Miscarriage support

abis21

Jojo - I feel very similar to you. I had a molar pregnancy which comes with complications and I am now under weekly testing to check my HCG levels as they are still not back to normal. If the levels rise it may mean that molar tissue is re-growing which might need chemo to treat it.

Its only recently, since my levels are almost normal that the loss of the baby has really started to hit me. I think survival mode takes in earlier on - and like you I was thankful that things weren't worse and that they had identified the problem early etc.

No real words of advise for you - but just wanted to say you weren't on your own about it.

I've been to the doctors this week and have been referred for counselling as I think it will help to talk it through with someone qualified.

I'm 10 weeks on from the miscarriage now, and feel like the level of support from family and friends is much less now than it was at the start - and so I am finding that aspect a little harder to deal with too. DH has been amazing tho and very patient with my mood swings etc.

I have actually had a lovely weekend after a couple of weeks of gloominess. I think making the step towards getting counselling combined with quite a busy weekend had made a lot of difference to me. I do find it easier if I am kept busy.

Hugs to all the new-comers to the thread. Sorry to find you on here, but there are lots of us to talk to or ask questions to if you want to. xxx

JoJoB

Thanks for sharing abis, it does help having someone know how you feel. Glad you have a supportive oh, that really helps.

Big hugs to GG and amus too, dont know why I didn't mention you in previous post, sending healing vibes to all xx

abis21

Oh it hurts so much tonight

Am so fed up of the testing and waiting and worrying. I just want it to be over and to have my baby

cleofish

just saw your post abis, i wanted to send hugs and my thoughts to you.

hoping your feeling a bit better now, one day the testing will all be done, and you will have your forever baby in your arms and you will appreciate it so much more because of the time that you have had to wait... thats what i keep on telling myself anyhow.... but i do also think please can that day happen soon!

abis21

I'm doing a bit better today thanks Cleofish. Had a lovely day with my best friend yesterday as its her birthday - we saw Magic Mike at the cinema and went for all you can eat chinese - yum yum yum Going away for the weekend too with DH as its our 1st wedding anniversary on monday

The testing is hard at the mo. This weeks test is being repeated, presumably as the results are outside of what they were expecting to see - but they can't give me any further details than that. They keep saying they will be ready by x time, and then y time, but so far I still don't have them and its always a worry. I was meant to have them on tuesday - so it seems an awfully long wait - especially as i seem to be thinking the worst at times

How are you getting on Cleofish? Any news on an appt with a specialise? xx

abis21

Cancel that last message - not doing so good now :(

Results are in and a rise - which makes the last 3 results stagnant. Blood test on monday (our 1st wedding anniversary) and then further discussions / treatment plan if those results confirm the last few urine results.

So today sucks now

Kitten_Pie

oh Abis, I don't know what to say but just know that I am thinking of you and sending as much virtual PMA as I can muster.

bigmomma051204

Not sure how to feel today. Had miscarriage on Saturday - was only 7 weeks pregnant so extremely early etc... was going to go into work on Monday but decided not to as was feeling really rough and tired and heavy bleeding (tmi soz) so rang manager early mon morning and explained what had happened. I work for a large organisation and we basically dont get paid for the first 3 days off sick, so we normally take it as annual leave so we dont lose money. We didnt discuss how i would take the time off when i spoke with her... i also had tuesday off. I was back in on wednesday and have worked the rest of the week fine etc. Havent seen manager until today to speak with - so we had short chat about how i was feeling etc, she basically said that i was lucky it had been so early and that it made it much easier.... wasnt keen on how she was discussing it - kind of made it feel like nothing important :cool: but anyway, so she then went onto how to take it as leave.... she said she suggested that i take it as sick BUT it will get put on officially as annual leave on our computer system - didnt really understand why to be honest?? Now i know people are going to think this sounds silly BUT a few months ago, a guy who also works with us, his wife had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. He was given 5 days compassionate leave from work. I didnt bring this up and i wont tbh, but i felt like my feelings were really hurt and my miscarriage has been brushed aside because i was a few weeks less pregnant than this guys wife. In fact, writing this down has made me feel upset Sorry for going on!!

maire1

Just need to share my story.

I posted here about three weeks ago to say id miscarried. I bled really heavily with clots and thought there was no chance of it being ok. Went to epau 2 days later to be scanned and was told all was actually ok. Bean intact with heartbeat. Bleed just 'one of those things' and expect more bleeding as there was an area of bleeding still to come away.

Went home, bled a bit more as id expected to. Went back full of hope for follow up scan at 9 weeks. Abdominal scan.... Nothing..., internal scan.... Then the words 'I'm so sorry it's not good news'. Baby had died.

Having gone through all the options in my head three weeks previously, I decided the best option for me was the erpc. I had it done on Friday and really the physical side of things is fine.

What I'm now left to work through is the emotional side. I've been on such a roller coaster. The most overwhelming emotion, to my disgust, is relief. After all the bleeding etc, I was so tired of worrying and wondering what I'd see when I went to the loo. I'm ashamed of myself for feeling like this. I definitely want to try again one day, but I like having my body back, knowing what's happening, not being a nervous wreck.

I have some time off work. I'm sure I'm in for a whole host of emotions now as my hormones level out and I get back into normal life.

Thanks for reading the ramble!

maire1

Sorry big momma just read your post.

It's very insensitive of work to judge you and base assumptions on the stage of pregnancy you were at.

Youve been through a lot. The scars take a lot of time to heal no matter how far along you were. Your work need to recognise this.

Take all the time you need regardless of what others may think. Be kind to yourself and remember you have every right to feel sad and to grieve.

Take care xx