Miscarriage support

abis21

Thanks fly dragon fly and susan c.

DD went to her dads a couple of days early when we had to go to hospital etc. We did chat to her before she went and she understood everything. She asked if she could tell people at school, and I said not because they didn't know I had a baby in my tummy in the first place. Said she could speak to her daddy/step mum, or to me and DH or anyone else who knew about it.

She has been round for a couple of hours tonight to see me, and we've chatted some more. I explained that the baby had been making me very poorly due to the molar aspect, and that I now feel a lot better. Explained that it will be a long time before we can try and get another baby in our tummy. Asked her how she is feeling and she said she was happy. Asked why and she said because mummy was feeling better.

Her dad says shes been fine round there - not asked any questions or talked about the baby at all. Will just keep a close eye on her to make sure she continues to be ok.

I'm unsure as to whether to tell her teacher. Had it been the teacher from last year - I would have defo told her. But this year its a 23 year old man teaching her - so I just feel a bit more awkward writing a letter to him about it. Will see how she is next week when she is back with me.

Susanc - I know what you mean about all her friends having siblings She does have a half brother with her dad/step mum tho - so I suppose she isn't missing out so much.

My tummy had been cramping a lot more today. Had some tablets but the pain is still there.

Other than that - physically I feel so much better. The sickness, nausea, lack of appetite, and lack of energy all seem to be gone now. The molar aspect had made me feel so poorly. I had just thought it was a sign that everything was ok tho Every time I was sick, it was in a way a little comforting to think that everything was ok - when in fact it was due to the molar pregnancy that I was being so sick.

My mum came round and I had a long chat with her about everything today. Was nice to see her.

Its DD's birthday next week, so will be very busy. Suppose it will be a nice distraction. My mum said I might find it hard, but I am looking forward to it all at the moment. Hope I will still be ok next week.

On the whole I feel ok and am trying to think positively etc. I do get moments of sadness when I think of what could have been, and how I was looking forward to posting a scan photo of a healthy baby on facebook, and christmas with a family of 4 etc.

Struggling with the thought of waiting so long to try again still. I guess that will take quite a while to come to terms with that tho.

Also struggling with silly things - like I took some ibroprufen earlier for the cramps, and it felt 'wrong'. For months (while TTC and pregnant) I have avoided all sorts of things to protect the baby, and I suppose that is still my instinct even tho there is no baby there still. Its only early days still tho. It was only 2.5 days ago we got the news - its bound to take a while for it to sink in and become 'normal' again.

Hope everybody else is doing ok.

lauradora

Hey abis, sorry to see you here too

Needhelpsaving

Hi all,

I am sorry that Abis and Cleofish have had to join the thread My thoughts are with you both.

Due to an unexpected turn of events, everyone now knows the situation. I was taken into hospital Thursday with a suspected eptopic pregnancy. I have come home today minus a falopian tube (luckily they said my other ovary and tube is healthy).

I hope you are all getting the support you need, thinking of you all xxxxx

Kitten_Pie

Needhelpsaving, I hope that you are ok, your post sounds fairly upbeat but thinking of you.

I know there are others on this thread who have been through similar if you need to talk or rant etc.

Needhelpsaving

Hi Kitten-pie,

I was quite upbeat yesterday. Although I have been a little teary today after seeing two newborns at a family party. I suppose you just have to take it a day at a time.

How are you?

cleofish

hi everyone,

thanks for your words, been a bit of an up and down weekend. I feel ok but then it catches me what has happened and that our pregnancy is over and any hopes that we had (even though we really tried this time not to let it run away) are over as well.

Ive had a lot of bleeding, pain and passing some clots over the weekend and i had hoped that it might pass this weekend before i have to phone on monday to arrange the d and c. (my last d and c in the hospital wasnt the best experience, so was hoping that i might not have to have another one ever again but was not to be)

Ive never gone down the natural route before to let it happen at home, but ive read that is is quite painful, is it as bad as you read on the internet? Because of my molar before if i dont have the d and c and get the tissue to be sent off, ill have to have weekly blood tests and scans to make sure the womb is empty.

Im not sure what to do, there isnt any rush for us to start again as we are going to wait until we see the specilist so i dont mind if it bleeds for a couple of weeks, but if its going to be really painful and possible not come out ill have to end up having a d and c anyway, think i might give epu a call on monday and ask their advice.

needhelpsaving- im so sorry to hear that you have had to have your tube removed, its really horrible all this stuff, i really wish everyone didnt have to go through so much. sending you my thoughts.

Hope every is well.

Kitten_Pie

Needhelpsaving wrote: »

Hi Kitten-pie,

I was quite upbeat yesterday. Although I have been a little teary today after seeing two newborns at a family party. I suppose you just have to take it a day at a time.

How are you?

I am ok, still taking everyday as it comes and I am coming up to 7 months since so don't feel you have to be 'with it'

It is going to be difficult and when you feel fine something simple which you didn't realise would affect you will knock you completely. (It doesn't even have to be baby related)

Cleo, sorry that you are having a hard time, with decisions to make on top of everything. I am not sure how it works so can't advise but sure someone will be able to offer some words of wisdom soon.

lauradora

cleofish wrote: »

Ive had a lot of bleeding, pain and passing some clots over the weekend and i had hoped that it might pass this weekend before i have to phone on monday to arrange the d and c. (my last d and c in the hospital wasnt the best experience, so was hoping that i might not have to have another one ever again but was not to be)

Ive never gone down the natural route before to let it happen at home, but ive read that is is quite painful, is it as bad as you read on the internet? Because of my molar before if i dont have the d and c and get the tissue to be sent off, ill have to have weekly blood tests and scans to make sure the womb is empty.

Im not sure what to do, there isnt any rush for us to start again as we are going to wait until we see the specilist so i dont mind if it bleeds for a couple of weeks, but if its going to be really painful and possible not come out ill have to end up having a d and c anyway, think i might give epu a call on monday and ask their advice.

.

Hi Cleo

The only thing I can say is that while I had the medication I still had all the pain and issues of labour. And while they kept me in hospital to make sure placenta and foetus had been passed I was still sent home to bleed. It was more of a psychological thing than anything else but the fact that your suffering physically compacts your mental suffering, in my experience anyway. I have spent the last ten days praying that I could go back and have my time again and choose the surgery.

And yes it has been very very painful. i am normally the person who will suffer through pain and not take anything but I have been reliant on painkillers up until last night. I know everyone is different but I wish I would have asked around before I made my decision about the route to go down so I hope that may help a little.

I have been feeling better for the first time in ages today. The bleeding hasnt stopped but has slowed down considerably which ofcourse means that a lot of the pain has subsided. The trouble with that is the minute I feel good or laugh at something I immedietley feel guilty. Thats just something that i'm having to get on with. Must say that hubby has been amazing-he has done more than I could ever ask for :heart2:

lauradora

Needhelpsaving wrote: »

Hi Kitten-pie,

I was quite upbeat yesterday. Although I have been a little teary today after seeing two newborns at a family party. I suppose you just have to take it a day at a time.

How are you?

I'm fine with babies. Its pregnant women stroking thier tummies that gets me

Kitten_Pie

Lauradora,

I know it is easier said that done but don't feel guilty about laughing or enjoying things.

When I was in hospital after labouring the boys we were given them to hold and take pictures etc. My husband made me laugh and I felt for a moment like my normal self.

I was laughing so hard the midwives came running in thinking I was hysterical. I don't feel guilty about it and the fact that me and OH can laugh and joke still, helps the healing and keeps us connected. It doesn't for one minute take away how upset I am.