Miscarriage support

Rups32

hi ladies.. i am really sorry for everyone's losses and experiences. :-( to be honest, you girls are so brave and i admire you for going through what you are. I couldnt go through with looking at what I was passing in the loo. I know i am such a coward, but thats why i just wanted the surgery option. :-(

I have been away with my hubby to try and get away from it and we went for a long weekend to bath to see his relatives. his uncle and aunt have no kids and they are in their 50s/60s, so i spoke to his aunt about my MC as i felt sad and i had known from MIL that she had had one or a few. she said its so sad and she knows the feeling, but she is such a no-nonsense-and deal-with-it woman, she said she had no choice but to carry on with life. i am sure deep down they are very sad as they havent had kids and neither have they adopted. so weird.

i was thinking about it all the time though. EVEN whilst away i was faced with pregnant women everywhere and i just sighed. Then on TV i saw a pampers ad and started crying!! i am so desperate to try for another baby but am scared.
today reading the free paper in the train, i came across this story and thought wow!!!
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/892332-mum-after-16-tries-i-finally-got-the-baby-i-wanted

i hope you dont mind me posting this here. xx

SusanC_2

What an amazing woman - I don't think I could keep going through so many losses but it is so encouraging to know that it can still work out even after all that. I know a lady through HG groups who I find similarly inspiring - she has been pregnant with HG eleven times and lost nine babies some purely down to not receiving the care she should have for her illness yet she does not show bitterness and puts a lot of work into encouraging women who are suffering with HG and raising awareness. I hope that one day I can be as positive and encouraging to others as she is.

SusanC_2

Rups of course it is scary trying again and IME pregnancy after miscarriage is much more worrying than before and feels more precarious but in actual fact one miscarriage makes virtually no difference to the odds of the next pregnancy being successful and miscarriage is supposed to be more common in first pregnancies so your next pregnancy is still far more likely than not to have a successful outcome. I hope that doesn't sound like I'm dismissing your fears as I'm not and it's totally normal to fear something that has happened once before but I want to reassure you that despite what happened before the odds are in your favour (though I know all too well how knowing in your head it's likely to be okay doesn't always mean you feel like it will).

SusanC_2

Also your husbands Aunt may find talking about it that way the easiest way to deal with talking about it to other people. I find the illness I suffer from in pregnancy very hard but often when other people say admiring things about how well they think I cope with it I find myself saying things like, "It's not that bad - at least I don't have a permanent illness." or "You get used to it/learn to live with it." because I feel embarrassed and awkward and don't know what to say rather than because I don't find it really hard so it could be that the way your husbands Aunt talks about it is just her way of dealing with conversations about it rather than being an accurate reflection of how it is/has been for her iyswim?

Rups32

Thanks Susan. that worry will always be there unfortunately. am trying not to have a stressful lifestyle anyway as i dont want to start all stressed out etc. i do have to change the way i feel as i get wound up so easily and even at work, if the pressure is a bit too much, i start feeling it loads, so have to def learn how to chill a bit. Hubby doesnt help as he erupts at anything little and starts jumping up and down. Just his personality. lol.

i found that article amazing and thought of how easily sometimes people can give up, through no fault of their own. i am scared to try again but am def going to as i have to just go ahead with it, otherwise will always have regrets.

so tired now. i found that even walking around bath at the weekend got me so tired out. still need that energy back.

jules68

Snipzychick, I am so sorry for your loss. I have just had my 4th mc and like you did not expect too much so I would save myself heartache. Feel free to pm me anytime.

Went to docs today as still bleeding she asked if I had been referred to anyone and I said no as I thought my age would be a reason. She said she would refer me to someone, so we will see.

Rups32

morning all.

jules i am glad that you are being referred. that will answer so many of your questions.

am tired. got my swim suit so am making my first step back into the gym. wish me luck. lol

[Deleted User]

Sorry to see you on this board. I had a miscarriage on 29 December. It's been manageable, but tough as the much loved man we asked to be Godfather died last week. The link of losses is harsh.

Anyway, the reason for writing is that I've had my first period since the miscarriage and it's been horrific. I've been bleeding and flooding like never before. I've had some cramps, but that's been managed by ibuprofen, eventually. I was beginning to wonder if this was another miscarriage, despite our precautions.

As my periods are usually mild, can anyone let me know if their experience is similar. It's knocked me out!

manda1205

hiphouse, my periods took months to get back to normal. I honestly think its taken me nearly a year to be bproperly back to normal. To begin with I had horrendously heavy periods and they lasted longer too, I also had really bad PMS. My body ached a lot as well. Everyones different and if it bothers you or is too painful it may be worth seeing a Dr, but we all know our own bodies so do what you think is right.

jules68

hiphouse, sorry to hear of your loss. If you are worried you could do a pregnancy test, it will still show up positive if its a mc. As manda said, they could take a while to get back on track.

My bleeding seems to have almost stopped now but am still showing a + on a hpt, so hopefully will be back to neg soon!!