Miscarriage support

MERFE

MV I can not believe that hospital lady, how awful for you, really hope she is off when you have to go back in.

I've seen the same lady every time I've been to the EPU except for once and the one I saw when she was off was awful, very matter of fact but I think trying too hard as well. I live quite far from the hospital, it was after my first MC and it was the scan a week later to make sure everything had gone, and she asked if I was ok for her to do the scan I thought well yes I've come all this way and was told I needed to make sure it was all gone. I was probably not in the best moods at the time understandably but everytime I've been back since I've hoped its not her and it hasnt been. The lady who is normally there is fantastic. She never lets you see the screen till she knows whats going on then ask if you want to see after she has told you, so the time there was a heartbeat she turned it round for me to see, with the missed MC she asked if I wanted to see, I did not and this last time she showed me the empty womb but also that there wasnt anything on the ultrasound that she could see that would explain whats going on.

I'm at the stage now where I want to know why this is happening again and again but dont know if I could even try again if there is no reason. What do I do if it happens another time????

I have doctors tomorrow to get a referal hopefully but I also have a few other things to talk about, think I might be there all day.

Ali I'm still really tired, it can be a part of the greiving, although I'm back to work already so could just be tired from the late nights but I feel more tired than normal.

Metranil_Vavin

I hope you get some answers MERFE.

I feel very tired today...but I actually think its a touch of depression as I haven't really done much recently. I cant muster the energy to do anything apart from lie on the sofa watching rubbish tv.

QQuaver

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

In fact...can anyone tell me how they get back into BD'ing after a MC?

To be honest, OH and I can tend to be lazy about sex anyway, so I'm worrying a bit about us getting back on the bike, so to speak!

In my case, we got back into it after about a week after the bleeding stopped. We used condom though.

QQuaver

Leopardlady wrote: »

We have had some "fun" since the bleeding first stopped, but then i started bleeding a couple of days later and it worried OH. I have not tested since the ERPC, but am wondering whether i should, i was just going to wait until AF showed up.

I'd wait until the AF has come and gone. It's sad seeing +ve. It was sad seeing -ve too, it felt so final:(

portsmouthali

QQuaver wrote: »

I'd wait until the AF has come and gone. It's sad seeing +ve. It was sad seeing -ve too, it felt so final:(

Yeah I guess so Q This whole thing is full of sad experiences that should be happy. When I was pg with my son, I had lots of scans as the midwives always thought my dates were wrong (they weren't my son was just big) and I remember always being so excited about what we'd see on the screen. Now I associate scans with black empty screens and bad news

Sorry for moaning, rant over xxx

pigpen

Leopardlady wrote: »

We have had some "fun" since the bleeding first stopped, but then i started bleeding a couple of days later and it worried OH. I have not tested since the ERPC, but am wondering whether i should, i was just going to wait until AF showed up.

I cannot understand why anyone would test after a m/c.. nothing like upsetting yourself. The scan has told you what you didn't want to know and will confirm at a later date.. don't upset yourselves! After ERPC the theatre staff check they have everything that was shown on the scan.. sometimes they do a quick scan to make sure.. depends on the hospital/surgeon.

If the ERPC hadn't get everything you'd not have stopped bleeding.. been there... You may have an extra week or so added to your normal cycle length but it should be fine.

I've had 7 m/c, I also m/c the twins to my second and third children.. I had 4 ERPC's and after 2 I was pg again before af turned up.. both times with positive outcomes (now 15 and 5) One took 8 months to conceive after and the other 2 months.

Just live your life and don't stress about it.. half the battle is in conceiving.. you know you can do that.. the rest is in the hands of fate.. nothing you do or do not do (without resorting to intervention) can change it if it is meant to be.

I get really stressed the first few weeks and am never happy until I have my LO safe in my arms.. but being relaxed about it and going with how you are feeling.. sleep when tired, eat when hungry all helps I'm sure of it.

I wish you all well xx

tinkwings

yes I am shattered all the time & cold too. I poppped in to see my neighbour & even tough it was only 8 pm I was yawning my head off.

Wish i could just curl up & not face anyone

Leopardlady

Pigpen, thank you, i was told that they had not checked anything after ERPC as it was a blind procedure, but i do not feel pg anymore and was not even thinking about testing, but thank you for your sensible words. I am so sorry for what you have been through, but you seem a very very strong person.

I am feeling a lot more postive today, and slept very well last night, so things are def looking up.

I know life is for living and what will be will be, but life can also be very upsetting. I am healthy, happy and have a wonderful family and friends = i am very grateful

Metranil_Vavin

I've just woken up after a 1.5 hour sleep and feel terrible..why does that always happen when you doze off in the middle of the day? I just couldn't keep my eyes open though..strange dreams too!

Pigpen - if you haven't had ERPC, and nature has just been left to take it's course, would it not be confusing to take a preg test after BD'ing and getting a +, even though it could just be leftover from before the MC?

I suppose these are all things I am going to have to ask old Grumpy-Pants on Weds at EPU.

Right I must get started on the lasagne I promised OH I'd make for dinner. He's been doing it all recently, so I must shift my ar5e.

valkirn

Pigpen, if like some of these ladies have done you allow nature to take its course then it is advised to take a pg test after to make sure the hormones have returned to normal, the scan only makes sure nothing has been retained.

Ive had 2 erpc procedures, and after the erpc's ive never felt the need to test though after this last one ive tested a couple of times as my af still hasnt returned 11 weeks on, and its heartbreaking each time but as soon as i go to the doc the first thing they ask is if ive tested yet.

Im hoping my blood test will give me some answers as to why my af hasnt returned, but apparently im lucky as they dont have to test me for 6 months as its not unusual for periods to dissapear after.