Miscarriage support

Rups32

wow susan. this is a very good letter. if you dont mind, may i use bits from it please, as you have started it so well and go into the factors that were upsetting you very nicely? is that ok? i will of course change it but i did wonder how to even begin.

i will have some time tonight, so that is what i will be doing!! i must get it done or they will continue to be like that.

SusanC_2

Rups32 wrote: »

wow susan. this is a very good letter. if you dont mind, may i use bits from it please, as you have started it so well and go into the factors that were upsetting you very nicely? is that ok? i will of course change it but i did wonder how to even begin.

i will have some time tonight, so that is what i will be doing!! i must get it done or they will continue to be like that.

Feel free to copy whatever is useful from it - I'm glad to be able to help.

Rups32

Thank you very much. you are very kind. Had similar issues abuot waiting around and not being told much.. i will have to make sure i say that on the surgery day, they were amazing, despite being told to come in for 12.15 and waiting till 4 and not having eaten all day. i felt drained when i went in for surgery and thought i would faint as was starving..i hate the waiting around and not knowing where next etc. that is so annoying!

portsmouthali

Nephthys wrote: »

On the negative downer side, I've just had my second miscarriage. It was fairly early on this time but bit of a shock. Somehow I had thought that if it was going to happen then it would be like the first time (MMC picked up on scan). It didn't. I had a bleed and that was that as they say. I thought I was doing ok but this time seems harder than the first. I know it will get better but I want to get past being unhappy. Sorry for the whingeing - it helps to write it all down and know that I won't upset my DH!

I'm so sorry it's happened again:( I found my 2nd loss harder too. The 1st was more of a shock as I didn't see it coming (my first pregnancy was trouble free, and I was complacent) but I couldn't believe it when it happened again :(I had longer off work, and it took longer to recover emotionally which drove a bit of a wedge between me & OH for a while. We're OK now though and I still haven't quite given up hope that we'll hold a baby in our arms again. Take care of yourself xxx

Nephthys

Thanks Susan and Ali - that has actually amde me feel a bit better. i thought I was just being stupid and letting it get to me too much but the fact that both of you have had those feelings too makes me think that it's more normal (as it were) to feel that way.

I hope I don't upset either of you but I have lurked on this thread for more than 2 years since my first MC and both of you have inspired me so much with your courage and determination (as have some others). I have been heartbroken with both your journeys and in awe of the fact that you seem (on here anyway) to be so strong and ready to keep going on in spite of everything you have been through. So even if you didn't know you were helping - thank you for everything!!!

I haven't really had much time off work as I was afraid of letting myself get more and more unhappy (I don't want to use the word depressed as I don't think it's the right description) if I was at home on my own. I had a couple of days off for the worst of the physical effects but at the time I knew myself well enough to realise that while i could cope with the physical - the emotional would hit later. I just wasn't prepared for how much it would hit me. Thank you all for understanding and your patience. It means a lot to be able to write it down and realise that others understand (unfortunately! I wish none of us had to understand this!).

Gosh - that sounds so mushy. However, it's actually exactly what I wanted to say. Most unusal for me as I normally get tongue tied about stuff and end up spouting nonsense and not saying what I wanted to in the first place!

colli

what a lovely post Nephthys, sums up exactly what this thread is for.:) xx

Rups32

ah that was lovely reading that..

yes i agree, this post has given me so much more strength esp when things between me and hubby were a bit heated up regarding when to go back to work etc etc.. i am like you nephthys... if i stay at home, i have too much time and start feeling very down, but this week, i am finding myself so tired. the commute to work is so tiring and doesnt help with the delays on the trains and tubes...

today i feel more upset and sad.. I read some comments in the paper on the train about pregnant women and keep seeing them. and i just feel sad..i nearly burst out crying at work now but controlled myself.

thebaileys

Susan, that is a really good letter, and I think it is great that you have highlighted things that will most certainly help the care of ladies and family's that have suffered from miscarriage.

When I was last in hospital with my 2nd miscarriage they have introduced a brand new Early Pregnancy Unit,which is away from the maternity unit where you would normally get your scan.

It is a good idea, however the walls are paper thin, I actually heard a couple having there scan and being told there was no heartbeat.


There was also a lot of waiting around in A and E, where I feel that this department cannot do anything for you, but refer you for an early scan the next day-or on a Monday if it happens over the weekend.

I had ward access during my miscarriage which a complicated one,I was admitted four times, I ended up having 2 operations in 9 days. Once on the ward the level of care was very good, I had a private room everytime I was admitted.

At the time Northumbria Uni were doing study about level of care for Ladies who had miscarriages, so hopefully care will improve.

thebaileys

So sorry to hear of your miscarriage Nepthys x

Hope your ok, Rups, when I lost my first baby, I felt like everyone around me was pregnant, I just wanted to hide, stay strong and take care x

Rups32

Thanks for the advise thebaileys.. i do feel that today esp... I cant hide from them as wherever i go, i just find them .:( i mentally prepared myself to see them but its when you just keep saying them everywhere! even when iw anted to get out ofthe house after the surgery to go have a hair cut, i saw 3 preg women at the salon! that just ruined it for me as was trying to cheer myself up! At work, there are 2 preg women who sit not far from me. i am happy for them, but just feel sad that i dont have a baby anymore...sigh..am trying to be strong. thank you..xxx hugs