Miscarriage support

Toooldforthis

Thanks all ... Bleeding much worse with large clots .. Midwife told me to expect the worse ... Leaving for hospital in a couple of hours and then will know for sure .. Feel empty and very sad at the mo x

skintchick

I'm so sorry. Huge hugs. Take care of yourself. X x

Toooldforthis

Just home from hospital ... I lost the baby yesterday and collapsed in the hospital . Ended up in surgery and having blood transfusions
Feel ok physically now just empty and sad
Thanks for all the kind words x

amus

Toooldforthis wrote: »

Just home from hospital ... I lost the baby yesterday and collapsed in the hospital . Ended up in surgery and having blood transfusions
Feel ok physically now just empty and sad
Thanks for all the kind words x

So sorry to hear your sad news and that you had such a bad time.

I stayed in bed feeling sorry for myself the first couple of days, for me they were the hardest.

Make sure OH looks after you! xx

abis21

So sorry to hear that toooldforthis

Sorry to hear you had a hard time of it too. As Amus says, make sure you rest up and take care of yourself.

I felt a bit numb to begin with. Took quite a while for it to sink in that it was real

Keep talking when you want to, and cry when you want to, and be quiet when you want to. Theres no 'normal' feelings that come with a miscarriage. Its ok to be happy and laugh - it doesn't mean you aren't desperately sad about losing your baby.

Come and chat / vent with us any time you like.

Big hugs xxxxxx

Toooldforthis

Thank you just feel numb tbh .. And guilty as at the very beginning I question if I could go through with the pregnancy due to lots of circumstances and now I wish so much I hadn't had a miscarriage as I wanted the baby so very much ... I'm so empty and feels so unfair xx

abis21

It is unfair - its so sad and unfair that any of us have to go through this

Please don't feel guilty tho. There isn't a single thing that you could have done to have prevented this. Its just unlucky.

One of the best things that the consultant said to me was to be kind to myself. I know you will get negative thoughts like that at times - but try to ignore them. Repeat to yourself that its not your fault, because it really wasn't.

Big hugs xxxx

TeamLowe

So sorry to hear of your loss, tooold, i had my fingers crossed for you but too superstitious to post one way or the other.

I agree with Abis, take good care of yourself x x

Greener_Grass

Hi Ladies,

Feel like this is the only place i can turn at the moment where i can be honest and have some hope of being understood

Toooldforthis, so sorry to hear about your baby, my miscarraige started exactly the same way as yours. everyone told me it'd be fine and loads of people have bleeding.

It still feels like its not real. Just typing the words " my miscarraige" seems so weird to me and instantly makes me want to sob. I cannot stand anyone pregnant or with newborns. I feel so angry and upset. I can't understand why this had to happen. 27 long months waiting for the magical bfp then for it to be cruely snatched away. Its like a sick joke. I'd rather of not got pregnant in the first place. Not getting pregnant was hard enough nevermind getting pregnant, having 3 weeks to start to relax everything was going to be ok then it not being. My friends have been awful. Two of my closest friends had a huge go at me last week and told me i should be greatful for what i have instead of sad for what i dont! i am honestly shocked at this. yes i'm lucky to have a child but does that mean i'm not entitled to grieve for my baby that i tried so desperatly for? It is a death after all. I think people don't seem to realise that.

My 3 year old asks about the baby everyday. wether it being him saying he can see it in the sky or asking me if i'm sad because i don't have a baby in my tummy anymore. My pain is only intensified by the fact he is in pain too as he is desperate for a sibling and has been begging me everyday for the past 18 months or so.

I feel so angry at the world for continuing to go on. I watch programmes with people pregnant on tv and can't help but feel sad when they are the same amount pregnant as i should've been.

I came off my anti depressants the week before i lost my baby specifically for the babies sake which isn't helping at all with my feelings. We were at the beach the other day and i honestly wanted to walk into the see and keep walking until i drowned. I know this sounds awfully selfish when i have a child. I just cannot live through this nightmare. I now have no friends as my friends have completely cut me out, i feel so alone and like nobody understands, If one more person says to me at least you know you can get pregnant i'm likely to punch them. Yes i got pregnant. It did take 27 months though. I'm not likely to fall again next week. People just do not understand.

Nicki

Hi GG

Sorry you are having such a dreadful day today, and that your friends have let you down so badly. I think that if you haven't had a loss yourself, you have no idea how hurt and vulnerable women feel afterwards, and also that some people just have no idea how to deal with it when someone close to them is hurting so very badly. I am sure your friends are just inept rather than meaning any malice towards you, though that doesn't help much in the here and now when you need support.

I am another one who takes a very long time to conceive, so I do understand where you are coming from. But some women do find that they are much more fertile in the first three months after a loss, so hold onto that thought if you can. I know that you wanted the child you have lost very badly, and not a replacement for that child, but if you do feel ready to start trying again quickly, then it may well not take anywhere nearly as long to get another BFP.

In the meantime, is it worth going back to your GP about your depression, and checking whether there is another form of anti depressant you could be prescribed which is safe to take during pregnancy, and which might get you through this period? I know that not all anti depressants work for everyone and it can be trial and error to find one which works for you, but some of them are quite safe to take during pregnancy, and my view is that it is in the best interests of a new baby to have mum happy and well when they come along rather than ill and unmedicated. I know a couple of women (one who is a doctor herself) who are on long term antidepressants and took them during multiple pregnancies with no problem, and when I had my last child I was prescribed medication to help manage symptoms of PTSD at two separate points in the pregnancy. This is a huge specialist subject, but I know because I have seen it that there is a medical textbook which lists all the psychiatric medications and their suitability in both pregnancy and breastfeeding together with any risks and it is much more detailed than the standard drug reference books which tend to have a blanket statement that all drugs of this kind should not be used, even though not all of them do cross the placenta. If you stopped taking your regular medication abruptly, then you probably feel even worse than you would normally do having experienced a loss like this, due to the withdrawal symptoms, as it would be more usual to be weaned off anti depressants very slowly over the course of a few months if you have been taking them for some time.