Miscarriage support

cleofish

kitten pie just wanted to post and say i am thinking of you today. There are no words i can say and half the time im not good with words anyway.

I can not imagine what it must be like to go into labour and not have any babies at the end of it. Ive never even gone past 12 weeks.
You and your husband sound so strong just surviving what you have been through nevermind getting pregnant again is unbelievabley brave.

Im glad you did post something, sometimes it is good just to be able to put stuff down for your own mind sometimes.

I hope you manage to remember today not just for the sad times but for even the little good things that have happened.

will be thinking of you today, sorry if my words are a bit pants, sometimes it is hard to know what to say but wanted to let you know that you and your dh will be thought of today.

LadyMorticia

Thinking of you Kitten Pie.:grouphug:

SusanC_2

Hugs Kitten_Pie. I think seeing my baby's coffin there in a hole and having to walk away and leave it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do and to have to do that with two must be so much worse. I understand your fears and not doing the same preparation as last time. I was too scared to have a scan before the anomaly scan for fear that something would be wrong and I would have to go through this knowing it wouldn't work. I also can't bring myself to think about buying any of the big things we still need even five weeks beyond where it all went wrong last time as just the week before the scan my husband had bought the cot and a load of other bits and pieces so even though I know rationally that buying stuff won't cause anything to go wrong, I daren't yet just in case.

Kitten_Pie

Thank you all for your kind words.

Cleofish your not as pants as you think with words.

Susan, that is how we feel. It is real nappy week and the nappies we want are over £50 cheaper and logically we know that it is a good saving, we could put it in storage if it goes wrong. But emotionally we don't want to jinx anything and I know how stupid it sounds but it is hard.

One of the easier things (I say easier but hope you realise it isn't the word I am after) that by saying goodbye to both, they will always be together and I don't feel like I am abandoning them as much.

We had them cremated because we don't like the area we live in and if we buried them we would never leave. They are in the same box but separated. So together but apart like they were in the womb. We asked for them not to be lowered while we were there as I just couldn't watch.

SusanC_2

Yes, I think it makes completw sense that there is some comfort in them being together.

TeamLowe

Oh, Kitten Pie i'm always so sorry for you loss and i think about you a lot, your strength is amazing and you and your oh seem really close

i know your little one(s) will grow up hearing lots about their big brothers and they'll always be a huge part of your family.

and i understand what you mean about them not being lonely. i know it's not the same, but one of the things that comforts me is my baby is with her great grandmothers, both of whom absolutely adored children, and i know she'll grow up big and strong with them and send me her siblings one day so that i'm not lonely down here x x

lilymay1

KittenPie.

I have been where you are now. I promise you, you will never have to do anything that hard again. That is the only bit of silver lining in a terribly dull cloud.

Time does heal and it will get easier to live with. The pain never goes away, its 18 months and 5 days since my daughter passed away, but it hurts less now than it did. And my son, 6 months old tomorrow, has helped more than I could ever explain. Just as your baby will help you. It doesn't fill the hole, but it does help to heal it.

Take care of yourself. Big hugs xxx

Metranil_Vavin

kitten your post has brought tears to my eyes.

I am so, so sorry for the tragic loss of your boys, but look forward to the birth announcement of your LO x

emsbet

((hugs)) Kitten,

I'm thinking of you and your boys today as I often do. You will never forget them and milestones like this make it harder to bare. It was Alex's due date last week and I was a wreck most of the day and the few days leading up to it. I was sad for the things that never were but I also felt guilty as I feel I should be focusing on the future. I can only imagine how you are feeling.

It's completely understandable that you are too scared to buy anything. I've still not bought anything but some family members have bought some bits, a bath, bath products, baby gros etc and I have put them away because I can't look at them yet. Like Susan said, you know buying stuff won't make any difference to the outcome but you just can't bring yourself to do it, just in case.

Take care of yourself sweetie, you know my PM is always open if you need to chat

xx

colli

Thinking of you today Kitten Pie. Words can't do justice to your loss. Hope you, your OH and the little one are as ok as you can be today x