Miscarriage support

maire1

Greener- I had an erpc ten weeks ago at 9 weeks pg and have had blood hcg counts done and I've only just reached zero and got af. They said it can take longer in some of us to reach zero and therefore have regular cycles. Seems to bear no relation to how far along you were when mc happened.

For me, it felt like the agony was prolonged and I gave been desperate to get back to normal.

Salt in the wound at the moment as I work in a small place and two girls have just announced their pregnancies. It's all very hard to bear but I am going to really try to have hope. Going for third time lucky!

Greener_Grass

unfortunatly i think its to do with my pcos that i've not had a period rather than my hcg levels not being low enough. two days after my miscarraige started my levels were down to only 27 so i know my hcg levels fell fast.

Sorry to hear about your losses Marie, i understand how hard it is. facebook seems to be the worst for it. everyone on mine either has a baby or is pregnant its so depressing

TeamLowe

GG I'd speak to your doctor if you're concerned, I stopped ovulating after my mc and had to up my dose of metformin to get my cycle back. Recently had blood tests to show I have ovulated one cycle so I guess is just a waiting game, if I don't get pregnant in six months I get clomid x x

abis21

Hello,

Sorry to see that there are some newcomers to the board

I've been to a service called saying goodbye at York Minster today. Its aimed at people who have lost babies through pregnancy and in the early years. It was particularly helpful for me, as I had a mmc. This means there was no service or anything, and whilst I have grieved - I also had complications of a molar pregnancy which intruded on the grieveing process as I was often focussed on my health rather than losing the baby.

This is the link to the services. They are all over the UK, but only started up this month, so in 2013 even more areas in the UK will be covered. http://www.sayinggoodbye.org/

There were hymns, songs, readings, poems etc. One lady read out a reading from a personal perspective. She was struggling and tearful but got through it and had lost 5 babies During 1 hymn we could ring a hand bell if we chose to, once for each baby we had lost. And at the end, we got to light a candle to signify our loss.

It was obviously an emotional experience. I think I sobbed most of the way through it. But I think its helped. It was 'good' to grieve amongst others. DH is very very supportive - but to him the baby wasn't 'real' whereas to me it was. The reverand who held the ceremony explained that the reason we feel grief and pain is because we love. That hit a nerve. I fell utterly in love with my baby from the moment of my BFP. I had a future planned in my head, and it was taken away. The reverand explained it was the loss of potential which was as devestating as the loss of the baby. Again, hit a nerve.

A lady came over to me afterwards and gave me a hug as she could she I was hurting, and I went over to the lady with the reading and had a hug with her, and told her how brave she had been.

They read out this poem as well by Jennifer Wasik:

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked " What makes a Mother?
And I know I heard Him say

"A Mother has a baby
This we know is true"
But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?

"Yes, you can," He replied,
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice

Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.

"I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby to be here.
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child's smile
With all the other children and say..

"We go to Earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here

I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her every day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke here hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here"

"So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are born here in My home
And this is where they'll stay

They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson's through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.



Big hugs to all the other angel mommies out there. :A:A

TeamLowe

Actually cried at that, thank you x x
Glad the service helped, I might have a look myself x x

maire1

Thank you abis that's lovely!

mrsj28

Abis - thanks for your post and for sharing the poem. I'm so pleased the service was helpful for you.

Saffagal

Thank you for sharing that abis, the poem made me cry too.
Hugs to all who're needing them today x

somethingcorporate

That poem brought a tear to my eye. I saw that service at York Minster but I don't think my wife could have dealt with it (she suggested she didn't want to go so I didn't press the issue).

I am glad you went and that it helped.

tinkwings

So Sadly I am here again for the 3rd time. :-(
On friday I misscarried our 9 week old baby it was my most traumatic miscarriage yet as I hemorrhagaged for over 9 hours & was rushed into the majors section of A & E and told that it was rare but not uncommom to mis carry in this way.
I am now home again & trying to come to terms with it all.
How do u even begin trying for another baby after that experience......................
I feel totally numb & so very alone .............