Miscarriage support

clearing_out_my_pockets

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

Hello again everyone. I hate dragging this thread up to the top again, but feeling so sad
Have had a chemical pregnancy, so technically my second loss now.
had loads of pregnancy symptoms, strong nausea and tiredness like you wouldn't believe. Tested at the weekend at my parents house with a digi, and got a pregnant 1-2.
We were so excited, and felt truely blessed as it was only or first proper month of trying for no 2, and I had been planning the age gap I wanted/getting stuff in order.
I should have known that life is rarely that kind. Started bleeding heavily yesterday morning, and am having the heaviest period I can recall since my mc 2 years ago.

I feel almost bad bringing this up as it was only 4 weeks, but I am really, really disappointed. It doesn't matter how early a loss is, you still start making plans and thinking about your future.

I guess I should have known better having been through a loss previously, and although this isn't anywhere near as awful as I haven't had scans etc, it's brought back a lot of unhappy memories and I'm full of remorse

Sorry to rant, just not really got anyone to talk to as we only told my mum and dad as we were at their house when I tested. My poor mum doesn't really know what to say, and actually there isn't much. Guess it's just a case of onwards and upwards, although at the moment I feel like it's never going to happen, as I'm 40 next year and have probably left all this too late.

We're going to try again straight away as I desperately want a baby soon.

Hugs to anyone else who is going through this crap x

MV - I completely understand you saying that you have no one to talk to. I had a chemical last month and now that another cycle has gone by I'm feeling the 'loss' more than I did initially. I buried my head in the sand and pretended it hadn't happened. My DH seems to think we can wave a magic wand and get another BFP.

I know none of this will help you, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone in feeling the way you do.

Metranil_Vavin

Thank you COMP, it does help to chat to ladies who have been through similar situations.

If only we could wave that magic wand and get our forever baby eh?

Jox

My husband was trying to work out when we conceived last time (probably around 21st July) and was wondering what "he did differently" as we had been trying for around 9 months.

Bless him, let's hope he remembers so he can do it again next time!

After all this pain and waiting, when it happens for all of us it will be all the sweeter.

MV, it's been a month for me so the pain is less, but I know it's very raw for you so I hope you can take it easy and grieve and allow others to hug and love you xx

portsmouthali

So sorry to see your name here again MV I keep stressing about my age too, but as my mum keeps reminding me, my nan had my dad at 43 so we've hopefully got a few years left yet, eh? xxxx

Metranil_Vavin

Hey Ali, thanks xx

I keep saying to my mum that if I was 10 years younger I wouldn't worry so much, but then again if I was 10 years younger I would still have been with the plonker I was going out with at the time, unhappy and children wouldn't have even been on my radar!

I think the media give women a hard time and make out that we are selfish to wait, and put our careers etc in front of having a family, when actually that's all bollox and it's more it takes time to weed out the rubbish men you come across in your life, and find a decent one that you actually want to have kids with!

It took me until the age of 33 to find mine!

amus

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

I think the media give women a hard time and make out that we are selfish to wait, and put our careers etc in front of having a family, when actually that's all bollox and it's more it takes time to weed out the rubbish men you come across in your life, and find a decent one that you actually want to have kids with!

It took me until the age of 33 to find mine!

Thats very true, I was lucky to have met my husband at a young age, but I have friends now (mid twenties) who really want to settle down with a family but cant find a decent bloke!!!

Metranil_Vavin

I have a friend who is also 39, and has just been dumped out of the blue by her fella of nearly 2 years.

She is totally panic-stricken as to find yourself single again at nearly 40 must be so scary.

She's looking into alternative parenting options now as she longs for a child, but finding someone in time seems such a daunting task.

I really feel for her, it must be a very unhappy place to be.

Nicki

I think meeting your forever partner young, doesn't necessarily solve all the problems. I met my husband when we were both 18, and we married when I was 22, and started trying for our first child when I was 24. We have serious fertility issues though, and have had a couple of miscarriages, so here I am aged 43, soon to turn 44, still trying to complete my family. Although I am lucky enough to have conceived and carried 3 children, if you exclude pregnancies and short periods of using contraception, it has been about 15 years of unsuccessful ttc when added up

Jox

I met my husband at 33 as well and only started TTC last year, all my 20's were spent working hard, partying hard and dating very unsuitable men!

Can't regret any of it really as it made me the person I am (though I do wish I hadn't had a termination at 28 - stupid huh), but I hope I haven't scuppered my chances of having a family with the man I love.

What will be will be I guess.

cookiecrumbs

Hello

I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago on our honeymoon I found out I was pregnant a week before our wedding.

I don't really know how I'm feeling to be honest - I got back to "normal" pretty much straight away. Went back to work etc. Nobody knew about the pregnancy apart from my OH (obviously) and his parents who I am very close to.

Can't help thinking that this is around the time when we would have been telling people so I feel a bit sad about that.

It was my first pregnancy and it happened so quickly and easily I couldn't believe it. I just hope it happens again sooner rather than later. I am 34 and my OH is 40.

Don't really know why I'm writing this TBH, I just thought it might be helpful to write things down where other people who have been through the same thing might read it.

CC x