Miscarriage support

lemonmelon_2

Thank you all for your kind words (and thanks to anyone who posted on the less than 12 week thread but I just can't bring myself to look at that just now) I just feel so torn apart that our baby died and I didn't know - I should have known.

I haven't miscarried naturally so we need to think about the next steps to take but its hard to process. Thankyou again for the support x

IHateDida

I am so sorry Lemonmelon - hope you don't mind me posting here instead of the other thread *lots of hugs* - you have always been a wonderful support on the other thread and welcomed me when I arrived xx

abis21

Awww, sweetie, of course you shouldn't have known. Be kind to yourself. Its doubly awful as you saw the heartbeat which gave you chance to believe and hope - especially after the bleeding etc.

I had no idea about mine, and it died at 6 weeks. I had bad sickness, tiredness, fussy eating, a lickle bump, no bleeding. There was no clues as to it going wrong. I felt so annoyed with myself afterwards that I had told DD and put her through it all, as I 'should have known and protected her'. It took me a while to realise that I did my best with the info I had. I was so ill, she would have been worried about me if I hadn't explained what was wrong anyways.

Did they go through options with you at the hospital? I was recommended ERPC as it was the only way to test for molar which they had suspected, so my decision was easy, and it was done quickly, which was a blessing for me because I find the unknown and waiting etc much harder to deal with than facts and timescales.

TeamLowe

Lemon mine was a missed miscarriage as well, and it comforted me to think that actually, the reason I didnt realise anything was wrong was because actually my body was fighting incredibly hard to keep my baby alive but it just wasn't enough. But it is hard to shake that feeling that you should have known x x

I had the medical management which I wouldn't really recommend, not at all dignified but I went for because it was the quickest they could get me in,I didn't cope well knowing I had a lost baby inside me but anyway if you have any questions about that process let me know x x

any_name_will_suffice

Aw lemon, I'm really sorry you're going through this too.

I had my early scan on Thursday, which showed no hb. I still haven't mc naturally and am waiting to see what happens, but i suspect I'll end up having surgical management as nothing much is happpening.

I'm really struggling with nausea and dry heaving which is getting me down.

Thinking of you x

lemonmelon_2

Thank you ladies, its so hard still feeling so pregnant when I know the baby has died but I like your way of thinking about it team lowe, it is comforting to know I'm going the best I can even though it couldn't keep him alive.
I don't know which option to go for, I'm not sure that I'm brave enough for the tablets although I wish I was, having the operation makes me feel guilty -like I've stopped caring even though I know that's not true.
Any name, I'm so sorry you're here too, its just so unfair :-(

Nephthys

Oh lemon - no option is pleasant - you can only make the right choice for you at the time. You don't have to feel guilty although I understand the emotion. I felt guilty too. It doesn't mean you don't care - far from it! TeamLowe - I like your way of thinking of it too.

I have had one EPRC and one natural. The ERPC was advised for me as my body had refused to give in and start on its own - even though we waited a couple of weeks. Even with the tablets given to me that morning before the op I had no bleeding so my body was not going to give up on its own. I found my recovery from the ERPC was easier than the natural one but every woman is different.

I know I can't say anything that will ease the pain for you but I am thinking of you and I am so sorry you have to go through this. Big hugs.

abis21

Anyname & Lemonmelon - Its a personal choice on what option you go for. The list of complications with an ERPC was really scary, but as it was an operation they had to go through all the possibilities even tho in reality they sadly carry out the operation lots of times and more than 99% of the time it goes without a hitch.

As mine was suspected molar the choice was taken away from me. I think I would have freaked at the list of complications on an ERPC normally. But I found the procedure straight forward and the recover was really easy. I didn't have hardly any heavy bleeding or cramping, and I think I would have found those things hard as its all a reminder of what has gone on.

I think guilt is a normal type of reaction to have. I kept repeating to myself to be kind to myself. None of it was my choice. Nothing I did or didn't do would have changed the baby dying. It was and is very sad. But how I dealt with the next few things were my choice, so having the ERPC was the first choice I made, as I wanted to recover physically as fast as I possibly could, so that I could basically try again sooner.

babyizzard

Hi Ladies,

Have been lurking for the past week or so, but think I'd like to join in now

Quick history for me......
Almost 7 years ttc
1 ectopic + surgery and loss of tube
2 previous fresh and 2 previous frozen IVF cycles - all mc's before 9 weeks

Then a gap while I had to lose weight (GRRR), had a hysteroscopy, karyotyping, etc, discovered I have Factor V Leiden as well so would go on to clexane.

Had our last fresh cycle in Sept with aspirin and clexane...all well and good until our early scan where we had 2 gestational sacs, 2 yolks, 2 FPs and only 1 very slow HB Knew what would happen as we had a slow HB on our previous cycle as well.

Luckily, or not, I'd asked my local EPU to do my 2nd scan on Friday, which confirmed no more HB. I honestly thought I'd have to argue to have surgical management, as my last mc was quick, overnight and painfully horrible. But they managed to fit me in yesterday and I had my ERPC. I've had no pain, barely any bleeding, but most of all just feel relieved that I don't have an impending mc hanging over me.

So now I find myself here.......back to square one again. Losing weight made no difference, clexane made no difference.....and my clinic's official line is that they don't believe in immune testing etc.

Where on earth do you start when your GP/local hospital have minimal knowledge of repeat miscarriage and your chosen clinic are realistically only concerned to getting a positive result :S Obviously we have a follow up to come, but I feel their advice or ideas of what to do next will be very limited:(

Metranil_Vavin

Hi babyizzard. welcome to the thread.

I am so sorry for everything you have been through, I am sorry I don't have any advice to offer, but I will say this thread is full of support and there are ladies who will have been through what you have, so keep posting.x

AFM - I'm back at work today and feeling really low. I just can't get interested in anything much at the moment. Just went out for a coffee with my boss (who is also a friend), and she was very nice about everything, but not having ever ttc herself (yet) I found a lot of her 'advice' a bit draining.

The town I work in was crawling with mothers with little babies and lots of pregnant women too.

Just feel like saying bollux to everything.