Miscarriage support

any_name_will_suffice

I have booked surgery for 9/11/12, I'm not really expecting anything to happen between now and then. The only other slot they could offer is 31/10, but OH is away then and I'll have no way of getting to and from the appointment.

It's going to be a long two weeks :-(

tinkwings

HUgs Any name.

MV yipee for stopping bleeding.

I have woken up to a really sore throat I guess from the tube during the op & my hand makes me look like a druggie but on the plus side this is the 1st day in 25 days that I have woken up & not lost a huge clot :-)

Clean slate time to re-build & move forward

Metranil_Vavin

tinkwings wrote: »

HUgs Any name.

MV yipee for stopping bleeding.

I have woken up to a really sore throat I guess from the tube during the op & my hand makes me look like a druggie but on the plus side this is the 1st day in 25 days that I have woken up & not lost a huge clot :-)

Clean slate time to re-build & move forward

I'm with you all the way hon x

Nephthys

Tinks and MV - I have been lurking a lot (as Tinks will testify!) but didn't think I had much I could add to help so didn't post. I am really glad you are both on the road to recovery! I have been worried about you both!

Anyname - huge hugs for you. I am so sorry you are having to wait. It is a long time to wait but I can see why you need to. Just come on here and chat when you need the company. This is a wonderful board for support.

abis21

Newcook - I work for my brother, and I am in charge of doing the wages so I just paid myself full pay I doubt that he would have argued over it though - I only had 4 days off in total. My hubby had 2 days off, for the scan day and we had to go to 2 hospitals for that, and then for the ERPC the day after and he got both of those as compassionate leave. He works for a large company tho who treat their staff very well. I think officially/legally it is classed as sick leave, but its at the employers discretion on how they treat it. If its going to upset you too much then I would say leave it, but if its going to niggle you by leaving it then maybe try emailing your boss or HR about the circumstances and that way you wouldn't have to face them in person iyswim?

Awwww, MV I don't think people are being smug They probably feel guilty for having an easy time and/or very lucky themselves Its not nice being in that negative mindset tho - we have all been there I'm still cross at my friend for moaning on about her pregnancy on FB as she is due on the same date as me. I want to say on her status about being tired all the time etc YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE!! But then I remember she doesn't know I had a loss, and to be fair, pregnancy is tiring. Shes 8 months gone and still working full time - of course she is tired A little red rag still comes up tho every time she moans about it I'm very close to hiding her statuses from my news feed Really pleased that the bleeding has stopped for you tho. Its such a relief not to have the constant physical reminder of your loss. I hope the christening goes ok. I had DD's birthday party just 9 days after my ERPC which was hard I spent the first hour or so locked in my room crying I hope you are able to enjoy it tho and have a good day. Did you manage to have some good retail therapy the other day?

Anyname - Thats an awful long wait for surgery I guess there is a possibility that it may happen naturally in the meantime tho.

Tinks - Good news on no clots this morning. Do y'know - I had a sore throat afterwards and I never even thought about a tube in there! I thought it was cos I was nil by mouth for so long.

Lemonmelon - How you doing today huni? Still thinking of you often xx

sweaty_betty

newcook wrote: »

Morning ladies, Im sorry if Im asking this in the wrong area but does anyone know if the time I had to take off work for my miscarriage is classed as compassionate leave? I’ve just received my payslip and have had the 2 days I was off for deducted as its been marked as being off sick (bosses knew about why I was off)
I don’t really want to go and ask my boss about it as Im not a very confrontational person at the best of times, let alone 2 weeks after I lost my baby

big hugs to you all x

Hi there - I think employers have different policies, it's definitely worth asking if time off for a miscarriage is considered to be the same as time off for a cold/'flu etc. They might say yes, which would be rather unsympathetic of them, but it's definitely worth asking the question.

The one thing I'm pretty sure of is that any sick leave relating to a miscarriage shouldn't be counted towards overall sickness levels, it should be separate (as any time off sick in pregnancy is) so that women aren't unfairly treated as a result of being the ones who get pregnant.
Hope this makes sense and you get a decent result.

newcook

sweaty_betty wrote: »

Hi there - I think employers have different policies, it's definitely worth asking if time off for a miscarriage is considered to be the same as time off for a cold/'flu etc. They might say yes, which would be rather unsympathetic of them, but it's definitely worth asking the question.

The one thing I'm pretty sure of is that any sick leave relating to a miscarriage shouldn't be counted towards overall sickness levels, it should be separate (as any time off sick in pregnancy is) so that women aren't unfairly treated as a result of being the ones who get pregnant.
Hope this makes sense and you get a decent result.

thanks for that (and for the rest of you who have comented!) looking on the internet it seems a common practice for normal sickness pay to cover miscarriages so therefore I wont get any pay (glad I only had 2 days now!) however, we do get a bonus in the new year if we've had no sickdays so am I right in thinking that as it should be seperate that I will still get my bonus?!

any_name_will_suffice

I think so, because time off for pregnancy related sickness shouldn't count towards normal sickness targets.

Good job too, or I would be headed for disciplinary the amount I have needed off due to miscarriage in the last 3/4 months!!

lemonmelon_2

Great news MV on no more bleeding, that always makes me feel much better emotionally not being reminded of it all the time and more able to move on. I hope your christening is beautiful and a lovely day to celebrate the blessing of your child

Tinks, yay for no clots, hope its only better from here on I have hands and arms like that too, don't think I've got a single unbruised vein!

Any name, I'm sorry you have to wait so long, that must feel difficult

Newcook hugs for not wanting to confront your boss, I couldn't face it either and instead wrote them a letter to send with my sick line as there was no way I could explain what had happened with any kind of composure. My work have been pretty awful about the miscarriages before though, last time no one even said they were sorry

I'm just feeling very empty today, I feel like I'm homesick but I'm already home so I don't know what to do. I am trying very hard to feel better.

Thinking of you all x

fran-o

Morning ladies, sadly I am now eligible to join this thread... Got a positive three weeks ago (first pregnancy age 32) and had a dating scan wednesday as my cycles are v irregular. Dating scan showed no bubba, blood tests have confirmed a failed pregnancy ( what a horrible phrase). No bleeding so am booked for a confirmation scan on Thursday then midwife suggests erpc.
Cried my eyes out yesterday, hubby took a while to realise how hard I was taking it but then was great. Told Mum and also a couple of friends I was due to see in the evening at a big party. One of them has had three mc ( then two lovely healthy boys) so they were very understanding. Only person left who knew I was pregnant is my sister so I will text her today.
Mix today of feeling sad and scared. Worried about the chat I need to have at work with my boss... In someways it will be a relief as I'm sure he currently thinks I am either bored of my job/ going for interviews elsewhere with the levels of absence and poor motivation I've had at work lately! Also a bit nervous re erpc and what it will entail. I hadn't realised it was a surgery under general anaesthetic - I'm going to need a few days off aren't I?
Best wishes to you all and thanks for the insight and advice I've got from reading back through a few pages x