Miscarriage support

skintchick

Huge hugs for Saffagal, Natter and Maire1.

I can;t add much to what's been said. But for the mc I had while working, I had three weeks off work, the first two I was bleeding and the last one I just didn;t feel ready to go back. Thankfully my boss was very understanding, he was about the only decent thing about that place!

My others I've had as a SAHM, and my OH has taken a week or two off to support me. I do my mcs naturally at home so there is time in the actual process and after that I usuall take a few days to allow myself to be emotional,before I have to get my head sorted and be a full-time Mum.

But we are all different, so take what time is right for you. There is no wrong amount of time IMO and most GPs are happy to sign you off.

As for me, it is my due date today of the baby I lost in a missed miscarriage, the pregnancy where we thought we were safe cos we'd seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks and I heard the HB at home on my doppler at 10.5 weeks. My OH hasn;t realised, so I feel quite alone today Especially as today I got my Choose and Book form for my appoitnment at the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic at St Mary's. THe only good news is that they can see me in two weeks, which is great! I thought the waiting list was 6 months, from what I'd seen online.

mishkanorman

skintchick wrote: »

Huge hugs for Saffagal, Natter and Maire1.

I can;t add much to what's been said. But for the mc I had while working, I had three weeks off work, the first two I was bleeding and the last one I just didn;t feel ready to go back. Thankfully my boss was very understanding, he was about the only decent thing about that place!

My others I've had as a SAHM, and my OH has taken a week or two off to support me. I do my mcs naturally at home so there is time in the actual process and after that I usuall take a few days to allow myself to be emotional,before I have to get my head sorted and be a full-time Mum.

But we are all different, so take what time is right for you. There is no wrong amount of time IMO and most GPs are happy to sign you off.

As for me, it is my due date today of the baby I lost in a missed miscarriage, the pregnancy where we thought we were safe cos we'd seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks and I heard the HB at home on my doppler at 10.5 weeks. My OH hasn;t realised, so I feel quite alone today Especially as today I got my Choose and Book form for my appoitnment at the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic at St Mary's. THe only good news is that they can see me in two weeks, which is great! I thought the waiting list was 6 months, from what I'd seen online.

Hugs skintchick,

My due date hit me hard too, and like yours my OH didnt realise and even though I warned him the week before he still managed to forget

Sorry to see the newbies to this thread, I cant offer any experience better than those already shared as mine was an easy time of it compared to most.

cleofish

skintchick wrote: »

Huge hugs for Saffagal, Natter and Maire1.

I can;t add much to what's been said. But for the mc I had while working, I had three weeks off work, the first two I was bleeding and the last one I just didn;t feel ready to go back. Thankfully my boss was very understanding, he was about the only decent thing about that place!

My others I've had as a SAHM, and my OH has taken a week or two off to support me. I do my mcs naturally at home so there is time in the actual process and after that I usuall take a few days to allow myself to be emotional,before I have to get my head sorted and be a full-time Mum.

But we are all different, so take what time is right for you. There is no wrong amount of time IMO and most GPs are happy to sign you off.

As for me, it is my due date today of the baby I lost in a missed miscarriage, the pregnancy where we thought we were safe cos we'd seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks and I heard the HB at home on my doppler at 10.5 weeks. My OH hasn;t realised, so I feel quite alone today Especially as today I got my Choose and Book form for my appoitnment at the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic at St Mary's. THe only good news is that they can see me in two weeks, which is great! I thought the waiting list was 6 months, from what I'd seen online.

sending you big hugs and thoughts for your due date today, my oh will forget dates, but for me dates seem to linger and stay there till im past them. My due date for my 2nd pregnancy loss was this 16th may, and i felt happy i was pregnant again within those 9 months but i lost that one as well about a week ago so i didnt even manage to stay pregnant tiill the due date

good luck for the recurrent miscarriage clinic, we have been referred after this one and we are awaiting an apt. What is the choose and book form, if you dont mind me asking is that for booking an apt?

hoping you get some answers or some sort of reassurance from the clinic.

abis21

Hugs for Saffagal - sorry its happened to you again :( I think that no matter how hard you tell yourself not to get your hopes up or too plan to much into the future etc, you just simply can't help but bond with the baby and think and hope for the future. Hope you are doing ok xx

Skintchick - hugs for your due date. Are you going to remind your OH? He won't mean to be hurtful about it - it might help to talk things through with him and have each others support. Good news that your appt has come through tho

zippybungle

Hi everyone,

Sorry for everyone's losses.

On the 2nd June, it will be 8 years since I lost my baby Daughter at 23 weeks pregnant.

I can't believe that it was 8 years ago! At this time of year I do start to think about the 'what if's' but I have since gone on to have 2 more Children and I don't think we would have had 2 more children if I hadn't have lost my Daughter.

It is 'cliche' but time IS a great healer,. I couldn't imagine ever feeling 'normal' again after I lost my Daughter, but you do.....be gentle on yourself.

Take care everyone

Zippy x x x x

cleofish

i was thinking of something today.. with everything thats happened i get a lot of ... least you know you can get pregnant blah blah sort of thing.
I try and smile through it when i just want to scream sometimes depending on my mood.

Do you think it is better (and im not even sure that is a good word,i aplogise in advance) to never be able to get pregnant or to get pregnant and then to lose all the time?

Ive been taking to my family to try to figure out if anything runs in my family and ive been told my maternal grandmother had 9 pregnancies and only 2 live births, lots of miscarriages, couple of still births and bear in mind this must have been a while ago when there werent scans, it just makes me think how did she ever just keep on going, how did she get through those 9 months never knowing whether the baby was ok, i assume they must have had an old fashioned doppler hearing tool to hear a heartbeat but still?
Shes no longer with us but i think i admire her even more now.

colli

I'm so sorry for your loss saffagal. I had a similar situation earlier this year, when I had my erpc for my second mc 4 days before the edd of my first lost baby. To be honest in a way they cancelled each other out a bit as I didn't know which I should be grieving for .

I think cleofish I'd prefer to get pregnant but lose the babies, as painful as my loses have been if I had the chance to choose between the way things turned out and not getting pregnant at all I'd keep things as they are. That said I'm tentatively pregnant for the third time and don't know if I could do it again if it didn't work out.

sorry for all those who are having a hard time, please look after yourselves xxx

Kitten_Pie

cleo, I often wonder whether I would have preferred not to have got pregnant with the boys at all than lose them when we did.

I feel guilty when I think of this because although we would have saved a lot of hurt I would never have held them or had the stories that we did. I do still wonder and given the choice I don't know what I would go with.

skintchick

cleofish wrote: »

good luck for the recurrent miscarriage clinic, we have been referred after this one and we are awaiting an apt. What is the choose and book form, if you dont mind me asking is that for booking an apt?

hoping you get some answers or some sort of reassurance from the clinic.

The Choose and Book form is what the Gp gives you. I went to the Gp for a referral, she gets the form made up, I fetched it today from the surgery, and then you can phone or go online to book your appointment.

I went online just now and have an appointment in two weeks!! I thought the waiting list was 6 months so am very surprised and pleased. We have to stop TTc so bizarrely now hoping I am not PG this cycle.

I think Choose and Book is nationwide now. If you google it there is an NHs website about it.


On whether it is better to have been Pg and lost or not PG at all, I have thought about this in the past and think it is better to have loved and lost. Because when you can get Pg, even if it's not easy, then there is some hope, and with all the knowledge now there is treatment available for many of the reasons why.

And because our babies are in heaven and we will meet them again one day. So they are not lost, just waiting for us. :A

cleofish

thanks for answering, just had a quick google and wales is exempt it sounds a really good system though to be able to choose a hospital.

We were referred from epu and she said anywhere up to 12 weeks wait for the consultant in our local hospital, but she did refer us to a new doctor where she said the wait what be so long so im hoping it will be shorter.

Hope your apt goes well