Miscarriage support

Metranil_Vavin

I'm feeling really low today.

Had a chat with OH this morning about dtd as we just never seem to do it. To be honest I'm feeling so low and tired I can't be bothered and neither can he, although I dont know how we're ever going to have a baby at this rate!

I have dr's appt on Weds so hopefully once I get the all clear from that we can start again.

Back to work for me tomorrow too..dreading it

stef240377

MV - sending you hugs as it seems you need them atm. Sounds like you havea touch of depression and maybe mention this to the gp when you go. I know everyone who has gone through a mc will enevitably get a touch depressed but you have been off your feet all week from your posts.

Dont worry about dtd for the sake of ttc, wait until you are both ready to want to do it for lust rather than anything else. In time take it further but for now be there for one and other - hopefully valentines day/night may get you both in an amourous mood;) and chip away some of the worry xxx

portsmouthali

Sorry you're feeling low today MV. I agree with stef, does sound like you might have a touch of depression. Don't stress about dtd, it will happen when you're both ready. Hope work goes OK tomorrow, as much as you're dreading it you might find getting back in to the old routine perks you up a bit I'm due back on Tuesday, not looking forward to it at all but I reckon it'll do me good. Hope my boss goes easy on me for a couple of days (unlikely, she's quite a tyrant )

msb5262

Hello mv,
Sorry you are feeling so awful.
One of the hard things after a miscarriage is all the landmarks - "Last time I saw this person/came to work/took this bus route...I was pregnant,".
After my miscarriage I ended up accepting a job offer of a term's full-time teaching, even though I had a 3-year old and a 1-year old at the time, just to make everything different from how it would have been if I hadn't miscarried.
This made me feel a bit better, partly just because I'd made a conscious choice to change things and also because I was too busy to think much (though I did have a half-hour drive to and from work, which was a good chance to have some head space).
I'm telling you this in the hope that you'll be a bit ready for the thought patterns when you go back to work...so sorry for you, this is a very hard time. Best wishes and positive thoughts to you and to everyone in a similar position. MsB x
Keep on keeping on. You will feel better.

Metranil_Vavin

Thanks everyone xx

msb you are so right..that's exactly what I keep thinking..especially re work as last time I was there I was pregnant

I do think I need to get back to work as sitting about at home clearly isn't helping, but I do just feel so tired all the time..not sure how I'm going to feel at 6.30am tomorrow morning when I wake up in the dark and rain!

I hope that people at work will go a bit easy on me as I'm liable to burst into tears at any given moment!

Hope everyone is having a nice Sunday evening XX

msb5262

Poor you mv - perhaps you can plan yourself a little treat of some kind each day to try to get through this week.
Maybe just promise yourself a leisurely bath/shower and time listening to music when you get home in the evening, or arrange to meet a friend for coffee or lunch, or find a game you really like online and allow yourself half an hour's playing, or spend some money on easy meals you know you'll enjoy...

Also think about taking extra care of yourself physically. You need to recover from physical and emotional trauma, and your body needs lots of rest, plenty of water, all the raw/unprocessed foods you can manage (maybe with a vitamin/iron supplement to fill any gaps) and protein to help you to heal.
Remember to include some treats like chocolate or alcohol - you need to relax and recover. Be good to yourself and you will start feeling the dark clouds lifting just a little before long.

Hope everyone has a good week and that returning to work is not as hard as you fear.

It might help if you can plan what to say if someone asks about your health - are you telling? Not telling? Giving a good vague reply? Have it ready so you aren't too fazed.

HTH
MsB

portsmouthali

Good advice msb xxx

Will be thinking of you tomorrow MV xxx

TwiceasNice_2

Hi to all,

Its sad we meet on this thread, but also a fantastic thread. I wish it was available when i had my miscarriage in Nov (1st preg)

I think what i am still find hard is my sister in law is pregnant and is a few weeks in front of where i would have been.

msb5262 wrote: »

Hello mv,
Sorry you are feeling so awful.
One of the hard things after a miscarriage is all the landmarks - "Last time I saw this person/came to work/took this bus route...I was pregnant,".

I also found this the hardest thing.

Hugs MV

x

QQuaver

TwiceasNice wrote: »

I also found this the hardest thing.

Me too. But now that it's been 6 months, I'm dreading the due date - 7th March:(
Whenever I see really big pregnant people, I think it should have been me.

MERFE

quaver with my first MC I was dreading the due date, it was jan 6th but since I tend to have mine at least 2 weeks early (gestational diabetes) I was expecting to have the baby there for christmas. I'd got to 10 weeks before a scan revealed baby had stopped growing at 8 so had loads of plans in my head, I hadnt contemplated not having the baby, it was such a shock. I was a SAHM when I found out I was pregnant but went back to work about a month later and became alot more selfish (not in a bad way, I had been putting everyone before me for a few years and just realised I had needs too). On the due date I was at work and just tried not to think about it, I just had to get through the day, no one at work knew about the MC since I hadnt worked there before it happened so that made it easier. I have 2 due dates to look forward to this year 21st May and 17th Sept. Even if you move on by the time they come round they are going to be a sad day, us mums never forget, even this year I remembered the baby I'd lost and that they would have been a year old this christmas but I was able to deal with it as a it would have been lovely but wasnt meant to be.