Miscarriage support

skintchick

Oh yes Amus I meant to reply to your question, that was the post that got lost.

I have had five miscarriages, two of them missed ones. I've had them immediately at 4 weeks, 6 weeks and 10 weeks, and missed ones where the baby was 6 weeks but I lost at 10 weeks, and 10 weeks but I lost at 13 weeks.

Most of them have been exactly the same: spotting then awful cramps with me doubled over in pain even on codeine, like that for a few days till the baby passed, then easing off, then lots of bleeding for about a week, then total bleeding for about three weeks.

The ones that have been different were the one at 4 weeks, where I tested positive then a few days later had a heavy period, and this last one, where I spotted a lot, then had bleeding which wasn;t even that heavy for four hours, passed the baby, then it was back to just a little more than spotting, and the cramps with that one were not really bad at all, just a bit worse than a period, and only lasted a few hours.

So. I think that while all miscarriages are different, ina sense your own might well be quite similar. I don;t think that they are very much different if the baby has died before 12 weeks. I understand it can be much much harder and more painful later on, as it is much more like giving birth, but I think you'd need to be over 16 weeks or so for that to be the case. I'm basing that on the size of the baby.

I have done all my mcs naturally at home, and I also gave birth to DD naturally at home. That was the most painful! But at least I got a baby at the end.

My recommendation is that if you want to do it at home, then get some codeine from your GP (phone up for a prescription, they will do it if you say what it is for) and if it gets too bad at home you can always go into hospital. If you go into hospital to start with there is no way they will let you go once it starts, so it's something to bear in mind.

I have always preferred to do mine at home. Giving them a natural birth feels like the last act of love I can extend towards my babies, and I prefer it. Even though they go down the loo, it still feels better to me, but that is my personal choice. Your mileage may vary.

Nephthys

Skintchick, this has been my first chance to get back and see how you are. I am so so sorry. I really hope you get your answers and your forever baby soon. I also hope your OH will be ok too. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Amus, I am sorry you have to suffer this. I'm afraid I had an evac and a natural mc so have no experience of medical management but I hope that things will go easily (as far as possible in these circumstances) for you. Can also second the use of codeine.

colli

So sorry for all the ladies coping with a recent loss, I really am . Words aren't enough but my thoughts are with you all x

mishkanorman

My medical management was a termination so similar to a missed miscarriage I suppose ? Anyway it was at 15 weeks, although they said baby was measuring small and perhaps closer to 13/14. I only needed the first of the 2 pills and didnt get a chance to return for the 2nd as I had contractions and my water broke (passing baby at the same time)

Afterwards was like a heavy period for a week - 2 weeks, I didnt take any pain medication throughout but was given something at the hospital to help when I passed the placenta,

thinking of you all x x

abis21

((hugs)) amus. I had an ERPC with mine as mine was a molar pregnancy and they needed to send the placenta off to histology to have that confirmed so ERPC was the only way they would have been able to do that. I've only had the 1 miscarriage, but I think if I were to have another I would go down the ERPC route again. I was in hospital, in a private room with a bathroom and the nurses / doctors were all fantastic and very sensitive and caring as well as very thorough with explanations etc.

The operation lasts only about 10 minutes, and you are put to sleep under general anaesthetc, so it takes around an hour in total to be put to sleep and then come round from that. They did go through a big list of possible complications which were scary, but they do this operation a lot and there is a minimal risk - they just have to let you know about the risks too.

I prefered the fact that I had a date and knew what would be happening and when. I am a bit of a control freak and wouldn't like not knowing when things would happen. I think I would be frightened to leave the house in case the baby came away then.

After the operation I was monitored for a while and then allowed to go home. I had mild cramps for about 3 days, and mild bleeding for about a week.

With medical management they said (if I had chosen that option) they would insert they tablet, and then you would have to stay in hospital for 6 hours. If you didn't pass the baby within this time, then you were still allowed to go home - but you had to have another appt to scan you to make sure everything had come away.

None of the options are ideal - theres plus points and minus points with each option.

((Hugs)) for your anniversary date Teamlowe :(

Skint - you are bound to be wobbly for a while huni. I was in shock, numb, tearful, quiet etc for a few days afterwards - but had to carry on to a certain extent for DD's sake. DD got upset when I was upset, so I had to try and keep them moments away from her where possible. I too kept busy, and set myself little tasks and tried to give myself little things to look forward to. I booked in a massage which I had had to cancel as they won't do it in the first trimester. Family, friends and the boards kept me sane. Sometimes I needed DH, sometimes my mum, sometimes DD, sometimes my best friend, and sometimes I needed you guys who had been through something similar and could understand a little better. Lots of hugs to you.

maire1

Hi everyone thank you for your support.

I'm not sure how I feel. In up and down all the time. Waiting til thurs for a scan to check I'm clear.

So sorry about everyone's sad news. What a horrible few days it's been around here. Time will help to heal us hopefully but for now, I'm doing a hell of a lot of crying and sleeping!

Anyway, I'm taking an Internet break. Google is not my friend. I couldn't relax while pg because of obsessive checking google and symptom spotting and the same now, constantly checking mc symptoms etc.

I'm sure I'll pop back soon. Take care of yourselves and I just know we will all have our forever babies soon.

Xxxxx

Metranil_Vavin

Sorry about your news skint. There seems to have been a real spate of bad news on the boards recently.

One thing that really puts me off TTC again is the though tof having to go through another mc.

amus

Thank you all very much for your replies and sharing your experiences you have all been really helpful xx

mrshappy

Skint and maire (and everyone else)- so sorry to see your news, take care of yourselves xx

Definitely_blonde

I am so sorry to see all the sad news; skintchick, maire, amus and everyone else - take care xx