I deliberately post baby/child photos in larger infrequent batches rather than posting one or two pictures all the time so that people are not bombarded. Another thing I do if I am aware that someone might be particularly sensitive is to "hide" the photos from them when originally posting and then "unhide" after a week or two so that they will be able to see them if they look at my profile but they won't have them popping up in their newsfeed. People (if they think about it at all) probably just figure you can unsubscribe from their photos but from experience this does not work if you have lots of mutual friends as it then pops up as "[mutual friend] has liked/commented on [friend]'s photo" instead. I also try to be careful not to like/comment on baby/scan photos that are set to friends of friends or public as something that I found particularly bad when the newsfeed first changed (and I hadn't unsubscribed from friends' comments/likes) as suddenly I was bombarded with the scan photos and baby photos from friends of friends announcements on almost a daily basis. The best way I found to avoid photos when I wanted to was to unsubscribe from photos of the relevant friends and then unsubscribe from comments/likes of all friends.

Metranil_Vavin

I think it was more the fact she'd not bothered to get in touch with me despite knowing what I'd gone through, and instead posting loads of pics of her son up on FB, that got to me.

I wasn't thinking particularly rationally at the time.

i_wanna_save_money!

Hiya, I feel like i'm gatecrashing this thread as I don't think i've joined in this thread before. I'm just after a bit of advice and don't have anyone else to ask. I had a second miscarriage last month, it was totally different from my other MC, the first time was much worse, although both have played constantly on my mind. My first period after my first MC was normal.

Four days ago I began my first period after my second miscarriage, really heavy and on day two I passed a very big clot - i've never had a clot in a period and it freaked me out. I went to the docs, and he feared i'd miscarried again. Had blood tests and today doc phoned me, said there is no pregnancy hormone so i've not had a third MC, and he says it is just my body getting back to normal (he also said if it happens next month it is not normal and I must go back).

Basically, I just want to know if this is normal to pass a big clot on the period following a MC. No one knows I have had another MC except my OH and I just can't speak to him about it and I have no one else to ask. I'm not after medical advice, I just want to know if anyone else has had this.

Thanks for reading X

Jox

Hi i wanna save money, sorry about your mc.

My body has gone a bit haywire since my mc in August.

I had a bleed for around a month from September to October and then last Thurs my period started and it was full of clots, really heavy and disgusting!

I had to get up 3 times a night to empty my mooncup - sorry tmi!

It lasted for 5 days, very heavy and clotty for 4 days and has stopped now.

Maybe it will take a few cycles to get back to normal?

I'm not really sure, I'll wait and see what happens next month!

i_wanna_save_money!

Thanks Jox, it just scared me that's all as it didn't happen like that last time although last time was physically much worse. I'll wait and see what happens next month.

Sorry for everyones loss xxx

fran-o

Thanks ladies haha x
I have calmed a bit now. Will wait and see if sister gets in touch, if mum asks again I will be honest. Sister and i both have our own lives and both struggle to keep in touch across the world, but she is particularly bad it sometimes, forgot my 30th bday etc. it was just my mum drawing attention to it earlier that annoyed and upset me.
Best wishes iwanna and all you lovely lot x

portsmouthali

Hey I wanna save money, hope you're OK. With my previous 2 miscarriages I had ERPCs, and although I didn't have a lot of bleeding in the days after the operations, my first periods after were very painful with clots - I think it's just your womb having a good old clear out. I had an ERPC last week so just realised I've got this to look forward to next month - deep joy!! Please don't feel like you're gatecrashing, feel free to ask any questions

Fran-o, glad everything went OK. Surgical stockings are delightful, aren't they? Oh the glamour! :rotfl: Mine were dark green, and clashed terribly with my leopard print slippers. I thought about posting a picture of my legs/feet on facebook but I worried that people would think it was in bad taste (or, if they didn't know I was in hospital they may have thought my dress sense had taken a turn for the worse)

Families (especially mothers) sometimes come out with the worst things at a time like this - my OH's mum has said some awful things, honestly I could write a book! The thing is, she's a lovely lady and would be distraught if she'd thought she's upset us. She's just quite tactless sometime - well, most of the time

Metranil_Vavin

Yes my mum has dropped some clangers whilst apparently trying to be 'sensitive'.

Classic case in point Wednesday just gone, I spoke to her whilst I was at work and she asked how I was doing etc. Had a bit of a chat about how depressed I've been feeling/how tough it's been but I am coming through the other side, keeping trying etc, and she said 'Are you really sure you want another child? It's very hard work you know with two'!!!!!!!!!!

I mean...!!!!!!..????

I ended the call politely but quickly as I didn't want to have a row with her whilst at work!