Miscarriage support

Toooldforthis

Had to go back to hospital of Friday .. They think I had some left behind and it's become infected .. I freaked out at the hospital just wanted to go home as it was too painful being there
I really don't feel withit emotionally at the mo felt loads better yesterday today I feel like total poo
Meant to go back to work tomorrow but don't want to .. Positive point noone knew except my boss and he has been good... negative point just don't want anyone asking me why I've been off ... I'm off Tuesday as have counselling starting (was due to go anyway ) so would like to go back Wednesday but feel guilty as work must be piling up ... Arghhhhh I can't do this anymore

Toooldforthis

Sorry to hear you going through this too GG ((hugs)) xx

portsmouthali

Hi GG, I'm so sorry to see you here xxx

I would DEFINITELY rather have not got pregnant than have gone through the physical & mental agony of this so many times, and gain no comfort whatsoever from the words "At least you know you can get pregnant..." Ignorance is bliss and I wish with all my heart that I never knew what a miscarriage felt like. I will never enjoy another pregnancy as I always feel like it's going to end the same way (which 4 out of 5 times, it has) so those words make me feel sad more than comfort me. People mean well though, so I don't shout at them

Sorry for the rant, feeling very sorry for myself today :mad:

Hugs to anyone going through this, or struggling with the aftermath. It's a long road xxxx

Tooold, don't rush back to work, no-one will expect you to, and only you know when you're ready. Take care xx

portsmouthali

Not sure if any of you have seen this - very interesting!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19361432

It seems to make sense. If nothing else, it's good that research is ongoing.

marywooyeah

I know I shouldn't really be on here but having read GG's post my heart just went out I'm so so sorry for you going through this it sounds awful and I completely get what you say about other people not understanding.

just because you have a child doesn't mean anyone should make you feel guilty for grieving for your lost baby - he or she was and always will be your child. if this is affecting your 3 year old maybe something you could both do together would "help" - we bought blue star balloons spelling out my son's name and let them off and another time I got a chinese lantern and wrote a message to my little one.

we let it off on new year's eve just after midnight and after it went up I saw several others in the sky - it was emotional but the "whoosh" when it took off helped me release some of my hurt and I hope something similar could bring you some comfort.

xxx

mrsj28

Hi ladies

I hope you don't mind me posting on here, I didn't want to post all this on the less than 12 weeks thread and am just looking for a bit of practical advice/support.

I found out I was pregnant about ten days ago, and going by LMP I should be 7 + 1 today.

I think I had/am having a miscarriage. I started having cramps and bleeding last night, quite heavy red blood, and am still bleeding this morning. TMI ALERT: I've also passed some greyish/blue tissue/membraney stuff.

I went to see my GP as I'd already booked the appointment to tell the GP I'm pregnant. The GP has examined me and said it is very very likely it's a miscarriage, but she can't confirm yet as she couldn't tell if my cervix was closed or open, but there is a lot of blood there.

I've been booked in for a scan at EPU this morning, just to confirm and to check it's complete.

Is there anything specific I should ask at EPU, or anything I should be aware of that might happen?

abis21

Awwwwww, MrsJ. Big big big big and bigger hugs for you.

The EPU will scan you to see if the baby is still in there and whether there is a heartbeat or not. At 7 weeks you should see a heartbeat.

If it is confirmed a miscarriage, they will then scan to make sure everything has come away ok as if it hasn't then there is a risk of infection.

For pratical info, you shouldn't use tampons (again for risk of infection) and avoid sexual activity until the bleeding has stopped. Basically anything up yr foof while the cervix is open may lead to an infection.

I don't think there is necessarily anything you will need to ask them. Ime, they were very caring and gave out all the info I needed to know without me asking. They also gave me a phone number in case I thought of anything afterwards.

Fingers crossed its just a scare. Please let us know how you get on. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nicki

I am very sorry for your news mrsj. The EPU may be a bit equivocal with you as you may still be too early to see a heartbeat even if all is well. They may scan you today and ask you to go back again in a week or 10 days to double check. That limbo can be very hard.

You can ask today if they see a sac and also how thick your lining is. If the lining is still nice and thick and there is some evidence of a sac, then there is still some hope of a happy outcome. Will be thinking of you.

TeamLowe

MrsJ i'm so so sorry that you're going through this
I hope the EPU has given you answers at least, the nurses are usually love but can be quite clinical.
I really hope it isn't the case but if you have lost then please ask them/your gp about counselling. i found it really really really helped me x x

mrsj28

Thank you so much, ladies. Abis and Nicki I read your messages on my phone while I was waiting with DH at EPU and they were really helpful, thank you. And TeamLowe thank you for your message and words of support. You ladies are amazing.

Sadly I have definitely miscarried. They scanned me externally and internally, and confirmed there is nothing there, and I gave a urine sample and the pregnancy test was negative.

I'm still bleeding and passed another really big clot when I was at the hospital, but when they scanned me they said there was only a very small bit of debris left. Thankfully I don't need to go back for another scan in a week, as the negative test confirmed it's a miscarriage.

The NHS have been incredible - I was referred so quickly to EPU at my GP appointment this morning and all the staff were amazing and supportive, and we were seen reasonably quickly.

Taking the day off work today and DH is too. My mum is going to pop over later as well. Feel so thankful to have amazing DH and supportive friends/family, but also totally devastated and deflated.

Thanks again for the support.