Miscarriage support

mrsj28

mishkanorman wrote: »

we were advised that we didnt need to wait (slightly different in that ours was a termination rather than natural miscarriage) so i presume there is no medical reason for it,

In my experience though I wish in some ways we had waited, the last pregnancy ended at the end of September and I fell pregnant again at the end of december, so for the majority of the last year I have been pregnant. Thats put quite a strain on my body but mainly the up/down of the hormones as they first left my body and then returned has meant at times ive been all over the place emotionally.

Not taking the time to grieve has (I've come to realise recently) meant I havent enjoyed this pregnancy as im still mentally not over the last one.

I just wanted to rush ahead and fall pregnant as that is what i had wanted for the last 5 years, in doing so I thought it would cancel out the pain caused by the ending of the last pregnancy.


Im not saying I was wrong to get pregnant so quickly, just that it wasnt the quick fix solution that i thought it would be - its worth bearing that in mind, i hadnt considered that by throwing myself into getting pregnant i was only delaying the inevitable grief that would catch up with me and ive robbed myself of the joys of pregnancy that I should have had.


mishka:o

Hi mishka - thanks for this, really helpful advice. I'm really sorry to hear you've not enjoyed this pregnancy but do wish you all the best for the safe arrival of your little one and hope he or she will bring you huge joy!

I do feel ready to try for another pregnancy - as I'd only known for such a short while (about ten days) it almost feels now like I was never pregnant, which is really sad but at the same time a bit of a blessing I think. It's such a weird time and when I really really really think about it maybe we probably should wait one cycle

mishkanorman

mrsj28 wrote: »

Hi mishka - thanks for this, really helpful advice. I'm really sorry to hear you've not enjoyed this pregnancy but do wish you all the best for the safe arrival of your little one and hope he or she will bring you huge joy!

I do feel ready to try for another pregnancy - as I'd only known for such a short while (about ten days) it almost feels now like I was never pregnant, which is really sad but at the same time a bit of a blessing I think. It's such a weird time and when I really really really think about it maybe we probably should wait one cycle

thank you x

what i didnt make clear in my post is there is not a single person on this planet who could have convinced me to wait , even more so when I was told that you are said to be 'more fertile' after a miscarriage as your body is already geared up for it.

Only you can know whats right, i still read the TTc thread so will be lurking and wishing you all the best

MarilynMonroe_2

If you yourself feel ready to try I would. I wasn't told to wait, I think they do say to wait more for dateing accuratley more than anything.
After I had a miscarriage I tried straight away but it was the 2nd cycle I got pregnant with my little girl and I took baby aspirin and hormone cream from when I ovulated and used preeseed. I don't know if these things made the difference but at the time it made a difference to me as I felt I was doing something iykwim?

Lots of hugs for everyone, there is light at the end of the tunnel xxxx

Nicki

We didn't wait either, and 13 months later still haven't conceived again. Personally I'd rather conceive in the first few cycles after a loss, and "not enjoy" my pregnancy, than not conceive at all, or take years to do so, so I personally don't think that waiting a few months is a guarantee of happiness. To be honest, just about everyone I know whether they conceived immediately afterwards or several months afterwards has found a pregnancy after a loss to be significantly more stressful than those happy days when we all thought it could never happen to us.

Nephthys

We waited after our first mc and were very lucky to conceive DS first cycle. The next time we didn't wait but it took several months before conceiving.

Nicki is right - falling pregnant after a miscarriage takes away some of the joy and excitement you felt the very first time when you didn't think it could happen to you. The stress and worry is there from the get go. It doesn't mean you love your child any less. You are just very aware of what can happen.

I say if you are physically and, more importantly, mentally and emotionally ready then go for it.

Kitten_Pie

I had a similar experience to Miska, we lost our boys at 32 weeks and were told to wait at least 3 months to try again by our GP. My consultant however said that if my body wasn't ready then it wouldn't happen so to try as soon as we wanted to.

We were lucky and were pregnant 6 weeks later however my body didn't cope well during the pregnancy and was using crutches fairly early on. This was on top of the emotional issues which the hormones intensify.

Like Miska there is nothing that would have stopped me trying again straight away and I was a woman on a mission. I don't regret it especially as I now have my rainbow baby with me but do take into account that it is hard and emotional.

Good luck and I hope it happens for you as quickly as you wish.

Jox

Thanks abis21 for explaining about the molar and chemical pregnancies, I felt so in the dark and didn't get any info at A&E, I guess they are busy enough and I didn't push for any details.

Amus - miscarriage was confirmed at A&E by blood test, my hcg level had dropped dramatically (don't know the figures but had been over 2000 a few days before). Didn't have an internal exam or scan.

Mrsj28 - hope you are ok, are you back to work on Monday? I've not taken any time off work, my husband is back from being away so that helps with taking my mind off things and comforting me!
I'd only known about the pregnancy for about 10 days as well and me and my hubby were on cloud 9 with big smiles on our faces for that short time!

Teamlowe - yes, thanks, I will contact my gp and ask for a referral, I have no idea if anything is left behind, will see what I can do about the fibroid as well.

Marilynmonroe - why the baby aspirin and hormone cream - I'll have to look that up

Nicki - sorry it's still taking so long to conceive, it's so frustrating - I hope it happens for you soon xx

Kitten-Pie - your devastating loss puts my pain in perspective, very sorry xx

Hugs to all, I only have a few mins in my lunch break to read and reply! If I seem abrupt, it's just me rushing

Metranil_Vavin

Hello again everyone. I hate dragging this thread up to the top again, but feeling so sad
Have had a chemical pregnancy, so technically my second loss now.
had loads of pregnancy symptoms, strong nausea and tiredness like you wouldn't believe. Tested at the weekend at my parents house with a digi, and got a pregnant 1-2.
We were so excited, and felt truely blessed as it was only or first proper month of trying for no 2, and I had been planning the age gap I wanted/getting stuff in order.
I should have known that life is rarely that kind. Started bleeding heavily yesterday morning, and am having the heaviest period I can recall since my mc 2 years ago.

I feel almost bad bringing this up as it was only 4 weeks, but I am really, really disappointed. It doesn't matter how early a loss is, you still start making plans and thinking about your future.

I guess I should have known better having been through a loss previously, and although this isn't anywhere near as awful as I haven't had scans etc, it's brought back a lot of unhappy memories and I'm full of remorse

Sorry to rant, just not really got anyone to talk to as we only told my mum and dad as we were at their house when I tested. My poor mum doesn't really know what to say, and actually there isn't much. Guess it's just a case of onwards and upwards, although at the moment I feel like it's never going to happen, as I'm 40 next year and have probably left all this too late.

We're going to try again straight away as I desperately want a baby soon.

Hugs to anyone else who is going through this crap x

mrsj28

MV - just wanted to send big hugs to you and to say how sorry I am to hear about your loss

I couldn't agree more - it doesn't matter how early the loss as it's the loss of all the hopes and plans for the future which is so painful as well as the loss of the pregnancy.

Hope you can take it easy over the next few days/weeks; I know it really helped me to have a bit of time before trying to 'get back to normal'.

We are trying again too although we did think we'd have a break, I am just so desperate to be pregnant and physically I am fine so decided just to get on with it.

Thinking of you - take care

samii11

heya, ive come here from the 'less than 12 weeks pregnant' forum. I started bleeding sunday night (going by my LMP i would have been 8 weeks) the scan showed i was either only about 4 weeks or starting to MC as the embryonic sac and yolk where present just no baby, so i knew it was a MC as 4 weeks wasnt possible. I do have a scan booked for Wednesday to check and see if baby has grown or it was a MC, however after being rushed to A&E last night with very heavy bleeding, large clots ect my blood test confirmed that i have had a miscarriage (this is my first MC after 2 DS) so i think im here for some advice/support from people who know. Anyway thats me, hope everyone else is doing ok xxx